Married At First Sight: The seven things we have learnt from car crash reality TV

IT’S the car-crash show which has brought fans together but divided the contestants. And while Married At First Sight raises some serious questions about the “experts” who matched the desperate and dateless using “science”, there are nevertheless some lessons to be learnt — about what NOT to do in a marriage.

IT’S the car-crash show which has brought fans together but divided the contestants.

And while Married At First Sight raises some serious questions about the “experts” who matched the desperate and dateless using “science” (such as sniffing each other’s shirts for pheromones), there are nevertheless some lessons to be learnt — about what NOT to do in a marriage.

Dr Michael Carr-Gregg says car-crash TV such as Married At First Sight surprisingly teaches us a few things. Picture: Supplied

Leading psychologist Michael Carr Gregg said the show — which averages about 1.5 million viewers a night — is the “psychological sewer of TV” but there are a few things it teaches us.

“That looks are not everything,” Dr Carr Gregg told The Daily Telegraph.

“That the single greatest feature you should look for in a partner is kindness. People need to remember to consider what is important to them in a partner.”

With a recent UK study revealing the odds of a person getting married at all have fallen to their lowest level in almost 150 years, it might be wise to take heed.

1. Force a cheater to confess, confess, confess

Get it out of them, whether it’s you confronting them or making your parents grill your other half. Picture: Channel Nine

Like the priestess in Game Of Thones, Tracey rightfully punishes Dean by making him walk the streets of her native Perth confessing his sins. Dean faces up to various horrified members of Tracey’s posse and even her extremely understanding elderly parents. Nothing shows your husband is truly ready to commit to your marriage than facing an irate father-in-law and describing exactly what led him to infidelity.

2. Keep the home fires by making an effort in the kitchen

The way to a man and probably woman’s heart is food. Picture: Supplied

Troy had Ashley’s heart racing with his self-dubbed “pasta a la Troy” — a barely edible approximation of spag bol without any actual spaghetti. He followed up this concoction with a palpitation-inducing dish of scrambled eggs, which was almost his downfall when he failed to differentiate between butter and brie while heating up the pan.

3. Involve your other half in your favourite hobbies — no matter how undignified he looks trying to mount a horse

Try to enjoy the other person’s hobby — even if it makes you look like an idiot. Picture: Channel 9

What better way to bond with your lifelong mate than to give him the ride of his life. Gabrielle’s hubby Nasser squealed with joy as he swung a leg over a steed for the first time.

Dean also tried to excite Tracey with his love of skateboarding. She was not impressed but we hear someone more on Dean’s level — her eight-year-old daughter — entertains his childish hobby.

4. Just order in and watch TV

Avoid people, just order food in. Otherwise it could lead to some cheating. Cough, cough, Dean. Picture: Channel Nine

Dinner parties should be left in the 1980s when you knew the host had gone to a lot of effort if they had more than one type of vol au vent for appetiser. In modern society, inviting a group of your newlywed friends for dinner and light conversation will only lead to your man sexting one of your girlfriends, a la Dean and Davina, and slagging off your apartments’s decor (thanks to Nasser’s big mouth we were made aware Gabrielle’s apartment was haunted) and by the end of the night you’ll be lucky if you all escape alive.

5. Treat them mean, keep them keen

Treat them mean, keep them keen. It has worked before, take for example, Telv and Sarah. Picture: Supplied

The experiment has proven that not having sex immediately but doing “everything but” might be the secret to success at least for Sarah and Telv — the latter who pumped his fist into the air with pride after his wife announced they “had sex” via a toast at a dinner party. Although talking to other people about your lack of sex a la Troy and Ashley is bad, very bad.

6. It’s time to take chivalry off life-support

For Troy, his looks come first before his lady. Picture: Supplied

The days of car door opening and paying the bill may be near-dead in a modern feminist world, but the common courtesy of not bagging your wife out to your mates, or having respect for her time is a challenge for some blokes.

If you’re irritated by your man being 10 minutes late home from work when dinner is on the table, remember there are men out there who will make you wait at the door for him to do a few push-ups to maintain his buff bod, or who can’t pass a panel of glass without coiffing his hair — thanks for that reality check Troy.

7. The secret to success is having seemingly zero in common

Rather than finding someone with the same interests, find someone who you don’t share anything in common with. Picture: Justin Lloyd

On the surface, fan favourites and standout lovebirds Telv and Sarah appeared to be the most unlikely of matches. In a moment reminiscent of a scene in indy movie Best In Show, it would not be surprising to hear Telv and Sarah come out with the line “We both like soup”.

Even the shows “experts” must have been sceptical about this one. But the newlyweds have gone to prove that in matters of the heart, science is unreliable.