If you’re ready to break out in hives just thinking about asking someone on a date, you’ve come to the right place. Because we get it. With the butterflies fluttering, sweat tricking and nerves racking, just trying to secure a Friday night plus one can be daunting. 

Which is exactly why we went straight to the experts to find out what you need to know before asking someone out the respectful way.

After all, you'll never find your happily ever after if you don’t shoot your shot.

How to ask someone out on a date, the respectful way

#1. Check if they’re into you 

“Firstly it's important to gauge their interest to see if they’re interested in you,” Beck Thompson, a dating and relationship coach, tells Body+Soul. “So pick a private space to have a conversation first and flirt, make eye contact and check if there’s some sort of connection there with them.”

#2. Test the waters 

“Some people like to test the waters by engaging in common interests, like asking whether they enjoy comedy shows or the movies, and then you could kind of piggyback on that by saying, ‘Would you like to go to that together?’,” says Thompsons.

#3. Be direct

“I think it's important though to not beat around the bush and just be direct by saying something like, ‘I'm enjoying hanging out with you and would like to get to know you more’ or ‘I really like spending time with you and I’d love to go out with you’," says Thompsons. 

"Then, you can ask, ‘Would you like to go for dinner some time’ or ‘How would you feel about going for a walk together?’. Or, if you’re out in a club and it’s noisy, ‘How would you feel about catching up for coffee or something?’.

She adds, “People don’t always get that nuance sometimes, particularly men who don’t always get what you're talking about unless you are direct.”

So spell it out for them that you don’t just want to be friends.

#4. Stay true to you 

“I think it's important to just be you and make sure that whatever you're doing, it would authentically suit you as well,” Thompson explains. “Like if they like playing soccer and you hate soccer, don’t suggest playing soccer. Do something that you would both enjoy.

“Sometimes I think people get nervous and they want the person to like them and they’re so concerned about the person liking them more than they like the person and then you kind of lose who you are.”

#5. Respect their answer 

“The biggest thing is to respect their answer, like you don't want to push them,” the dating coach says. “If they're not interested, cool. Just leave it and move on to someone else. 

#6. Don’t take rejection personally

”Sometimes people make a story up about [the rejection]," says Thompson. "Like they're not good-looking enough or that they didn’t like their humour but there’s no proof of that. You have no idea where that person's at, you don't know their whole story. They could've just got out of a relationship, they could be in a messy situation, they might not want to date, they might want to stay single. Who knows.

"So I think the biggest thing is to just not take it personally because it's not really usually about you and you don't want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you anyway.”

Bonus tips for dating apps

More of a keyboard Casanova than an IRL Romeo? We’ve got you.

#1. Wait three days 

“Hinge’s research shows that three days of chatting is the sweet spot for scheduling a date,” Logan Ury, Director of Relationship Science at Hinge, tells Body+Soul. “A majority (62 per cent) of Hinge daters feel ready to schedule a date after three days of chatting.”

Because remember, “you’re on Hinge to meet a partner, not a pen pal”, Ury says. “You want to talk for long enough to build some rapport but short enough that the momentum doesn’t fizzle out.

#2. Offer up a specific plan they can respond to

“One way to do this is to propose a specific day and time for your date,” the dating app expert says. “For example, ‘If you’re as charming in real life as you are over text, we may be onto something. Drinks Thursday? Seven p.m.?’

“You may have to go back and forth to find a time that works for both of you, but this way you start to narrow down your options. It kills the excitement and momentum when you spend so much time scheduling.”

#3. Suggest taking thanks to an IRL hang

“The next time they start to tell you a story, send this, ‘Wait, wait, wait. I need to hear this in person! Picnic + dog walk on Sunday afternoon?’,” Ury encourages. “Or, if they ask you a question, say, "It's kind of a long story to type, I'll tell you about it in person! Drinks tomorrow?’"

#4. Make it personal

“Tailor your invitation based on what you've learned about the person,” he adds. “Mention something specific they've mentioned, like ‘I remember you said you love Italian food. There's this great place I've been wanting to try—would you like to go with me?’.”