How I went from PTSD to making $2000 a night cuddling men

There’s a rise of lonely Australians paying for cuddles to make them feel good – and professional cuddler Missy Robinson is making a decent wage offering her services.

For Missy Robinson, cuddling is a serious money maker. Picture: Supplied.

To the casual observer, it looks like your standard night for a rather standard Australian couple. Entwined on the sofa, cuddling each other, as they watch the latest Netflix hit show.

But for Missy Robinson, this cuddle will be a money maker. It has cost the man in her arms a total of $500. Not bad for two hours of work.

Robinson is one of a rise of professional cuddlers. Largely women, they offer pay-per-hour cuddles to those needing a little TLC.

And as she says, there’s no shortage of Australians, of all ages and from all walks of life, wanting a little human contact right now.

“Cuddling is a very maternal act,” she says. “There is a level of intimacy during the session. We might watch TV or a movie. They might fall asleep. Most of the time it’s just them talking about what’s going on in their lives.”

Missy Robinson said cuddling is a maternal and intimate act. Picture: Glenn Hampson

Missy Robinson, cuddling with Sara Petrovic, thinks human touch is important for everyone. Picture: Adam Head

Robinson likes to listen and she likes to talk. In fact, the 45-year old Gold Coaster is very open, non-judgmental. Almost instantly, you get the sense you could tell her anything and she wouldn’t even bat one of her thick eyelashes.

And she likes to talk too. A self-described “tomboy” who sought camaraderie in the military before she was shattered in the place she thought was the safest; assaulted at work by another military officer in 2008.

Then came the aftermath – depression, psychosis, hospitalisations, PTSD. She would be prescribed to take 22 psychiatric pills a day.

“I was told my life would always revolve around my illness,” Robinson says.

Then came fitness, weight loss and “doing the things I loved since I was a child”.

It was during the pandemic she picked up a book called The Cuddle Sutra: An Unabashed Celebration of the Ultimate Intimacy.

It detailed the 99 cuddle positions that a professional could offer.

“I started thinking about human touch and how important it was for us all,” she says.

She saw an episode of the TV show Billions with a professional cuddler. She did her certification in 2022.

“People underestimate what touch does for people,” she says.

Missy Robinson, thinks people underestimate the power of touch. Picture: Adam Head

There’s a science to why a cuddleis so powerful. The University of Oxford’s evolutionary psychology researchers say cuddling not only offers social bonding but stress reduction and releases endorphins in the brain. Endorphins, researchers say, are 30 times more effective for pain relief than morphine.

Dr Zena Burgess, psychologist and CEO of the Australian Psychological Society, says that physical affection releases a hormone called oxytocin. “That’s the hormone called the love hormone,” she says.

The hormone slows down the heart rate, and reduces stress and anxiety.

“So it can be physical touch like a massage, cuddling, giving someone a hug or even hugging your dog,” she adds. “We all know that part of loneliness, particularly in aged care, is people don’t get touched a lot or hugged a lot and that reinforces a sense of isolation and loneliness.”

When you add this to the rising isolation of modern life, with one in three Australians now claiming to be lonely, it’s perhaps no surprise that professional cuddlers are on the rise.

And it’s not just one-on-one cuddles, ranging from $30 to $300 an hour. In the US, major cities are seeing monthly group events called the Cuddle Party, set up by professional cuddler Mary Sorenson.

Sorenson describes it as “a social event set up to allow people to experiment and explore intimacy, affection and touch, but in a non-sexual, safe and structured environment”.

In Tokyo, there’s a spike in cuddle cafes. One such place is Soineya cafe which offers
20-minute naps for ¥3000 ($29) and full 10-hour overnight cuddles for ¥50,000 ($490).

The cultural context here is particularly insightful. It’s been a growing trend for years that many people in Japan are turning away from intimate relationships.

One study, for instance, found 45 per cent of women and 25 per cent of men aged 16 to 24 are uninterested in or even averse to sexual contact. Living alone is increasingly common.

It’s a similar narrative we are seeing across the world. And while professional cuddlers explain that while they get female and male clients, most are elderly men and many are widowers.

But of course, is it really a therapy or sex work by another name?

“No,” says Missy Robinson.

As part of the pre-cuddle agreement, genitals and breasts are to be covered at all times and are strictly off limits for touching. Erections are ignored or covered with a pillow and cuddling therapists say that the cuddle has to be stopped for a little while until the man calms down.

“Always fully clothed. I have a special cuddle jumpsuit outfit I wear,” Robinson says.

Australian Psychologist Society Dr Zena Burgess. Picture: Supplied

Kylie is another professional cuddler. Like Robinson, she is firm that it’s not escort work or sexual.

“I just say, ‘Sorry, darling, if you are looking for that kind of thing you need to call an actual escort’.”

I meet Kylie in her public housing home in creek-side Ethelton, northwest of Adelaide. Kylie, 55, says she has been called Smilie Kylie since she was young.

“I guess what psychologists later told me is that I don’t have boundaries.

“Once someone fell asleep on my shoulder on a bus, I just let them stay there,” she says.

But for her, she says cuddling as been beneficial for her and her clients.

“Between covid, mobile phones and couples both having to work full-time I think a lot of people are missing out on touch.”

All her clients are men.

12/5/25. Kylie Starr is a professional cuddlist who found that despite her traumatic life of abuse and living in foster care, she was always the one people lean on - in more ways than one and now charges $80 an hour for cuddles. Picture: Keryn Stevens

“Many of these elderly people lost their partner and are so lonely. They leave the house once every two weeks to go shopping.

“Many of them I think feel they are just waiting to die,” she says.

Kylie charges $80 an hour for a cuddle session. The most common position for her is cuddling them from behind … people “open up … they tell me their story, they tell me why they are suffering”.

She believes touching can be healing. She shows me her three-page brochure. “One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.”

Cuddle therapy helps boost feel good hormones, and fights against loneliness. Picture: iStock

For long-running public servant Robert, in his Adelaide northeastern suburbs home,cuddling women as a male cuddler is very different to the work women cuddlers do.

Robert, 45, explains that “the women I see really fall into two distinct groups – those recovering from trauma, or trying to get comfortable with touch again.”

They’re largely domestic violence survivors but also single women or women who are in an unaffectionate relationship, he says.

“A lot of people stay in relationships for various reasons, even though the love and affection is gone,” he adds. He says his sessions are about chat, “not professional therapy” but more about “giving people his full attention”.

Kylie Starr is a professional cuddlist. Picture: Keryn Stevens

And the cost?

Well, Robert says he is aware that the standard rate is around $80 an hour.

“But I don’t charge that much. I have no idea if I could still attract clients if I charge that much. But given how many women I see who are victims of DV and are learning to trust again, the fact that they could even invite me into their home … I could not charge it. My fees are around $30-$40 mark.”

Dr Mary Kaspar is a clinical psychologistand adjunct senior research fellow at the University of New England. She points to one stunning fact: that research shows social disconnectedness can have the same mortality impact as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

“So there have been studies, you know, looking at elderly people and saying that they actually do report lower levels of loneliness and improved wellbeing after that physical touch, after that hug.”

Kaspar says that there is also “emerging evidence that it (affection) lowers cardiovascular activity. That it improves emotions such as anxiety in low moods even increasing, perhaps, tolerance for pain.”

She says that cuddle therapy makes perfect sense and something people should consider, providing it does “not replace evidence-based psychological advice”. ■

Originally published as How I went from PTSD to making $2000 a night cuddling men