Rhys Jack pens heartfelt letter to estranged brother Kieren Jack
Sydney champion Kieren Jack has played his last game of football and estranged brother Rhys has delivered a heartfelt plea for the Swans toughnut to remember where he came from. IN HIS OWN WORDS
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The brother of retiring Sydney Swans star Kieren Jack has written a heartfelt message to the public, laying bare the deep wounds inflicted by a bitter feud which has split the family apart.
Rhys Jack, writes he only learned of AFL star Kieren’s retirement when his rugby league legend father Garry Jack texted him on Monday to say it was on TV, said he felt compelled to write after hearing his older brother speak about his career.
I received a text message from my Dad Garry at about 11 on Monday morning this week telling me that my older brother, Kieren, had announced his retirement from the Sydney Swans after 14 seasons.
Dad had seen the announcement on a TV screen and sent me a picture message and he mentioned there was going to be a press conference.
I was curious to hear what would be said, so I tuned in.
For more than 20 minutes my brother sat beside the Swans coach John Longmire and they talked about lots of things. About celebrating, about achievements, about the Bloods’ culture, about leadership and mindset, and about defining moments.
And then it ended.
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Sometimes it’s the things that aren’t said, and the moments that aren’t shared, that speak the loudest.
For those who don’t know, both my brother Kieren and my younger brother, Brandon, have been estranged from not only my parents, but our extended family and closest friends for the past four years.
It was the culmination of very public events that don’t belong in the newspapers and don’t deserve to be aired in public again. But there definitely are a few things that do deserve to have been shared this week.
I remember growing up with my brothers at our home in Cherrybrook. Looking back on those years, we had it all.
We’d play footy in the front yard and cricket in the back. We wrestled and swam, hit golf balls and rode our bikes around the neighbourhood until sunset. Every night there was a home-cooked meal waiting on the table. We were each cared for and loved equally.
Pretty well every Saturday night my dad would cook a BBQ for the family, and all three of us boys would compare how many tries we’d scored and goals we’d kicked that day at our football games.
Mum and Dad, usually exhausted from ferrying around three boys who sometimes played three different footy codes, would listen on, encourage us if we’d lost and talk about the good things we had done on the field.
Weekends for us were chaotic — in fact, the week days were as well with the amount of football training we each had on — but we always made it to the grounds on time and there was always someone there in the crowd watching us and cheering us on.
As a family, we travelled around Sydney in all four seasons. Our clothes line looked like a rugby league museum from all the old football gear we would take from my dad’s big wooden memorabilia chest to wear. I would frequently turn up to footy training wearing a real NSW training shirt, real Balmain shorts and real Australian socks.
For my parents, there was nothing more that they wanted to see than see us enjoying ourselves and playing sport.
I remember one of Kieren’s very first games of AFL. I remember it because I was playing with him in the same team. We were in primary school and we had made it into the Grand Final of the Paul Kelly Cup — a new competition for schools throughout NSW. And at the end of the day, our school — West Pennant Hills Public School — had won it.
I remember being on the SCG in front of the Ladies Pavilion, and shaking hands with Paul Kelly. “This is the most famous person I’ve ever met,” I thought — even more famous than my dad.
The coach of that primary school team was man named Greg Barnes, a local legend at the Pennant Hills Demons AFL club and a father who volunteered to coach the school team. Today Greg is one of our very closest family friends. I remember the way he encouraged us to “always look to play on” and taught us with a love of the game that was infectious and easy to see. I have no doubt he is the one who planted the early seeds that gave my brother a desire to play Aussie rules.
When my brother decided he wanted to stop playing rugby league, he was a teenager.
From the moment he decided he wanted to commit himself to AFL, mum and dad were right behind him. We now travelled a little further away from Sydney: to Wagga, Albury, Canberra, Illawarra, and anywhere that the game took him during those early years.
And sometimes dad even got involved in the games.
I remember one particular game when dad volunteered to be a goal umpire for the first time. After the first score, he couldn’t understand why the game had stopped and the other goal umpire was frantically waving the two flags at him and all the players on the field were staring at him.
