Let’s see Honey Badger sweat on The Bachelor
THAT’S not a man, this is a man! Move over Tim Robards, Sam Woods and Matthew ‘Matty J’ Johnson, there’s one major reason why women won’t have to fight their partners for the remote when they tune into Honey Badger as our latest Bachelor.
Confidential
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THERE’S one rule that Channel Ten’s newest Bachelor Nick Cummins lives by — “never corner a honey badger”.
He’s declared that very mantra on his Instagram bio, written it on his Twitter page and reminded his fans in the last line of the synopsis of his 2015 book.
Bachelorettes, you’ve been warned.
Holy tomorrow. How good. You bloody beauty. I look forward to watching 20 plus desperate dateless (and possibly drunk) women testing out that theory when they’re accosting him for some “one-on-one time” at the cabana in the corner of the compulsory cocktail parties.
Often referred to as “the most Aussie bloke ever” — Cummins is also the king of the one-liners.
No doubt he’ll be “sweating like a gypsy with a mortgage” while the cocktail party will be “going off like a bag of cats”. (They’re just two examples of the kind of Aussie vernacular and quotable quotes we can look forward to when Cummins makes his dating show debut).
Hopefully though, we won’t see him “bagging a bit of meat in the corner there, which was tops!” - another of his most famous rugby anecdotes.
As far as Channel Ten’s choice for Australia’s most eligible man, is rugby larrikin Nick Cummins unconventional? Yes. Unexpected? Absolutely. But will he make unreal television? You bet.
Unlike the succession of Ken dolls Ten has served up previously — more looks than personality — (Richie Strahan anyone? I mean, the guy’s still single and his chosen Bachelorette Alex Nation is now happily engaged to a woman called Maegan. That doesn’t bond well for the franchise does it?) Cummins has never been someone to take himself too seriously.
After the initial shock that a curly-haired Tradie Underwear-sporting loveable larrikin is set to be passed the rose baton from the succession of bulked-up hunks (ie. Tim Robards, Sam Woods and Matthew ‘Matty J’ Johnson) women are now rejoicing that they may finally not have to fight their boyfriends and husbands for the remote when the dating show hits screens.
“That’s bloody gold,” said my husband at the news of Cummins being anointed as the Bachelor. “I’d watch that!”
Happy wife. Happy Wednesday and Thursday nights in our house. Cheers Channel Ten.
The quest for more male viewers to add to the franchise’s legion of devoted female fans is the very reason Ten took a punt on the Port Macquarie-born “bogan”.
It’s a move that is possibly best summed up by the Badger himself after Matty J’s turn as “The Bach” .
“Last year we were all sizzle and no steak, but now we’re off like a bride’s nightie.”
