How to quit dieting and make peace with food once and for all

According to three experts

• In this article

• The negative impacts of restrictive diets and over-exercising

• Listen to internal cues for healthier eating habits

• Practical tips from a GP, exercise physiologist and body-positive author

If you’re caught in the diet cycle, wondering why nothing is working, you’re not alone. Three experts share their tips for making peace with food and movement.

When I was a boutique fitness trainer, I would be asked nearly every single shift what I did to get my body. If I’d answered truthfully, I would have said, “It’s a mix of genetics, privilege and a thriving (and undiagnosed) eating disorder”. Obviously, no one wanted to hear that, so instead I would say, “I’m very strict with my nutrition” and leave it at that.

At the time, almost a decade ago now, I remember falling prey to every diet plan under the sun. I cycled through cleanses and ‘reboots’ monthly, I re-read and annotated Michelle Bridges’ Losing the Last Five Kilos like it was my bible, and everywhere I turned, I was met with reassurance that my dedication to dieting was the ultimate pursuit of wellness. 

It’s little wonder it took me years to discover that what I was doing (restricting and overexercising), constituted a diagnosable condition, anorexia nervosa, and it was costing me not only my health but my joy. And if left unchecked, it could come for my life. 

There is nothing healthy about ignoring hunger. There is nothing healthy about pushing your body to move when it’s telling you it doesn’t want to. And yet these practices are consistently prescribed to us and celebrated by the broader culture, all in the name of ‘health’. 

If, like me, you’ve tried everything you were told would bring you wellness, only to find yourself right back where you started, madly googling what to try next, you are not alone.

And if you’re over it, done, finished with punishing yourself for simply existing and ready to find peace and neutrality with food and movement, well, read on, because these three experts have not only been there and done that, but they’ve also dedicated their professional lives to helping others do the same.

Before we dive in, these tips are a beautiful jumping-off point, but all of our experts agree that it’s best to seek the support of a professional to help guide you in your journey. 

The General Practitioner

Dr Portia Predny is a Sydney-based GP specialising in weight-inclusive and gender-affirming medical care. 

#1. Find the right medical support

Dr Predny says many of her patients come to her after countless negative experiences in healthcare settings in the past.

“For a lot of patients, this includes discrimination by healthcare providers based on their size, such as seeing a doctor for an acute illness or injury, and instead of that being properly addressed or managed, that clinician will have spent most of their consult talking about the person’s weight,” she explains. 

“Apart from not addressing the patient’s concerns, this kind of experience  can cause feelings of guilt, shame and stigma, and can impact on a person’s feeling of safety in seeing medical practitioners in the future, which can in turn lead to delayed presentations of serious illnesses, and poorer health outcomes overall.”

This is why it can be helpful to seek support from healthcare professionals like Dr Predny, who are informed with a non-diet approach. You can find a range of such professionals registered at Size Inclusive Health Australia. 

#2. Understand the difference between health and weight

“The first key insight that I try to help my patients to understand, is that health and size are not the same thing,” says Dr Predny. “Despite the pervasiveness of diet culture trying to convince us that health LOOKS a certain way, the fact of the matter is that you absolutely cannot determine a person’s health based on their physical appearance.”

She goes on to explain that for those who are predisposed to living in a larger body, a focus on weight loss often results in behaviours that are decidedly unhealthy. Examples include caloric restriction, cutting out entire food groups, or becoming so focused on monitoring food intake that their mental health and quality of life decline. 

“In many cases, repeated attempts to lose weight lead to ‘weight-cycling’, with a progressive rise in weight over time,” she explains. “And in some people, this focus on weight leads to the development of serious and sometimes life-threatening eating disorders.”

#3. Swap weight loss goals for health goals

“I try to help my patients separate their health goals from arbitrary ideas or goals around weight loss. With the help of some fantastic non-diet and weight-inclusive dietitians, psychologists, and exercise physiologists, I work with patients to find out what are some key measures of health – aside from a number on a scale – that are important to them,” says Predny.