He learned that rule pretty quickly: that both goal umpires need to signal to each other before play can resume — much to the embarrassment of Kieren on the field.
There were plenty of good times and also some bad. But in the early days the bad times were more frequent and unforgiving for a small rugby league convert with a non-traditional kicking style.
Like the time he missed out on the under-16s NSW team.
He was broken-hearted. He was told he wasn’t big enough. But there were two people who picked him back up — and have picked us all up throughout our lives — and helped him to keep going despite what those “experts: thought. Mum and Dad.
I remember the day of the 2005 Under 18s National Draft clearly. Waiting for a phone call that never came. Kieren wasn’t selected in the draft by any club on the day. It was supposed to be the best day of his life, but instead it was a disaster. But his family was there for him.
A few days after the Draft, someone at the Swans told Kieren that his draft papers had never arrived in Melbourne and as a result he couldn’t be drafted at all.
For players who don’t get picked up in the first draft, their only other chance of playing in the AFL is if they get selected in the rookie draft.
For Kieren, because his papers hadn’t arrived at the AFL, this wasn’t a possibility either. It was against the rules.
In the days that followed, realising that something seriously unfair had happened, my dad took a chance and did what any parent would likely do for their child in the same situation.
He wrote a letter to the CEO of the AFL, Andrew Demetriou, and he pleaded for Kieren to be given a second chance to be drafted as a rookie.
This letter — from a man who had played 16 seasons of first-grade rugby league, 17 State of Origin games for NSW, 22 Test matches for Australia and had won a golden boot for the best rugby league player in the world — explained that his own son dreamt of playing AFL but now couldn’t because of a terrible mistake.
His papers had been lost in the mail.
We never found out exactly what happened after that letter was sent. But at the rookie draft a few weeks later, Kieren was drafted to the Swans with pick No. 58.
He now had a chance to fulfil his dream.
From that moment on, he left the family home.
At 18, he was a grown man and able to make his own decisions and choices in life.
What he went on to do in the game over the next 14 years was beyond anyone’s expectations and his bond with the code and the club who drafted him only continued to grow from that moment on.
This weekend has been about the pride game for the Swans at the SCG.
It was supposed to be a celebration of inclusion. But none of Kieren’s grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles were going to the SCG, and neither were his mum or dad.
There’s been a noticeable feeling of exclusion over the past few years for us all.
Only his brother Brandon was there.
The Swans coach John Longmire said at Kieren’s press conference this week that kids in NSW who look up to Kieren could learn something from him.
Well, if there is a lesson to come from this for all young sportspeople, then I hope it’s this: No matter how much you want to believe it, you can’t materialise in this world as a fully grown adult ready to take on anything that comes your way.
You are the product of all of the failures, mistakes and mess-ups that happen to you from the day you’re born and you are also the product of the people who were there standing behind you, helping you, forgiving you, cleaning up your mess and cheering you on through all of those tough times.
As much as you may seek to avoid it, or rewrite what happened, you can never deny where you’ve come from and you can never deny the important role your parents played in your upbringing at every step of the journey.
Those are the people who are worth just as much as any jersey or premiership cup could ever be.
VERY PROUD OF RHYS
Rhys’ father and rugby league legend Garry took to social media on Sunday morning to defend his son’s letter which had drawn criticism, from former NRL star Jamie Soward and racing identity Richard Callander.
Very proud of Rhys as is the whole family.
— Garry Jack (@jimmyjack244) August 24, 2019
I wasn’t saying the writing wasn’t good mate. I said the timing was weird. I’m not comparing my situation to anyone else. I respect everyone’s right to privacy in delicate situations. That’s all mate.
— Jamie Soward (@sowwowofficial6) August 25, 2019
Take it on its merit. It was a beautifully written positive article by a brother who has lived through terrible pain over 4yrs. Hard to fix things when you are ostracised for 4yrs.
— Garry Jack (@jimmyjack244) August 24, 2019
Originally published as Rhys Jack pens heartfelt letter to estranged brother Kieren Jack
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