Middle Child Day: the day the world forgot to celebrate

IT WAS Middle Child Day this week. Didn't know, did you? That's because the world always forgets middle children. Sigh.

Don't let her toothy grin fool you. Jan Brady is miserable as hell because no one even knows she exists.

A FUNNY thing happened in America this week. No, scratch that. It wasn't funny at all. It wasn't funny strange and it definitely wasn't funny haha.

In truth it was just sad. Predictable, but sad.

What happened was, it was Middle Child Day. Yes, that's a day. Problem is, no one noticed. Nobody had even the faintest idea the thing was on because - sigh - isn't that always the way with middle children?

Disclosure. I'm a middle child. Things were all cushy and sweet there for a few years when I was the difficult, rebellious youngest child. Then Dad went and had another one later in life, didn't he.

So while my little sister assumed the mantle of troublesome youngster, a role she performs admirably to this day (love ya, sis'!), I became the awkward middle child everyone forgot about.

Starved of attention, I turned to journalism, where as most of you will attest, I daily write any old crap in the desperate hope that someone will notice me.

To be honest, that's not going so well. As any editor I've ever worked for will tell you, my stories suck on a very deep level. Also, readers always seem to call me "Andrew" instead of "Anthony". Or they call me bald. I don't know what's worse.

Hey, but this story isn't about me. Sniff. Nothing ever is. Sniff, sniff. This story is about Middle Child Day, which as mentioned, everyone forgot this year. Again.

Now, if you're one of the seven billion people who missed the day (on August 12, by the way), you might have something vaguely resembling an excuse, given the day is not exactly listed on the United Nation calendar of official days.

In truth, Middle Child Day is pretty much the brainchild of one American blogger, who has formed the International Middle Child Union. The IMCU slogan says it all: "We are SO screwed".

They got that right. To our parents and to the world at large, us middle kids might as well be invisible.

Still, at least we're not pushy bastards like all you first-borns out there, or whiney weaklings like you last-born litter runts.

Fact is, we're perfect. We're baby bear's porridge. And the only reason no one ever notices us is because… wait… you've gone already? Hellooooooooooooo…

Are you an attention-starved middle child? Continue the conversation in the comments below or on Twitter @antsharwood @newscomauHQ @MidKidMusings