The author, podcaster and wife of AFL player Jeremy Finlayson opens up to Body+Soul about the reality of being diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer at 25, and shares a life-saving message with every Australian.

Kellie Finlayson is many things. Proud mum to a three-year-old daughter Sophia, a dedicated wife to her husband, Port Adelaide AFL player Jeremy Finlayson, a successful podcaster, a debut author (more on that later), and a passionate advocate for raising bowel cancer awareness for one very personal reason – she was diagnosed with the disease at the age of just 25.

Kellie is searingly honest about the reality of living with a terminal illness. Her cancer isn’t curable. It’s not something she can overcome; it’s something she has to live with. 

Refusing to be defined by this devastating event, Kellie is so much more than her diagnosis but has dedicated herself to speaking openly about one of the country’s most common cancers and one that an estimated 15,542 Australians were diagnosed with last year alone. 

When introduced as ‘The Postergirl for Poo’ at a conference recently, she chuckled at the title and instantly embraced it. “Bowel cancer can be an uncomfortable and morbid topic of conversation, but they’re conversations we need to be having. So, if we can break the ice with a poo joke, let’s do it,” she says. “I don’t want to be remembered as the cancer girl, I want to be known as someone with a purpose; a woman who turned a shitty, devastating situation into a powerful movement.” 

That’s certainly how her husband, Jeremy, sees her. “I love how strong Kellie is. Even on shit days, she still rocks up. She doesn’t sit in the corner and sulk, even though she would have every right to,” the highly respected player says. “She’s the best mum to Sophia and the best wife you could ask for.”

When Kellie was diagnosed in 2021, the cancer was deemed Stage 4. There is no Stage 5. The couple’s daughter, Sophia, was just three months old. “Sophia has spent too much of her young life in and out of hospital with me,” admits Kellie, 29, who grew up in Port Lincoln and now lives in Adelaide. “I want to protect Soph at all costs, but there’s only so much I can shield her from when this is our reality. We are lucky that Soph is the world’s most resilient kid. She doesn’t know any different. If someone is sick or injured, she refers to them ‘being sick like Mummy’ or ‘going to the doctor like Mummy’.”

Kellie’s diagnosis came four years after she started experiencing stomach issues, including irregular bowel movements, and at times, blood in her stool. In 2020, a colonoscopy she had booked was cancelled due to the pandemic. She didn’t follow up on the appointment, because at the end of 2020, she happily discovered she was pregnant. After that, Kellie dismissed her symptoms as being side effects of pregnancy, and then, postpartum. 

It was Jeremy who finally encouraged her to see a doctor. A colonoscopy was scheduled for November 2021, but after Kellie was put under anaesthesia, the doctor discovered he couldn’t perform it. There was something blocking the camera’s passage. That something was a tumour, which had been growing for an estimated three or four years. 

“I have thought about what would have happened if I’d had the colonoscopy that was cancelled in 2020. Yes, they would have found the tumour sooner, but I wouldn’t have had Sophia. Without Sophia, I wouldn’t have had the same purpose: to live. My daughter gave me the strength to survive,” Kellie writes in her memoir, There Must Be More, which is out on Tuesday. 

The book is Kellie’s latest endeavour to raise awareness about bowel cancer, which has become the deadliest cancer for young people in this country. 

“I didn’t know that 15,500 people are diagnosed every year in Australia, until I became one of those people,” says Kellie, who is the co-host for the Sh!t Talkers podcast and an ambassador for the Jodi Lee Foundation. 

“I want people to know that cancer doesn’t discriminate, it doesn’t matter if you’re young, old, rich, poor, fit or not.” 

And there’s no doubt Kellie’s powerful message is resonating. So much so, Jeremy is now asked more about his wife, than his footy. “I’m super proud of the advocacy Kell’s doing and the lives she’s saving. Some guy came up to her on the street and told her he’d gotten checked for bowel cancer because of her, and they got it early,” says Jeremy, who proposed to Kellie at Henley Beach in Adelaide in mid-2022. 

Originally, they planned a spring wedding for October 2023. But just before Christmas in 2022, Kellie started experiencing shortness of breath. On Boxing Day, it was confirmed. Her cancer had spread. The colon cancer – which she had been undergoing treatment for, including chemotherapy, radiotherapy and a subsequent colostomy bag – had metastasized and was now in her lungs. After having more tests, Kellie’s then-oncologist recommended palliative care. 

Kellie had to explain to Jeremy what palliative care meant. “It means I go home, get comfortable, and wait to die,” she said, after the oncology appointment, in the car on the way to pick up Sophia from their friends’ house. Of course, she had zero intention of doing that. Kellie was getting a second opinion and finding a new oncologist. Dying simply wasn’t an option for her. 

Nonetheless, the palliative care recommendation was a blow, to both her and Jeremy. “It was the first moment in which Jeremy saw his life without me. He saw Sophia without her mum. He saw himself as a single parent. That’s all he could think of,” Kellie remembers, adding that Jeremy collapsed into tears when he walked inside their friends’ home on his own to get Sophia. 

“Jeremy had been confronted with my mortality before – when I was in ICU after my major surgery [in 2022], and he thought I was on my death bed – but he hadn’t pictured his life without me. This was the first time he was facing the reality of losing me.” 

The thought was devastating. Jeremy and Kellie decided they didn’t want to wait until October to marry. Deep down, they feared Kellie wouldn’t last 10 months. They cancelled their planned spring wedding. Kellie found a new oncologist and started a different, more aggressive, type of chemo. It was brutal – Kellie started to lose her hair – but it was a better alternative to palliative care. 

