Greatest Hits of the Fitz

It’s been a fantastic year of misguided predictions from Peter FitzSimons. Let’s review the great republican raghead’s best calls of 2019.

His Royal Wrongness

It’s been a fantastic year of misguided predictions from Peter FitzSimons. Let’s review the great republican raghead’s best calls of 2019.

The pirate-imitating Christmas book author’s 2019 inaccuracy spree began in January with a swipe against US Covington Catholic High School students who’d been framed for mocking an Indian elder.

Those kids were, FitzSimons wrote, “sneering punks” who’d disgraced “themselves, their school, and their country”.

But footage then emerged completely exonerating the kids, one of whom has since filed a $250 million lawsuit against US media outlets.

In February, Ten cancelled its gameshow Pointless even before the year’s first ratings period. This must have shocked FitzSimons, who’d written of host Mark Humphries: “Told yers. This guy is the Next Big Thing. Has a new gig at Channel Ten.”

And now he doesn’t. In March, FitzSimons became convinced that new sports stadiums would bring down the Berejiklian government. “It’s an absolute political disaster,” he declared. Berejiklian won by more than 360,000 votes.

“Is it me,” FitzSimons asked in May, “or does it look like the political wind has suddenly shifted and is now filling Bill Shorten's sails as never before?”

It was him. Six days later, wind-filled William was deflated by the Australian electorate.

“Of course Craig Kelly will lose his seat,” FitzSimons had earlier decided. Result: a 1.26 per cent swing to Kelly, whose margin grew to 19,000 votes.

And so on and so on, right up to last week’s settlement of the legal case between Israel Folau and Rugby Australia. That settlement was on the cards from December 2, when FitzSimons told his Twitter audience:

Then, following the settlement, FitzSimons had this to say: "As one who has followed the issues closely … and who has written and ranted about it extensively, I am more aware than most of the damage [Folau] has done.”

He’s followed the issues so closely that FitzSimons estimated Rugby Australia’s payout to Folau at only around “$200,000 to $300,000”. I have no rugby union contacts at all, but it took just two phone calls to discover the precise amount.

FitzSimons, of course and as usual, was wrong. Looking ahead, wily US election punters may wish to know a FitzSimons prediction in that arena. 

He’s an Elizabeth Warren supporter. “My pound to your peanut says she will be the one standing for the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2020,” FitzSimons forecast.

She’s been dying in the polls ever since.

“Support for U.S. Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren dropped nationally to its lowest level in four months,” the Washington Post reported during the weekend, below the headline: “Whatever happened to Elizabeth Warren?”

Easy. Just like Turnbull, Humphries, NSW Labor, Shorten and Rugby Australia, she’s been Fitzed.