How Elly-May Barnes is following in Jimmy Barnes’ footsteps
GROWING up with Jimmy Barnes as a dad made Elly-May Barnes the mum she is today. She reveals her hardest battle as a young girl was watching her dad struggle with his mental health.
Lifestyle
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BY her own admission, Elly-May Barnes has lived a charmed and largely sheltered life. She describes growing up with a behemoth of Australian music as completely normal — simply because she knows no different.
“I was always a daddy’s girl,” she tells BW Magazine. And indeed she is her father’s darling — doing backing vocals for Jimmy Barnes since she was 12 years old and continuing to perform with him throughout her career.
“He’s the best dad and singing with him is my favourite thing in the world,” she says.
The close bond between the father and daughter only strengthened after Elly-May and her husband Liam Conboy welcomed their son Dylan in 2014.
When her father heard cheeky little Dylan being called “G’Nu”, it prompted the release of a new album Och Aye the G’Nu, made in collaboration with superstar child band The Wiggles. And young Dylan is already walking in grandad’s footsteps.
He’s made his debut on stage at the ARIAs and has joined his mum and grandfather for performances of the latter’s Wiggles’ songs.
But aside from the singing sessions and joyful performances, growing up with Jimmy Barnes had its share of tough times too.
Today, she knows Jimmy as the doting grandparent, but Elly-May’s hardest battle as a young girl was watching her dad struggle with his mental health.
She recalls two sides to him — the happy and engaged father who immersed his kids into the beautiful world of music, and the struggling man who battled substance abuse, depression and attempted suicide.
“People find it hard to believe that funny people can be sad too,” she says.
She remembers the parties, the music and the international trips but also having a feeling that things weren’t always right with her dad. The extent of Jimmy’s health issues were only revealed many years later.
“We’re all so proud of him for speaking about it and seeing the people he has helped by sharing his own experiences,” Elly-May says.
Watching her father overcome his demons has encouraged her to follow his lead and become an advocate for Wellness Walk and R U OK? Day.
And Elly-May has had her own struggles too. She was born almost three months premature and suffered a brain haemorrhage that caused cerebral palsy.
But beyond the daily pain and the limp in her leg, there were other side-effects. Implications that most people, and Barnes herself, failed to see until she took herself off the painkillers.
Her father’s experience, coupled with her own, has put her in a unique position to talk about mental health.
“As a person with a disability, people often only focus on your physical inability and not the mental health issues that can follow … I had to accept that I will be in pain for the rest of my life,” Barnes says.
Now a parent herself, she recognises her family’s desire to protect her in those younger years. But when it comes to her son, Barnes is taking a different approach.
“He’s already getting educated on (mental health). The preschool he goes to is great, they had an R U OK? Day,” she says.
“Motherhood has been absolutely incredible … he’s my favourite person in the whole world.”
And it was motherhood that prompted her to take greater care of herself. Like all mums, she confesses to being exhausted, but her son has been the catalyst for pursuing a healthier lifestyle.
“You want to be healthy for them.”
October is Mental Health Month and Elly-May will be lending her support at the Wellness Walk tomorrow.
It aims to break the taboo around mental health and she will be in attendance, performing and speaking about her experiences.
“I also think walking and physical activity can be a great relief for stress and overall mental health,” she says.
And she’s making her mark in other fields too. After a break following the birth of her son, Barnes has been working on her own record. After years of being a regular performer in the Barnes family shows, she is now doing her own shows too.
“I want to take my time with it. I don’t want to rush anything,” she says.