BANDANA GORILLA DEVELOPS BAD CASE OF THE PUNCTUATION YIPS

The Sydney Morning Herald’s Peter FitzSimons has become so self-conscious about his overuse of commas that he’s now underusing them.

The Sydney Morning Herald’s Peter FitzSimons has become so self-conscious about his overuse of commas that he’s now underusing them.

His comma confidence is completely shot. Grammarians in the audience are invited to identify where a comma should have been inserted in this FitzSimons sentence:

The strength of John Howard as a prime minister it seemed to me, was that he stuck to his convictions – win, lose or draw, popular or unpopular – and though he might alter his views on evidence, he never did a U-turn for expedience.

And for those keeping track of Peter’s wayward predictions, note his I’m a Celebrity call:

Let me tell you right now who is going to win this season.

Peter Rowsthorn, the actor who came to fame as "Brettie" on Kath & Kim, will romp home.

He was Brett. Anyway:

I have come across him several times on the speaking circuit, the first occasion being after I had just addressed 1500 rowdy plumbers in Parramatta. He was the next speaker up, and I wished him good luck on the stairs going down, knowing he had no chance of holding them. Actually, he blew the room away, had them in the palm of his hand from the first. He was by turns funny, insightful and inspiring. And he is just the same as an MC at conferences. He is a great bloke, with a very warm personality, and he starts out with Australia already loving him for being Brettie, the long-suffering husband of Kim, and the only one consistently kind to Sharon. Peter Rowsthorn will win. You heard it here first.

FitzSimons previously rendered that concluding line as:

You heard it here, first!

Commas are a hell of a drug.