“These might be functional, e.g. ‘I want to be able to hike the Great North Walk’, or ‘I want to be able to deadlift 100kg’, or ‘I want to be able to walk to the bus stop without getting short of breath’. They might be clinical, e.g. ‘I want to reduce my risk of diabetes’, or ‘I want to better manage my PCOS’. Or they might be more general, such as having more energy, feeling less anxious or restricted around food, building a more positive relationship with their body, and improving their mental health.”

Dr Predny wants people to understand, “whatever might be their main goals or concerns, there are evidence-based approaches to treatment that don’t require a person to make weight loss their main focus.”

The exercise physiologist

Sarah Liz King is a Health At Every Size (HAES) exercise physiologist, certified intuitive eating counsellor and health coach. She’s passionate about helping women recover from eating disorders and disordered eating, compulsive exercise, and hypothalamic amenorrhea. 

#1. Give up the guilt

For those of us who find ourselves struggling with food or movement, the first thing King encourages is a release of any shame or guilt. “Much of our society is steeped in these unrealistic expectations of how our body should look, what foods we should or shouldn't eat and what counts as a workout,” she says. “Unlearning these unhelpful beliefs takes time and requires professional support so you can change your behaviours and adopt healthier mindsets.”

#2. No more comparison

“My second tip is to remove comparison because what YOUR body needs is unique,” says King. “This is easier said than done as we have more access than ever to ‘what I eat in a day’ videos, influencers who show their daily meals on their stories, and health vlogs.”

King explains that your body has been through a period of stress (yes, dieting and overexercising ARE stressors) then your body is going to need different amounts of nourishment. 

“This can often be confronting for people as it means including more energy-dense foods, which might challenge the ‘good versus bad’ food mentality,” she says. “It can also mean more frequent meals and snacks, and larger portions.” 

According to King, the goal is to eat enough to let your body thrive, not just survive.

#3. When it comes to exercise, go for quality over quantity 

As an exercise physiologist, King certainly knows what she’s talking about when it comes to movement. She teaches her clients, “More doesn't always equate to better. Exercise is a science and constantly overdoing it at the gym won't actually lead to better performance or results.”

She goes on to explain, “Much like the point of diminishing returns in a financial setting, there is this line that exists where continuing to do more and more actually ends up with your performance declining, more overuse injuries, increased fatigue, low mood and other signs of overtraining. Your exercise routine is only as beneficial as the rest and recovery you give your body so that it can adapt and get stronger for next time.”

King wants us to understand, “I've never met a single person who has regretted working towards food freedom and healing their relationship with exercise. It can take time and mental effort to get there, but the life that exists when you get to the other side is wildly better than you could ever imagine. Don't give up.”

The body-positive author

Shreen el Masry is a body-positive writer, personal trainer and intuitive eating counsellor who uses her own experiences recovering from anorexia nervosa to help her clients find peace with food and movement.

El Masry works on 6 key pillars with her clients: 

#1. Learn how to take care of yourself without dieting. Coming from a self-care and compassionate approach rather than self-control and punishment approach is key. 

#2. Educate yourself about the history of diet culture and its messages. Learn about the history of BMI, how health and weight are far more complex than food and exercise, the validity of fitness messages such as 10,000 steps per day and the idea that more exercise is better. Look into nutrition myths like the idea that sugar is addictive, carbs are bad for you etc.

#3. Exercising for nourishment, not punishment.

#4. Eat in a way that is nourishing and makes you happy through an intuitive eating approach.

#5. Work to build a positive body image.

#6. Focus on increasing health behaviours that don’t focus on weight loss through sleep, self-care, relationships, stress reduction, work-life balance, and emotional wellbeing.

When it comes to quitting dieting, El Masry says, “One of the best parts of being free from dieting is that it creates space in your life to focus on the things that truly matter to you. By breaking free, you also take your power back and that is the ultimate victory of all.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can reach out to the Butterfly Foundation helpline 24/7 on 1800 33 4673

Originally published as How to quit dieting and make peace with food once and for all