‘Just knew that she was the one’ Adelaide couple Sarah and Tom Starkey share how surrogacy gave them miracle baby

After a chronic illness and multiple miscarriages, an Aussie couple have welcomed their miracle baby – sharing their emotional journey to parenthood.

Savannah Emily-Joan Starkey is a miracle baby five years in the making.

At just three days old and weighing eight pounds, Savannah is the picture of newborn perfection.

But for Park Holme couple Sarah and Tom Starkey the journey to parenthood had been anything but easy.

After being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease at the age of 13 and having subsequent surgeries, Mrs Starkey knew she and her husband would struggle to conceive.

Surrogate Emily with Sarah and Tom Starkey and new baby Savannah Emily-Joan Starkey at their home. Picture: Kelly Barnes

In her 20s, the now 39-year-old had ileostomy surgeries to replace her large bowel with a stoma bag and remove her rectum.

Savannah Emily-Joan Starkey was welcomed into the world on December 28. Picture: Supplied

“Those surgeries have caused a lot of issues with infertility because of adhesions and my anatomy sort of dropped and fallen back,” she said.

Mr Starkey said to support each other throughout their journey to parenthood, the couple allowed each other “to feel what we were feeling”.

“We’re both very strong, emotional people,” he said.

In 2020, the couple started in vitro fertilisation but over the course of six rounds of IVF, Mrs Starkey suffered three miscarriages.

“It’s always … what was that little person going to be like? We will always remember those little people,” she said.

“I’d love to carry our child. I would love to have done that but that was taken away (from) me when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease.

“I went to see a colorectal surgeon last year to see if I could potentially have some sort of surgery to fix (the issues caused by earlier surgeries) and they said that it was too high risk and that wouldn’t be safe.”

Mrs Starkey, a nurse and a passionate ambassador for Crohn’s and Colitis Australia, said this also meant she would be unable to carry a pregnancy.

Emily answered Sarah and Tom’s call to act as a surrogate after that the couple put out an emotional plea on social media. Picture: Supplied

But instead of more grief, she said the news came as a relief.

“I think I’d done all my grieving,” she said.

“That’s when the idea of surrogacy was presented to us because of my health history.”

It was after that the couple put out an emotional plea for a surrogate on social media in a video that was met with an outpouring of support — and an answer to their call.

When the couple connected with Adelaide mum Emily a year ago, Mrs Starkey said she “just knew that she was the one”.

Tearing up, she said Emily “just fit into our life so perfectly. “

From there, she said it wasn’t “just a friendship” it was “love”.

Sarah’s ability to carry a child was “taken away” from her when she was diagnosed with Chrohn’s disease. Picture: Supplied

Surrogacy in Australia must be altruistic but the finer details are governed by a patchwork of rules that vary by jurisdiction.

In South Australia, women don’t need to have their own children before becoming a surrogate but Emily already had a son and daughter when she made the decision to carry a baby for the couple.

“When I was really sure that I didn’t want any more children, I still found it a little bit sad to let go of the pregnancy experience and that’s when I started thinking about surrogacy,” she said.

Emily joined surrogacy social media pages but it was when she saw an acquaintance share the Starkeys’ video that she knew this was “something I could actually do”.

“Sarah in particular reminded me of one of my closest in-laws as well as my partner’s mum who unfortunately passed away a few years before,” she said.

She and her partner met with the couple shortly after.

“We walked away after breakfast and my partner said: let’s do it,” she said.

“From then on, it was just so easy.”

“It was smooth and same with the birth. You never know what you’re going to have with the birth and as it got closer that was my biggest worry, I’ve got my own children to get to and we want to get Savannah safe.

“Thankfully it was just another picture perfect part of the experience.”

Savannah Emily-Joan Starkey was named partly in honour of Emily. Picture: Supplied

After nearly a year of legal paperwork, obstetrician appointments, tests and scans, the three of them welcomed baby Savannah Emily-Joan Starkey — named partly in honour of Emily — on December 28.

“That minute Emily birthed her was just pretty amazing,” Mrs Starkey said, adding that they were grateful to the mum of two.

“We were crying the whole time.”

Mrs Starkey said her message to others struggling to conceive was “don’t give up”

“I think don’t give up is our number one motto,” she said.

Originally published as ‘Just knew that she was the one’ Adelaide couple Sarah and Tom Starkey share how surrogacy gave them miracle baby