Decoding teen talk: What your kids are really saying
Should you be worried if your child calls you a goat? Do you know what SMH or WUD means? It’s time to get up to speed on teen speak and find out what your children are talking about.
Teens
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Teenagers are not universally known for their communication skills. You may catch the odd grunt in response to a question. If you’re lucky you may hear them in animated conversation with their friends — but don’t count on being able to understand them.
Just like every generation before them, young people today are adept at creating their own glossary of words. But what makes today’s kids unique is that their language has been heavily influenced by technology.
One of the most common factors influencing teen talk is the art of abbreviating whole phrases into one word. Parents may recognise the common (and sadly now way out of date) acronym LOL to mean laugh out loud or IDK for I don’t know.
But do you know what GOAT means? Or SMH? And it’s not just acronyms that are commonly used. Teenagers typically like to shorten common words, probably to make digital messaging and captioning more efficient.
Obvious examples even parents will know include “cray” to mean crazy, “sup” to mean what’s up and “v” for the ultimate shortening of the word very.
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There are descriptive words, such as “salty” for being upset or angry, “extra” for over the top behaviour, and “basic” for something that is mainstream or not special.
Teen expert and author Marina Passalaris says a secret language that adults find confusing is not only fun for teenagers, but important. It helps teens bond and knowing how to use it is a social currency that allows them to be accepted.
“Teenagers love to be unique in the way they express themselves,” Passalaris tells BW Magazine.
“Their language includes complex acronyms, clever innuendo and code words, there are so many layers to the way teens talk today.
“Slang, as always, helps teens be accepted and keep parents in the dark. When you think about it, they’re so desperate to gain control because they are so close to being adults but are not there yet and language gives them an edge.”
While parents may want to throw their hands up in the air and wave the white flag of defeat when it comes to deciphering teen talk, Passalaris says they need to stay on board if they want to understand and communicate better with their child.
By this, she doesn’t suggest you adopt the cool slang of their inner circle — this would be sure-fire social suicide in their eyes. But she does recommend parents try to keep up to date on what words mean so they can be alert to any potential dangers.
Passalaris, who provides teen confidence and self-esteem-boosting programs through her company Beautiful Minds, says it’s not easy when phrases pass from cool to uncool at the swipe of a screen. But being informed is important.
She says phrases and terms that should raise a red flag to parents include “9” which is a code to quickly tell a friend a parent is listening; “smash” to mean casual sex; “it’s 420” for marijuana and — most worrying of all — the acronym NIFOTC to mean naked in front of the computer.
“Parents need to take an interest and listen to their kids,” Passalaris says.
“A way in can be to ask the meaning of harmless words or acronyms to let them know you’re interested. And for the harsher meanings, we have Google.”
Ashley Fell, a social researcher at McCrindle, says the people using this language — Generation Z, who are aged 10 to 24 — are our current school students and emerging workforce, the digital integrators of our society.
“What originated as tech speak has permeated into conversation,” she says.
“It seems that, as with most things, popular culture and digital influencers can make a word or phrase popular with a single post. Think of people like the Kardashian-Jenners or Justin Bieber who have millions of followers on social media. If they say something it is picked up and moves into the mainstream very quickly.”
She says this generation is more social than any before it and more influenced by their peers. This increases the need to belong through a unique way of speaking.
But that sense of belonging does not extend to older generations, Fell says.
“It is their language that binds them but when older generations use it, they’re shocked and embarrassed — even if it’s used in the correct context” she says with a laugh.
“What is unique to this generation is that this language is taken out of adolescence and into the workplace. And that is when we see the generation gap widening because young workers will use language or phrases in the workplace their older colleagues may not understand.”
A concern for years has been that children who grow up using acronyms and abbreviations may lose their grasp of English. But Monash University linguistics lecturer Dr Simon Musgrave says that is not the case.
“Research done five years ago by Dr Nenagh Kemp at the University of Tasmania looked at the effects of kids using texting to communicate,” he says.
“And she found kids who use text did not necessarily lack knowledge. In fact they found their ability to be creative with the English language meant they had a better grasp of it.”
Dr Musgrave adds kids are aware that “text speak” has its place.
“Kids work out very quickly which registers are appropriate for which situation,” Dr Musgrave says.
“Which is why you will see kids who clearly know swear words but know not to use them around their grandparents, for instance.”
Dr Musgrave says what he finds much more “interesting and exciting” is kids’ use of emojis and gifs.
“They are great at integrating images and language in different ways,” he says.
“They can communicate quite successfully in their own way.”
Charlie Parker, 13, and sister Lilli, 15, enjoy the fact their parents often don’t know what they’re talking about.
“We use slang more when we’re texting than talking,” Charlie says.
“I’ll text mum something like WUD and she’ll write back ‘What’s that mean?’ It makes me laugh.”
For all those parents in the same boat as Charlie’s mother, WUD means what you doing?
And if you’re still wondering, GOAT stands for greatest of all time — it’s actually a compliment.
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When Sydney teen Mia Hing is annoyed or angry she’ll say she’s feeling “salty” and when she wants to find out the latest gossip from friends, she will beg them to give her “the tea”.
If you’re older than 25, chances are you may not know what she’s talking about. But among her friends, it’s the accepted language.
“Everyone my age, it seems, talks like this,” the 17-year-old says.
“We use it when we’re chatting with each other, in social media, when we’re texting, just all the time. It’s all Gucci if something is good, or it’s salty if we’re angry or annoyed — it’s just the accepted way to speak.”
Hing, who is in Year 12, says teen talk wasn’t as widespread when she was younger and speculates it was probably because social media wasn’t as pervasive.
“I wasn’t on social media so much when I was in primary school,” she says.
“And I would say these words come from social media, that’s why everyone uses them. If someone like a Kardashian starts using a word or a phrase, it will spread, and especially YouTubers.
“If they’re speaking in a certain way and they’re popular, it will get picked up. But it’s not like you have to use these words — if someone doesn’t, they’re not excluded or anything, it’s not like that. For us, it’s really just a fun way to express ourselves.”
What is fun, Mia admits, is seeing her parents struggle with teen language.
“When it comes to memes, my parents just don’t get it,” she laughs.
“My sister Georgia and I try to explain to them that it’s a picture with a funny sentence, but they just don’t get it, it’s so funny.”
And while teen talk may be widespread, Mia says they know when not to use it.
“If we’re talking to our parents or writing in class, we won’t say something is lit, for example,” she says.
“It’s like everyone just knows when it’s appropriate to use.”