Kellie didn’t want to be a bald bride. But she still wanted to be a bride. She wanted to marry Jeremy and to have the same last name as her daughter. So, the couple rallied their inner circle to plan a simple ceremony with three weeks’ notice. On March 5, 2023, Kellie put on her strapless wedding dress and tried not to be self-conscious of the chemo port visible under her collarbone. 

“This should have been the happiest day of our lives, but it wasn’t,” she recalls. “Underneath the joy was a truth that we couldn’t escape, no matter how much we wanted to. As I stood facing Jeremy at the altar, the truth was there with us: my husband would soon be a widower.”

Two years after they exchanged their vows, not knowing how long she would get to be a wife for, Kellie is still standing. Against all odds. 

For the last four years she has shared her cancer journey on her social media accounts, her podcast and in media interviews – but there is something she has never spoken about before.

“Cancer is a thief. It steals time, moments and memories. The biggest thing cancer has taken from me, though, is my fertility,” reveals Kellie. “When I started chemo and radiotherapy in 2021, I was told I didn’t have time to go through the egg-retrieval process before starting treatment. I was three-months postpartum with Sophia and my period hadn’t come back yet, so I would have needed to wait for that to happen. I didn’t have time to wait.” 

Kellie and Jeremy always wanted to have three children together. She was one of two and he was one of four, so three was the magic number. Kellie’s life-prolonging cancer treatment put an end to those shared dreams. 

“Infertility in peak motherhood age is especially cruel,” says Kellie, who acknowledges how fortunate she is to have Sophia, but still mourns the loss of the other children she imagined would be part of her future.

“I have an intense sense of desperation, like my body wants to be pregnant, but it physically can’t be. The feeling of failure is excruciating,” she says. “Being infertile is something I haven’t come to terms with, and I don’t know if I ever will.” 

In July 2024, Kellie found herself standing in her kitchen with a woman from her hometown, Jeremy, and a syringe full of his sperm. After months of doing research, legal paperwork and psychological evaluations, Kellie and Jeremy were conducting their first insemination with the woman they hoped would be their surrogate. The couple had decided to go down the surrogacy route in the hope of giving Sophia a baby brother or sister. 

“I would have done anything to give Sophia a sibling,” says Kellie, who was in active treatment when they started looking into surrogacy. “People – strangers – have questioned how I can bring a new life into the world not knowing how much life I have left. It’s a fair question. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on whether it is selfish for me to want another child. Ultimately, I believe that giving Sophia a sibling is what’s best for our family. I don’t want my diagnosis to deprive her of that.” 

Every month, for seven months, Kellie, Jeremy and their surrogate went through the insemination process. They crossed their fingers and hoped to see a positive pregnancy test two weeks later. They decided to keep the whole thing a secret from their friends and family, until they had concrete news to share. The news never eventuated.  

At the start of this year, Kellie and Jeremy pressed pause on their surrogacy hopes. The emotional rollercoaster had taken a toll, and they couldn’t face another disappointment. Besides, Kellie was back in active treatment. 

The couple are now looking into fostering with the aim of adopting. “We are taking things day by day,” admits Kellie, who is still recovering from her recent lung resection, where a surgeon removed a number of mets (metastasis cancer cells) from her lung. “In a perfect life, we would be welcoming another baby to our family, but it isn’t a perfect life. Right now, I’m pouring my energy into Sophia and trying to make life as good as possible for her. She is my pride and joy, and my purpose.” 

 “My greatest message to others is to take your health seriously and advocate for yourself in the health system,” Kellie says of the legacy she wants to leave. “Trust your gut. You know your body best, listen to it and do what you need to take care of it.”

THE FACTS ON BOWEL CANCER

Get clued up with lifesaving information every Aussie should know, direct from Bowel Cancer Australia.

Fact: Bowel cancer is the deadliest cancer for Australians aged 25-44. 

“Bowel cancer is a worldwide epidemic, and Australia and New Zealand have the highest rates in the world. One in nine people diagnosed with bowel cancer are under the age of 50. The ‘Never2Young’ initiative was started by Bowel Cancer Australia to spark conversations and to advocate to lower the screening age to 40. It was previously 50, now it’s 45, which is a huge achievement,” says Bowel Cancer Australia spokesperson and colorectal surgeon, Dr Penelope De Lacavalerie. 

Fact: The risk of being diagnosed before the age of 40 has more than doubled since the year 2000. 

“When it comes to the rise in bowel cancer, there are non-modifiable risk factors (like a family history of bowel cancer or polyps) and modifiable factors such as our diet. We eat too much meat, we eat too little fibre, we drink too much alcohol, we don’t exercise enough. There is also research into too much exposure to antibiotics,” explains Dr De Lacavalerie of the possible reasons for the alarming increase in younger people. 

Fact: The most common symptoms of early-onset bowel cancer are blood in the stool, abdominal pain, altered bowel habits and unexplained weight loss.

“If you want to reduce your risk of developing bowel cancer and polyps, knowledge is power. Know the symptoms – as above – and know what’s normal for you, so you can define when there’s a change,” says Dr De Lacavalerie. “If you have any symptoms, advocate for yourself and ask for a colonoscopy. Early diagnosis means early treatment, and that means a better outcome.” 

For more information and resources visit bowelcanceraustralia.org

There Must Be More by Kellie Finlayson with Alley Pascoe (Allen & Unwin, $35) is out April 29.