Cheatbones. Apparently, they’re a thing now, but they have use-by date

Just when you thought tattooed eyebrows were dumb, we now have a procedure that Gen Zs are embracing to streamline their faces.

Lea Michele’s Instagram shot. Picture: Supplied

Just when you thought tattooed eyebrows were the most foolish cosmetic procedure of all time, may I introduce you to cheek surgery.

This week, the alarming fad of buccal fat removal started trending on social media.

It transpires Gen Z are having procedures to streamline their nice plump cheeks and beef up their jawlines, instead.

At this point, the collective intake of breath from everyone aged over 40 would be enough to cause a tsunami.

I cannot stress this highly enough – do not have a surgical procedure to suck the fat out of your cheeks, or you’ll be pumping it back in again via expensive fillers, in a few years.

It’s not a new thing – Chrissy Teigen admitted to having it done – but it is trending now, after Lea Michele posted a selfie on Instagram with extremely contoured cheeks.

Social media was abuzz with speculation over who has and hasn’t had their cheeks done. The rise in popularity of the procedure is, apparently, down to people looking at themselves on Zoom all day.

Talk about the blindness of youth, refusing to see that fashions will inevitably change and you too will get old. Ironically, this is the one area of your body you should be delighted has excess chub, because if you are blessed with round cheeks, then Older You has basically won the looks-lottery. You might not like those cherubic cheeks now, when you’re young, but you’ll adore them as the years fall away and they don’t – they’re your secret anti-ageing weapon.

As Catherine Deneuve famously said, “It’s your derrière or your visage” as you age, or in less poetic terms, your “arse vs your face”. She’s right — I had big cheeks when I was younger and now I’m older, I’ve got big everything, so, well, maybe I’m not a good example. Seriously, though, if you suck that cheek fat out in your twenties, you’ll look like Skeletor by your fifties. I cannot emphasise it enough – pay to have your cheeks contoured and you’ll be paying for that decision forever.

Nobody likes to watch themselves get old – I would describe my reaction to my reflection most days as, “mild dismay.” But ageing comes to everyone, so the least you can do is try not to actively make things worse while you’ve still got gravity on your side.

There are alternatives to creating cheat-bones – what happened to that make-up contouring fad, so beloved by the Kardashians? What happened to Facetune? (I’ve never been so disappointed as when my friend recently Facetuned a photo of me, then cruelly undid it and I crashed back to reality). What happened to common sense?

Fashions change and the last thing you want to do is commit to a look – whether it’s thick black tattooed eyebrows or Disney Coco cheeks, you can’t reverse.

You wait, worse than trends going out of fashion is when you get so old you see them come back in again – hello 1990s bucket hats – and realise you’d look silly wearing them a second time.

Trust me, cheeks are good. So this festive season, feed your face and futureproof yourself. You’re worth it.