Social Brownlow: Tania’s fetish for Bucks’ beard, Jack Higgins’ hilarious speech, Mason Cox’s big night on Twitter
FROM Nathan Buckley’s wife’s beard fetish, Jack Higgins’ awesome speech, the outfit that “looked like Ozzie Ostrich” and Mason Cox’s Twitter game, here’s what you might have missed at last night’s Brownlow.
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FROM Nathan Buckley’s wife’s beard fetish, Jack Higgins’ awesome speech, the outfit that “looked like Ozzie Ostrich” and Mason Cox’s Twitter game, here’s what you might have missed at last night’s Brownlow count.
GUS: HOW A DEE FINISHED THIRD, BUT DIDN’T GET INVITED
DANE SWAN: HOW FEV RUINED THE BROWNLOW
TANIA’S FETISH FOR BUCKS’ BEARD
NATHAN Buckley initially grew his beard to inspire his players to perform better at defensive stoppages.
At least that was the public reason.
The Collingwood coach last night revealed there was more to the beard than meets the eye.
“There’s a couple of threads — there’s the public one, which is about D50 stoppages, when we kicked a goal, I was happy to keep it,” Buckley said at last night’s Brownlow.
“The second sort of less public one is perhaps (wife) Tania developed a beard fetish during the year.”
Happy wife, happy life, Bucks.
HIGGINS SPEECH BRINGS DOWN THE HOUSE
YOUNG Tiger Jack Higgins claimed Goal of the Year with his spectacular and controversial bicycle kick against Collingwood — then delivered a speech for the ages.
Higgins maintained he didn’t throw the ball when he tossed the ball around the goalpost before flinging himself backwards to score a remarkable goal in Round 19.
His goal scored more fan votes than Swan Luke Parker and Brisbane’s Charlie Cameron.
Higgins, who dropped out of school to concentrate on getting drafted, has become famous for his energetic post-match interviews and midgame pep talks to teammates this year.
And tonight the footy world got to appreciate the bubbly and rapid-fire delivery in a speech that had the audience at Crown for the Brownlow count in stitches.
Asked by teammate Jack Riewoldt what was going through his head when he decided to keep the ball in play against the Magpies, Higgins replied: “Like always, nothing.”
He continued: “I saw the goalpost there and I had to just throw — it wasn’t a throw — I dropped the ball around and kicked the goal. It wasn’t a throw.”
Still a throw#coxycomments
— Mason Cox (@masonsixtencox) September 24, 2018
Riewoldt then admitted it was with some trepidation that he handed the microphone over to the Tigers teenager. But he needn’t have worried, despite some early nerves. Here is Higgins’ full speech:
“My heart’s pumping a thousand minutes per second so if I screw it up don’t pay on me.
“Firstly, I’d like to thank the Richmond Football Club and stuff like that for giving me the opportunity, ah, yea, and Dimma — there you go — for giving me the opportunity to play some games this year, which is awesome.
“I’d like to thank all the people who helped me out in my junior career, all my teammates and my parents, and my girlfriend Tenisha, who gave me heaps of support this year.
“I really appreciate it, thanks for the award and thanks for voting. Cheers.”
A few rounds later he posted a picture on Instagram with the caption: “Correction: 1000 beats per second”
THE ‘OZZIE OSTRICH’ DRESS
THE biggest head-turner on the red carpet was without doubt Western Bulldogs defender Jason Johannisen’s partner Logan Shine.
Shine’s feathered dress apparently took Melbourne-based bridal designer Con Ilio more than 500 hours to make, only to make her look like “she had Ozzie Ostrich hanging off the back of her”, according to SEN Breakfast’s Garry Lyon.
The Norm Smith Medallist’s fit was also eye-catching and Shine admitted he took some convincing.
“He was a bit worried about wearing the chain, but it’s definitely a part of who he is, so I said ‘go for it’,” Shine said on the red carpet.
“He’s always going to stand out from the crowd a little bit.”
Only a little bit?
MAX’S BROWNLOW WARM UP
WE all know Melbourne ruckman Max Gawn loves a bit of Gilmore Girls.
But did you know he’s a big fan of former Malcolm in the Middle star Frankie Muniz... or Munz?
The big fella said his warm up for the count was a viewing of Big Fat Liar.
“Big Fat Liar with Frankie Muniz... or Munz, if anyone can help me with that,” Gawn told Nat Fyfe during Seven’s broadcast.
“He’s off Malcolm in the Middle, super actor. Yeah, it was a quality couple of hours.”
What you see is what you get from the bearded one when it comes to grooming.
“I do nothing, genuinely, genuinely nothing,” he said.
“Obviously I am a hairy man — sometimes I get hair on my forehead and my cheeks, that’s it, that’s it.”
‘3 VOTES FOR THE BIG FELLA’
FROM potting his coach:
You've come a long way coach...#coxycomments pic.twitter.com/fqiiBTlNad
— Mason Cox (@masonsixtencox) September 24, 2018
To a grand realisation about the medal count:
Wait don't tell me Gil just calls out votes for the next 3 hours. #alreadybored#coxycomments
— Mason Cox (@masonsixtencox) September 24, 2018
And getting some love from Seven meterologist Jane Bunn:
Forecast for Saturday: record high... touches by an American #AFLGrandFinal
— Jane Bunn (@JaneBunn) September 24, 2018
American Pie Mason Cox owned Twitter last night:
3 votes for the big fella in the Melbourne game. Wow I didn't see that coming...#coxycomments pic.twitter.com/4DgkSc1YH6
— Mason Cox (@masonsixtencox) September 24, 2018
CLARKO’S SNOOZE
WE need distractions on Brownlow night because let’s be honest, the vote count drags on a bit.
