My son is 65 and I didn't even know: the new TikTok rules aren't what we need

"The kids will hate them, the parents are savagely skeptical, and there are MUCH bigger things to worry about on the platform," writes this Sydney mum of a teen.

TikTok keeps me young.

Yes, I'm being serious.

With a 15-year-old in the house, it's one of the ways we communicate because he's constantly sending me clips of stuff he's interested in. So I get to learn what's happening with 'kids these days' - and the language they're using to talk about it.

That's important for both of my jobs - as a mum of a teen, and as someone who writes about kid issues for a living.

So, I'm a fan of TikTok. It definitely plays a role in society in 2023. But there's a dark side to the platform: there's a lot of inappropriate and NSFW content. And of course, as a separate issue, it's bloody addictive.

To me, there's a clear stand out in the hierarchy of those problems: and this week, TikTok is making a big deal of the less urgent one.

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TikTok definitely plays a role in society in 2023. Source: iStock

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The age limit seems redundant

In the coming weeks, all users under 18 will have the settings on their account automatically altered so they can only use the website for one hour a day. It's part of the platform's 'wellness' policy.

When my teen came to tell me about the change this morning, he was confused.

"Mum, it won't work. No one tells the truth about their age when they're making an account. And if their parents did it, then they've now got a different account.

"Like, I'm a 65-year-old woman," he laughed. (I was proud of that, because I definitely don't think his real information should be on social media.)

"So this new feature isn't going to really stop anyone from scrolling if they want to. Especially because you can choose to keep going or even turn it off."

(Yes, his statements have been censored for profanity because he's a typical teen.)

I totally agreed with him; and was confused myself. I would have thought that it's generally accepted the ship has sailed on notion of the evils of screen time.

Largely thanks to the pandemic, we're all on our phones as the main form of information and communication - and that's not changing anytime soon.

It's the way of the world, people. 

I get the message TikTok is sending. It already has ads that suggest everyone takes a break from scrolling at the one-hour mark, and this new feature takes things further for teens.

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This is where TikTok needs to focus

But the new move seems tokenistic and missing a more urgent issue. As one parent online said, "It's just a sop to placate parents." 

In 2023 talk, I think he means: "It's a load of BS."

I would prefer TikTok make a more focused effort to take its content more seriously; because that's the biggest risk. The influence of anti-social behaviour on young minds.

So much violence, misogyny and R-rated content comes up on my For You Page constantly, and it's certainly not because I have gone looking for it. That means it's absolutely available for tweens and teens if they want to find it, or stumble upon it. 

If TikTok wants kids on their platform, they must put in the effort to more carefully consider what they are offering - and show parents that's what they're doing.

That is what parents want to see: that is where the energy needs to be spent.

Get on top of the dangerous trends, the risky viral acts, that have led to too many kids injuring themselves - or dying.

Ban accounts that post animal cruelty, even in its 'mildest form'. 

Remove the content that shows men demeaning women - even the ones that are 'comedy.'

And then... make a BIG fuss about doing it so we know there are standards, not just nannying.

Originally published as My son is 65 and I didn't even know: the new TikTok rules aren't what we need