How to attend the Brownlow with eight hours notice

AFTER thinking they’d have a year off, Haylea Cooney found out this morning she and her past winner husband Adam were going to the Brownlow. This is how it unfolded.

“WAKE up babe … your hair and make-up is booked for 4pm, your parents are having the kids and I have a number for you to call for a dress... we’re going to the Brownlow!”

This was my wake-up call at 8.55am this morning (I love school holidays!).

Adam had been out last night for a Bulldogs reunion so my first thought was: “He is still drunk.”

“I’m serious,” he assured me.

BROWNLOW MEDAL RED CARPET LIVE

Haylea and Adam Cooney walk the red carpet at last year’s Brownlow Medal count. Picture: Wayne Ludbey

ADAM COONEY: MY BROWNLOW ADVICE FOR DUSTY

After a quick call to my sister to confirm (she is a hair and make-up artist who Adam had “booked me” in with), it was mad panic at the Cooney house.

Let’s rewind 24 hours.

Seeing Sunday’s paper with the gorgeous girls showing off designer gowns, my Instagram feed popping up photos of jewellery and shoes that would be on show and my Facebook memories of the last Brownlows Adam and I had attended, I felt this feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I think millennials call it FOMO, or fear of missing out.

Adam and Haylea Cooney attending the 2015 Brownlow Medal. Picture: Michael Klein.

I text Adam: Why aren’t we going to the Brownlow?

His response: I don’t know, it was your idea?

My reply: Ermmm no it wasn’t. It was yours?!?

This went on for about 10 minutes.

We went back and forth on who’s idea it was for us to have a “gap year”.

We both assumed we wouldn’t be sitting with anyone we knew, given Adam was no longer a part of a team.

15 YEARS OF BROWNLOW MEDAL FASHION

Haylea Cooney on learning of the evening's plans. Picture: Adam Cooney

Haylea Cooney ready to rock the Brownlow. Picture: Adam Cooney

That’s what makes the night: having a table full of your mates, having a laugh and enjoying a drink together.

Anyway, back to this morning.

I lay in bed wondering if my spray tan from last Thursday was enough (it actually isn’t) and regretted the large McChicken meal I smashed on Saturday night on the way home from a few wines with my girlfriends.

After realising I had been dieting for six weeks prior to the night in previous years, I was in panic mode.

Could I get a dress, nails, hair & make up all organised in eight hours?!

Fairest of all: Best Brownlow fashion

VIEW GALLERY

Hell yes I could!

Adam and I can completely miss the red carpet this year and no one would blink an eye.

I’ve never been up there with the glamorous WAGs, I’ve never been into fashion and even made it onto a worst-dressed list in 2008.

Especially now Adam isn’t even playing, there is no pressure on me.

My next-door neighbour, trusty sidekick and Brownlow dress do-er-up-er-rer for the past 10 years, Karen got a phone call to come and help me pre-pare for the day.

Nuggets as prepared by chef Cooney.

I left Adam home with five kids (ours plus add-ons) and we headed out to South Yarra.

A two-minute car trip took us an hour and 10 minutes. Where else in Australia could you get stuck in traffic at 1pm on a Monday?

I sweated off the remainder of Thursday’s tan in the process (another trip I had to make: Coles for tanning foam).

I was meant to be bringing home lunch for the kids but ran out of time. Luckily chef Cooney whipped up some nuggets and chips out of the freezer for himself and the kids.

Fast-forward eight hours, my nails and hair done.

As I write this I’m getting my make-up done with a champers in hand.

Thank goodness for the new trend of dress hire stores, with the girls at Style Theory in South Yarra helping me choose a beautiful dress.

Shoes from two years ago (thanks Mimco) and I’m Brownlow ready!

Ads has dusted off the suit he has worn to the past 10 Brownlows, with a quick trip to the alteration man to get them “adjusted”. Or more accurately, taken out 13 months post-footy.

And we are Brownlow ready!

I’ve realised we are lucky enough to get invited so why not take the opportunity for a night out with my husband and cheer on the great man Dusty.

And don’t worry my friend, even though you can’t enjoy a beer tonight, the Cooneys will celebrate for you.

Originally published as How to attend the Brownlow with eight hours notice