Just ask Hawthorn premiership mastermind Alastair Clarkson, if in doubt.
Clarko was spotted with eyes closed mid-way through winner Tom Mitchell’s speech – the image going viral as fans agreed with the coach’s assessment of the long night.
“He didn’t seem too interested to be there. He congratulated me after that, but still no excuse, he fell asleep,” Mitchell said this morning.
Also, spare a thought for Gold Coast Suns veteran Michael Rischitelli who, had he been watching last night’s broadcast, would have got the shock of his life seeing his highlights pop up in the retiring players montage – a Brownlow night tradition.
The imagery whipped social media into frenzy, and rightly so because, most importantly, Rischitelli hasn’t retired. Oops!
The blunder prompted the Suns to re-issue a press release from August 30 which confirmed the delisted midfielder – technically – will play on next season on a rookie contract.
Rischitelli missed just one game last season, playing 21 of a possible 22 games, after an injury interrupted past two campaigns in which he managed just 16 games.
HOW DID DEE NOT GET INVITED?
IT will go down as one of the biggest mysteries of Brownlow night.
How in the world did Angus Brayshaw miss out on an invite?
The Melbourne midfielder stormed home late in the count to finish in third place behind winner Tom Mitchell and Collingwood’s Steele Sidebottom.
However, he was watching at home in a “Cotton On T-Shirt”.
BIGGEST BROWNLOW HEAD SCRATCHERS
■ NAT FYFE
FREMANTLE star Nat Fyfe had a solid game against Richmond in Round 7.
Solid enough for the umpires to award him the three votes... in a game his Dockers lost by 77 points.
Reckon Kane Lambert (25 disposals, two goals), David Astbury (14 marks to go with his 20 disposals) and even Dusty (26 touches, but four behinds) could consider themselves stiff to be eclipsed by the Dockers.
Check out these stats below from the Swamp:
Polling 3 votes in biggest losses
— Swamp (@sirswampthing) September 24, 2018
-97 Gary Ablett 2012 R10 v COLL
-92 Gary Ablett 2012 R02 v STK
-77 NAT FYFE 2018 R07 v RICH
-69 Gary Ablett 2012 R01 v ADEL
-65 Greg Williams 1985 R03 v FOOTS
@freodockers @AFL #Brownlow
■ MARLEY WILLIAMS
North Melbourne’s Marley Williams is the new Robbert Klomp.
Klomp is famous for winning a TV from Channel 7 for being best afield in a 1981 game despite having just six kicks.
Williams almost matched that last night, polling three mystifying Brownlow votes against St Kilda in Round 2.
The former Magpie had 14 disposals that day. He wasn’t named in North Melbourne’s best players and tallied 66 SuperCoach points, the fifth-lowest score of any Kangaroos player.
Champion Data’s Brownlow formula gave Williams a 0.0 per cent chance of polling at all in Round 2.
The umpires gave two votes to Jarrad Waite (21 disposals, 13 marks, 125 SuperCoach points) and one to Jake Carlisle (17 disposals, 105 SuperCoach points). Todd Goldstein (16 disposals, 38 hitouts, 123 SuperCoach points), Ben Jacobs (104 SuperCoach points) and Jack Steven (98) missed out entirely.
■ DAYNE BEAMS
Claye Beams stood up for the family name when he tweeted his disbelief at brother Dayne missing a vote in Round 11.
Dayne had 32 disposals and five goals but couldn’t score a vote against Essendon.
The votes went to Zach Merrett, Harris Andrews and Jake Stringer.
32 and 5 goals..... 0 votes..... wow 😂😂😂
— Claye Beams (@ClayeBeams) September 24, 2018
■ DUSTIN MARTIN
Dustin Martin’s Brownlow defence was in massive trouble from the first game of the season when he failed to poll in the Tigers’ Round 1 win against Carlton.
Most experts had Dusty and Patrick Cripps fighting it out for the three votes after the reigning Brownlow winner had 32 disposals and a goal in Richmond’s win.
The umps weren’t impressed, handing Charlie Curnow three votes for his five-goal performance. Cripps got two and Jack Riewoldt picked up one vote.
Things didn’t improve much for Dusty the next week, when he received only one vote for his virtuoso five-goal performance against Adelaide.
■ BRODIE GRUNDY
Brodie Grundy polled votes in 10 games to finish with 17 votes, second at Collingwood behind Steele Sidebottom.
But are the umpires still figuring out how to reward his huge possession and hitout tallies? He didn’t poll a single vote in any of these games:
Round 8 - 19 disposals, 42 hitouts, one goal, 137 SuperCoach points
Round 16 - 24 disposals, 34 hitouts, 8 clearances, 1 goal, 155 SuperCoach points
Round 23 - 24 disposals, 34 hitouts, 150 SuperCoach points
Still, it was a big improvement on his two votes in last year’s count.
PHOTO GALLERY OF THE 2018 BROWNLOW RED CARPET
Originally published as Social Brownlow: Tania’s fetish for Bucks’ beard, Jack Higgins’ hilarious speech, Mason Cox’s big night on Twitter
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