James Weir recaps SAS Australia 2021: The reunion

A racy comment from Sam Burgess during a TV chat caught everyone off guard. Making things more awkward, he repeated it. James Weir recaps.

The bizarre and repeated mention of an X-rated act startles everyone during Wednesday night’s SAS Australia reunion, with the episode giving a candid insight into how disgraced footy star Sam Burgess dug deep and came out on top as the show’s only rimmer.

Wait. Sorry. Winner. The show’s only winner.

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“This is an open and honest conversation,” the soldiers explain as the celebrities arrive for the reunion, sitting down on old tractor tyres and rusty barrels in the abandoned shed they inhabited for two weeks on the military course.

Indeed. Tonight’s conversation gets extremely open and honest. Perhaps a little too open and honest. We’re looking at you, Samuel Burgess.

This debrief is the perfect opportunity for all our celebrities to reflect on the experience and share their personal thoughts without judgment.

Tennis pro Mark Philippoussis kicks things off with some really considered musings about his own personal journey.

“I gained confidence and I then mentally got stronger as well, and peeling back those layers – so many (layers) I peeled back every single day-”

“There’s no more onion left, brother,” Olympic sprinter John Steffensen mocks Mark’s seemingly endless peeling of the proverbial onion.

Mark’s humiliated in front of the class. He sinks in his chair and wraps up his spiel. “Anyway, thanks for the opportunity,” he mumbles.

Seconds later, when John’s called upon to give his presentation to the class, he’s not prepared. So he steals Mark’s homework.

“ Ah … well … you know … the f**kin’ layers and ... the onions,” he ventures.

Mark turns around in his chair from the front row and interrupts. “Oh, it’s OK for you to say that but if I f**kin’ say that-”

The soldiers intervene and break it up. Both boys are given detention. Partly because of the disruptive behaviour. But mainly for plagiarising the onion metaphor from Shrek.

We call upon Brynne Edelsten, who was the first recruit to quit the course just a few hours into the competition. She’s had a long time to ponder her abrupt exit and probably has a lot of learnings she’d like to share with the group.

“It was … hard?” she shrugs.

Thanks for the contribution.

The SAS Australia course is a unique experience – one that tests both physical and mental strength. To quote the always inspiring Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain box, you only get out what you put in. For the celebrities, the lessons they learn on this course can be life changing. Just ask TV chef Manu.

“I had a poo with The Pou,” he shares. “And I will cherish that for the rest of my life.”

See? It’s what this show is all about.

Of course producers play us the flashback footage.

Speaking of things that were horrifying to watch, the controversial boxing challenge is raised. Particularly the fight that pitted 31-year-old athlete Jessica Peris against 56-year-old volleyball champ Kerri Pottharst. The violence of the match sickened the celebrities on the sidelines as well as the viewers at home.

“I hated it. You were squealing, Kerry, and getting belted and I hated listening to that,” recalls tennis legend Alicia Molik, who quit the competition after being forced to box with Olympian Jana Pittman. “I just hated every second of the fighting and the emotion completely overwhelmed me and I just opted out.”

The soldiers recall it a little differently.

“We did enjoy this one,” one nods at the memory of the boxing bloodbath.

“Best one we had,” another smiles softly with a twinkle in his eyes.

Physical challenges aside, one of the hardest things for the celebrities to experience was the minimal daily meals of basic rations. Exhausted and starving, they relied on the small amounts of food to refuel. Sam Burgess reveals just how desperate he was for the scraps.

“In my food bowl every day I would … rim it out, basically,” he shares.

Sorry … what? Sam’s thick accent does sometimes make it hard to understand what he’s saying. Maybe we misheard-

“And I’d rim … I’d rim Steff’s out as well,” he adds, giving sprinter John Steffensen a knowing look.

OK. He definitely said what we thought he said. Never gonna look at a bowl the same way again, but whatever.

An appropriate reaction to Sam’s confession.

Awkward laughter fills the room. No one quite knows how to address Sam’s comments. Manu’s so uncomfortable by the colourful description that he covers his face with his hands. And that’s saying something: the man just bragged on TV that the pinnacle of his entire life was sitting on the can next to Mark Philippoussis.

Well then. What we know for sure is that Sam worked hard and possessed the impressive skills required to successfully finish the course. And, as they say: rimmers are grinners.

Twitter, Facebook: @hellojamesweir

That’s a bowl-eatin’ grin.

Originally published as James Weir recaps SAS Australia 2021: The reunion