MAFS star Martha Kalifatidis opens up about life as a new mum to baby Lucius
To avoid haters online, the normally very public influencer Martha Kalifatidis has stayed quiet until now about the way she and husband Michael Brunelli have chosen to do things.
Lifestyle
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Motherhood has come easy to Martha Kalifatidis, who says caring for baby Lucius for the last three months has been a walk in the park compared to the debilitating nausea she suffered for the entirety of her pregnancy. But the stress of worrying about him and the challenge of breastfeeding – well, no one prepares you for that.
To avoid haters online, the normally very public influencer has stayed quiet until now about the way she and husband Michael Brunelli have chosen to do things, but when she does take the time to scroll social media, it’s been mostly positive – so far.
“It’s actually made social media a happy place for me again because, when I do finally get the time to scroll and check messages, it’s all so overwhelming positive and loving,” she says.
“Babies really do bring out the best in people.
“I’ve just stayed really quiet about the way I’ve chosen to do things and my opinions when it comes to parenting.
“The parenting and mum community online is such an intense place – it can be amazing, helpful and relatable, but God forbid you do something different to the next person – within hours you can have thousands of people commenting and reprimanding you, which would be so overwhelming for a new mum.
“While I haven’t experienced it first hand, I’ve seen mums online go through it and it's the reason I’ve chosen to stay quiet this time.
“In saying all that, I’ve gotten very used to people commenting on everything I do, be it good or bad.
“But when it comes to Lucius, I think Micheal and I both have been really good at ignoring the scary, sad, and scolding messages and just enjoying our beautiful boy.”
The MAFS alumni actually admits that despite sleep deprivation and all the challenges that come with having a newborn, she never imagined she could ever feel this happy,
“I’m just in a constant state of cheesy grin,” the Melbourne 34-year-old tells Insider.
“Sure I’m tired, but it’s nothing in comparison to nine months of nausea.
“With the risk of everyone reading this rolling their eyes, I’m actually finding it easy.
“It’s kind of all come naturally to me.
“But nothing can prepare you for the stress of it all – the constant checks to see if he’s breathing, the fact you never actually sleep … like deep sleep.
“The battle to make sure he’s gaining weight, burping, remembering to change nappies – it never actually ends.
“But for the first time in my life I’m taking a really relaxed approach to it all.
“Granted I have a lot of help at home. Again, I’m very lucky and can’t complain.”
The family of three are the faces of the Bonds Baby Search, a competition which launches on Tuesday and is all grown up in its 18th year, aptly celebrating the biggest Aussie baby boom since 2008. And they may be biased – but you can’t get cuter than their baby ‘Looch’.
“I’m so lucky – Looch is such a good baby,” Kalifatidis says.
“He is so chatty right now – that’s his new thing, lots of cooing and gahhs – it’s the most heartwarming sound.
“He loves cuddles, bath time and watching the Simpsons while we get dressed.
“He hates nappy changes, sleeping alone and bright lights – he’s basically me already, poor Michael,” she laughs.
Now three months old, Lucius was diagnosed with jaundice when he was born, which although common, made him lethargic, sleepy and hard to feed.
“It was relentless. We couldn’t keep him awake for more than five minutes,” she says.
“He lost a lot of weight and we’ve been playing catch-up since, but I think now at the three-month mark he is finally making some real gains.
“I always imagined myself with a really chubby baby, but he’s so petite, long and lean.
“I think it’s the Brunelli genes, which I’m sure he will be grateful for when he’s trying out for the basketball team.”
True to a baby’s ever changing form, Lucius now keeps them on their toes going from sleeping all day to now not liking day naps.
“He isn’t much of a daytime sleeper which makes it hard to get work done, but he makes up for it at night,” she says.
“They say firstborns have FOMO, so we figured it’s down to that.”
Suffering so much during her pregnancy, she says it was the hardest time of her life – and one she thought she would never forget.
“It’s crazy because while I was sick I remember others telling me, once you meet your baby you’ll forget all of the sickness and the bad times during pregnancy,” Kalifatidis says.
