Tina Greer’s daughter shares victim impact statement at inquest into mum’s disappearance
The daughter of Tina Greer, whose 2012 disappearance is being investigated by a coroner, has shared letters she received from her mum, and shared a powerful promise for the future.
Police & Courts
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The daughter of Tina Greer, whose disappearance is being investigated by a coroner in Brisbane, has delivered a harrowing and powerful victim impact statement at the inquest.
Tina Louise Greer, 32, disappeared in January 2012 after leaving her Beechmont home in the Gold Coast hinterland to visit her volatile ex-boyfriend, notorious Finks bikie Les “Grumpy” Sharman at his Spicer’s Gap property.
Lili Greer was just 13.
Days later her car was found at Governor’s Chair lookout at the end of Spicer’s Gap Road and her body has never been found.
Sharman was immediately declared a person of interest but refused to be interviewed by police and died in a road accident in 2018.
LILI GREER’S FULL VICTIM IMPACT STATEMENT
“I’ll never be able to describe truly what my mum means to me. She was a beautiful, bubbly and vibrant mum who would do anything and everything for. She was my world and I hers, we would move mountains for one another.
When mum and I were separated, and we weren’t meeting up in secret, mum would post me stamps and we would constantly write letters to one another. I’m lucky enough to have over 80 handwritten letters that mum wrote to me. They all said something like “Dearest Lili, hi babe. How are you? I loved our time together I wish we had longer” and they all end similarly in saying “you are my reason for living. I love you. You’re my favourite person in the world. PS You are my rock.” Not to mention that the pages were always filled with drawings and her trademark roses.
Among the many memories I have with mum some consist of us collecting shells at the beach, ice skating, our long car drives where we will talk endlessly and mostly the nights we got to have sleepovers and simply being in each other’s company. For me, there is no one memory that is my favourite because in reality, they’re all my favourite because she was there.
I’ve always been my mum’s protector and I don’t think this is an uncommon feeling for kids whose parents are victims of domestic and family violence. Like most abusive relationships, victims are often left with no one to turn to. My mum was always upfront with me and she didn’t hide the reality of what she was facing. Before we lived together, my mum started to disclose the violence and abuse she was experiencing. At the time, I was a kid and I was paralysed by fear, unable to tell anyone about it.
Mother needed someone who would believe her, listen to her and most of all love her. Mum didn’t have many people she could rely on but I was that was person.
Despite my mum’s struggles, she worked incredibly hard on herself, for us and for our dream of living together. In September 2011, our dream became reality and by December, we were living together decorating our flat. At this time, mum had escaped her abuser and my mum did everything she could so that we could start our lives together. But like in a lot of domestic violence relationships she was trapped in a cycle of abuse. When we finally got our place together, we had nothing but mum made it work because having each other is all that we needed.
Despite trying to move on with our lives we were constantly harassed and stalked. We were living in fear, and I felt like no one believed us and could protect us. Again, we only had each other. Looking back at this time is really complicated. On the one hand we were absolutely terrified of the stalking and abuse and sleeping on the living room floor with knives hidden.
But it was also one of the happiest times of having girls nights with my mum. We could finally do what all the other mums and daughters got to do. I’ll never forget eating my mum’s famous chicken and pasta salad sandwiches and rewatching and re watching and rewatching all the Twilight movies with her.
No matter how tight things were or what was happening in our lives my mum always made me feel like we were the luckiest people on earth. The last letter my mum ever wrote to me was at the end of 2011 just after we had moved in together. My mum wrote “I can’t wait for our next journey together”. Our journey had just started when one mum went missing on January the 18th 2012. The week, she went missing it rained a lot and my child’s brain thought my mum may be in the bushland of Aratula tour. I remember thinking I hope mum isn’t cold and wet. At first I kept all her clothes as she would need them if she ever came back. Deep down I knew this was never going to happen.
Mum missed dropping me off at my first day of high school. We didn’t get to joke about how ugly my school shoes were or debrief on the school goss. We missed celebrating her 33rd birthday. And we have missed all the other milestones and celebrations since.
Life’s big occasions and celebrations are no longer so great when you don’t get to share them with your mum. Instead it is overwhelmingly lonely. I will never get to hug my mum again or to exchange a simple “I love you”. I mourn the life that we were about to share together.
In the initial weeks and years I was updated on mum’s investigation by the news and radio. I remember I was using school computers to look up articles to find out what had happened to my mum. I wasn’t told anything, I wasn’t updated by anyone and I wasn’t able to ask any questions. I have dreamt of all the ways my mum may have been murdered and all the places her body may be.
I now understand that what I was dealing with and continue to deal with is known as complex PTSD. Not knowing where she is or what has happened to her, is a never-ending hell that I cannot escape even when I’m asleep. It wasn’t until seven years after my mum went missing I was contacted by Homicide. It was then I connected the dots and realised that the police have thought that my mum had been murdered. When mum went missing I was expected to go on with my life. I didn’t get the chance to mourn her. After she went missing I continued to write letters to my mother and I addressed them to his house. In 2021, nine years after her disappearance, I was finally able to hold a memorial.
I can’t describe to you what it is like hearing at this inquest that my mum’s case has been treated as a homicide investigation from the very beginning. Throughout my teenage and adult years, I have had to advocate for my mum and more often than not I have been met with “she should have just left” as if domestic and family violence is just that simple.
The responsibility is with the perpetrator of violence, not with the victim. It is time that we stop blaming victims for the actions of perpetrators. There is no denying that what my mum was experiencing was domestic violence. I am deeply disturbed by the evidence that we have heard during this inquest. And no passage of time will ever justify these failings. Now I’m an adult I refuse to be silent. I will never stop advocating for my mum and other victims of family and domestic violence.
In closing I’d like to write a letter to you mum, “To my dearest mum I loved our time together and I wish we had longer. I’m sorry that I couldn’t have helped you earlier. But this is not the end of our journey. I will not stop until you are found, I will keep fighting to address the systemic failings you experienced. You are my reason for living, I love you. You’re my favourite person in this world. PS you are my rock”.
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