Why Alex Nation is looking for love — again — on reality TV
After going on The Bachelor, Alex Nation felt like the most hated woman in Australia. The 27-year-old single mother reveals why she is putting herself back out there in Bachelor In Paradise, and what it felt like to meet up again with her ex Richie Strahan.
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After her appearance on The Bachelor three years ago, Alex Nation felt like the most reviled woman in Australia.
Complete strangers, via social media, told her she should kill herself and put her son up for adoption because she was clearly such a bad mother.
So why on earth is the 27-year-old single mother putting herself through all that again?
Nation, who was chosen by Richie Strahan in the 2016 season of The Bachelor ahead of fan favourite Nikki Gogan — and then famously split from him — signed up to appear on the second season of Bachelor In Paradise.
In one of the most highly anticipated storylines on the reality TV show this year, Nation finds herself face-to-face with her ex who she hadn’t seen or spoken to in more than a year.
“I was obviously nervous about the prospect of seeing familiar faces,” the bubbly blonde tells BW Magazine.
“To be honest, I didn’t think (Richie) would give (Bachelor In Paradise) a go, so I was surprised when I saw him on there.
“But I do feel I needed some closure and I needed some answers and I’m sure he did too. It’s always daunting when you see your ex in public for the first time, but it’s worse when it’s on national TV. I will say that I definitely left happy that he was there and that we could talk.”
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The Bachelor spin-off series will feature more than a dozen Bachelors and Bachelorettes from past seasons.
The more relaxed tropical island vibe is a smokescreen for the drama, tears, confrontations and simmering tensions that exist between the contestants, many of whom know each other from past seasons.
Going into the series, Nation was open about her quest to find love, with either a woman or a man.
She has been open about her bisexuality since she split with Strahan and later found love with Melbourne woman Maegan Luxa — to whom she became engaged before they broke up just a few months later.
Nation has even said in pre-show interviews that she found Brooke Blurton, from Nick “The Honey Badger” Cummins’ series of The Bachelor, attractive and wanted to get to know her “in a romantic sense”.
“I went into Paradise and the first conversation with Osher was ‘Well Alex, you’ve been busy’ and he started talking about my sexuality,” she says with a laugh.
“I don’t like to put a label on my sexuality, I’m just Alex. But Brooke is someone I really wanted to see in Paradise, she was definitely at the top of my wish list.”
If Nation is nervous about how the public will respond to her this time around, she doesn’t show it.
In fact, one of the reasons she agreed to appear on this season was that she wanted to show Australia who the real Alex was.
“I was labelled a stage five stalker (on The Bachelor) and the psycho music would play in my clips,” she says, laughing good-naturedly.
“For whatever reason, I became an easy target.
“When I was in the mansion, I felt like it was all butterflies and rainbows and in the finale, I was on cloud nine. Then I came out and started doing the interview rounds and Kyle and Jackie O say ‘So, how does it feel to be the most hated woman in Australia?’
“There was all this stuff about how I had robbed Nikki of the opportunity to find love … and how I had dumped my disabled ex-boyfriend to chase fame, when in actual fact he had broken up with me.
“It was hard and I did struggle a little with mental health at the time and my Mum was really worried about me. But I went to speak to a psychologist who told me I could ring her day or night.
“I’m a much stronger person as a result of all that and I learnt so much about myself.”
While Nation has come out the other side a stronger person, sadly not all former reality TV contestants can say the same. In the UK two former Love Island contestants, Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis, have committed suicide.
It was reported both suffered poor mental health following their appearance on the show.
In the US, more than 20 reality TV show contestants have taken their own lives from 2004, including three from the US version of The Bachelor.
The debate rages over whether they are the victims of the disposable nature of reality TV, or whether people with fragile mental health are more drawn to the genre.
Clinical psychologist Amanda Gordon believes it’s the former.
“Reality TV will attract people with a level of fragility and vulnerability,” the Armchair Psychology director says.
“It can be a dangerous game. Contestants go into it appearing to know what they are up for, they sign forms and say they understand. No doubt they have also seen previous seasons and how some contestants are perceived. They may think it will be different for them, they will have a better outcome.
“But the reality can be so different.”
Deakin University associate professor Sean Redmond says reality TV series, like all shows, are designed to chase ratings through drama, which he says is one of the oldest forms of storytelling.
“The whole aesthetics of these shows creates these dramatic battles: close-ups, reaction shots, heightened music and a camera that seems to be able to film supposedly secret moments,” he says.
“We are offered the spectacle of human drama and the faux intimacy of seeing these lives and loves grow or burn. It is addictive.
“Having said that, in the race for ratings one can argue we are racing towards the bottom, to the lowest common denominator, with each new series needing to outplay the last. How far or how low can we go seems to be the question driving reality TV.”
Nation, who refers to herself as being “functionally dysfunctional” is using her negative experiences post-Bachelor and her subsequent growth to help girls navigate the often uncertain teenage years.
She goes into high schools and chats with girls about social media, bullying, self image, making goals and the importance of simply being nice to each other.
She doesn’t do it from a position of professional expertise, rather she draws from her own experiences.
“I tell them about the 10 worst things that have been said to me. They include one woman who told me I should kill myself, and even included a step-by-step guide,” she says.
“Then there was another who said I should put my son up for adoption, that he’s better off without me. I tell them this so they can see how powerful their words can be, that their words can be final, especially if you’re saying this to someone who is already in a dark place.”
* Bachelor In Paradise, Tuesday, 7.30pm, Ten.
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