Millie Elliott on how she strengthens her mental resilience

‘I am the only one that can control that’

The rugby league superstar, podcaster and disability services founder on her family legacy and why sometimes shooting small leads to a big win.

Your family has a strong rugby league legacy. How has their support shaped your journey in sports? Did your dad give you any good tips?

Both my dad and my uncle played together at the Canberra Raiders. It was really cool getting to grow up and watch them on the field. I never thought there'd be a career in it for me until the NRLW came along in 2018. I was actually injured that year, so didn't play any footy at all, but I got to watch from the sidelines. To see girls playing for genuine NRL clubs was just really cool. My dad’s a realist, so his biggest tip to me was ‘You're not that skillful, and you're not that fast, but you work really hard, so that will get you really far.’ He still says that now. Most girls I’ve played with have said they would go down to the park with their dads to practise, whereas for me, my dad just keeps me humble. But he’s really proud of me. 

Rugby is a very high-contact sport, how do you best protect yourself against injury and concussion? What role does recovery play in your routine?

Yoga, mobility and strengthening training that complements the physical side of footy is really important, if not more important than the training itself. I've got a few injuries that I have to manage, so every day I'm doing something to support those areas of my body. It doesn't just go away once you get the surgery, I have to remain accountable with my exercises and what needs to be done. Ultimately, I am the only one that can control that.

What strategies do you use to stay mentally resilient, especially when it comes to handling the critique that comes with being a high-profile player?

To be honest, I don't really pay too much attention to it, there's just no point. You can do 10 good things and they'll talk about the one thing you did bad. The people making these comments aren’t connected to my life, they don't know me, so why would I listen to what they have to say? Surrounding myself with the people that I love, trust and value is more important to me. If I’m comfortable in my own skin and in what I’m doing, then I have nothing to really worry about. 

Your husband, Adam, is also a Rugby player. Are you guys super competitive with each other?

Adam loves the women's game and he loves that I play. Playing at different clubs, there are a lot of sacrifices that we have to make as husband and wife. But we understand each other's schedules, and know how busy and draining our profession can be. It's not like doing a desk job or something, 9:00 to 5:00. We’re also very competitive with nearly everything that we do. I mean, footy is a massive part of both of our lives, both professionally and socially among our friends and so we try to make sure that we're both in a really supportive space, to make sure that we help each other professionally and personally.

As someone who’s achieved so much in a relatively short period, how do you go about setting and maintaining your personal and professional goals?

I think setting goals is such a big thing. It's ingrained into us as athletes, and I take it very seriously. We obviously have big goals as a team, but for me, ticking off the little goals is what gets me in better stead for what I need to achieve long-term. Both for footy, but also for my own rehab and just staying fit. As a part-time athlete, a lot of it is about what I’m doing outside [the game]. How am I bettering myself for life after footy? Or if I do get injured, what do I have as a backup plan? Obviously every club has the goal to win the premiership, but you don't walk in on day one saying that's our goal. You walk in, and you look at what you've got for training that day, and how you're going to nail those little things.

You started a footy podcast last year with Keeley Davis called ‘Up Front’. Was this something you always wanted to do?

Keeley and I felt no one was catering to the women's game, so we thought there was a good opportunity to chat a bit about the game and put it in a more raw and realistic light. It's either one way or the other with women's sports: people either hate it and they don't think it belongs, or they try to be super over-positive about it. We’re trying to find that happy medium of the good, the bad, and all the in-between, and just be real voices of what's going on behind the scenes as a player.

You recently completed a trek along the Kokoda Trail with your sister. What inspired you to take on that challenge and what did you learn along the way? 

It was such an incredible experience. I did it with the Mark Hughes Foundation to raise money for brain cancer research and support patients and families. It was such an incredible experience, we had 23 women all connected to the foundation in some way. Whether they had lost someone from brain cancer, had it themselves, or they were a Net brain cancer nurse.

You also founded the Trainer Group Foundation, a not-for-profit organisation for people with a disability. Why is it a cause of significance to you personally?

It came about because of my younger sister, Hannah, who's got Down syndrome. Growing up in a regional area with a family member with a disability, I saw how few services were available to them. But something that they did have was the support of the community. I feel I've been so lucky to be a part of teams my whole life, whether that's in my family, in sport or at work, and I wanted to be able to provide that feeling to people who hadn't experienced it. I wanted to provide a program where people with disabilities and accessibility requirements could find a sense of community, could get job-ready if they want to, and where they could socialise more. It's something that I take a lot of pride in, and I feel really grateful that I'm able to do it. It’s something I'll be doing for the rest of my life.

RAPID FIRE ROUND

Can’t start my morning without: A double shot almond flat white

What’s your go-to pre-game meal: Toast with peanut butter and banana

Go-to podcast: Smartless

Currently streaming: One Tree Hill

Dream holiday destination: Switzerland

I’d absolutely kill to meet: Lisa Kudrow

Current guilty pleasure: Peanut butter, straight out of the jar

How I let off steam: Swim in the ocean

Originally published as Millie Elliott on how she strengthens her mental resilience