“And I would think to myself ‘there is no way I can forget this’ – it was honestly the hardest time of my life, being sick for eight months straight with no relief … as if any one could forget that.
“Fast forward to me now, 12 weeks out from giving birth, and I can’t wait for my next baby.
“So for anyone reading this, you really do forget.
“Also, the ill feelings vanish instantly.
“An hour after giving birth I was showering, doing my skincare and brushing my teeth like the previous nine months never happened.
“I was back.”
And she’s sorry for anyone who doesn’t feel the same, but Martha for one, loved giving birth.
“It’s the wildest feeling that I can’t put into words,” she says.
“I had the most perfect birth experience.
“It couldn’t have gone any better – apart from the two hours of pushing and few stitches.
“The room was perfectly lit, one curtain was cracked so just a little bit of natural day light peaked through – I hate bad lighting.
“We had a diffuser going so it even smelled nice.
“It was all girls apart from Michael. My obstetrician is now one of my all time favourite people, my two midwives, Jaz and Alex, who I’ll never forget, and Bec, my sister-in-law.
“The energy, the vibe, the support they all brought was the perfect mix of calm and empowering.”
Like so many new mothers, her biggest challenge so far has been feeding.
“It was so hard in those early days,” she says.
“While breastfeeding is such a natural thing, it really isn’t easy.
“The fact you never know how much they get is really a hard pill to swallow when you as controlling as I am,” she laughs.
“But when he smiles at me I think I might just explode – or when he stops crying when his in my arms … it’s the most rewarding feeling,”
To expectant mums she says keep it simple, and do what feels right to you.
“So many people and professionals will give you advice but only you know what’s right for your baby,” she says.
“Also don’t try and do too much too soon. I promise you are not missing out on anything.
“Nothing is nicer than being home with your newborn baby – oh, and accept the help.
“Let people help you if they’re offering, and if not, then ask.
“You cannot do it alone.”
She says living with her parents during this time has really helped take the pressure off.
“Not only because it means there are five of us fighting over who’s going to hold the baby, but because Lucius is just showered with so much love,” she continues.
“I really believe it’s why he is such a happy baby.
“He can feel all the love. I’m also surrounded by amazing mums.
“Almost all my friends have kids of their own and three of my closest friends had babies within a few weeks of when I had Lucius.
“And I would not survive without Michael.
“I’m not ashamed to admit I’m the most co-dependent person I’ve ever met.
“I couldn’t ask for a more perfect partner and dad for Lucius.
“Michael is the most reliable, patient, caring, empathetic, person I’ve ever met – I can’t wait to watch him be a dad.”
She says officially being back at work is bittersweet.
“While I’d love to have all the time in the world to give Lucius my undivided attention, I’m self employed so that means no maternity leave,” she says.
“We have mortgage repayment and car repayments just like everyone else, and that means I don’t really have the option to take any more time off, especially since I took so long off during my pregnancy.
“Sometimes I think influencers get a bad wrap and people think that we are handed everything.
“It is nice to be back at it though, I love what I do so much. I’m taking it slow and trying to practice balance this time round.
“I’ve learnt that remaining calm is actually a super power, especially when it comes to parenting.
“Michael and I have become really good at letting go and moving on, instead of holding on to things and dragging out little arguments into big ones.”
And the way she spent her first Mother’s Day? An almond cappuccino and croissant in bed with Looch and Micheal. Perfection.
“While also breastfeeding and trying to apply makeup with one hand to go visit our families and celebrate our mum’s, Nona’s and Yiayia’s,” she laughs.
The Bonds Baby Search opens on Tuesday and is calling for the country’s brightest, messiest or not-so-cutesy bubs from newborns to three years old, with $30,000 in cash and daily prizes to be won.
Organisers say this year is set to be the annual competition’s biggest cohort yet, with an increase of 15,000 babies born compared to last year.
And it’s not about having the perfect baby – it’s about celebrating a new generation of ‘sparkly, messy and big personalities’ like Martha, Michael and Lucius.
Entries close on June 13, with winners announced on June 22. Enter at bonds.com.au/babysearch/
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