Why bosses should be sober at Christmas parties

We celebrate by guzzling gallons of booze, but careers and lives have been ruined by excessive drinking. It’s up to workplaces to mitigate risk with more safety requirements, writes Paul Williams.

Do you struggle to remember the lyrics of even the most popular Christmas carols?

If you do, and you’re an office Christmas party veteran, try this one on for size:

At my 12th Christmas party my dear hosts gave to me, 12 bumbling drunks, 11 loud laughers, 10 tuneless singers, nine gossipmongers, eight people pashing, seven political pundits, six sick assistants — five stoned blokes — four brawling louts, three sleeping guests, two tipsy girls and a creep with his hand on one of the girl’s knees.

Sound familiar? It does to me. But people-watching as a sober guest sure beats mumbling your way through Hark the Herald Angels Sing, only to recover from your embarrassment with a bellowed “Glory to newborn King!”.

The silly lyrics above are just a segue into the far more serious issue of excessive drinking at Christmas and especially at office Christmas parties. It’s a problem partygoers and office managers alike must carefully consider this time of year.

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In fact, too many careers — and lives — have been ruined by a worker’s greedy guzzling of “free” after hours grog, and too many lawsuits litigated against employers for turning sober places of professional work into unlicensed, unregulated bars.

Workplaces can become unregulated bars at Christmas time. Picture: iStock

So what are the risks?

The first and most obvious is a company office serving alcohol to people who may then attempt to drive home.

But a second risk is considered far too rarely: what happens when an office junior, aged 16, is supplied alcohol by a merry co-worker friend who, as a data entry officer, is clearly unqualified to tend the bar?

Then there are the inevitable insults when “tired and emotional” co-workers, fuelled by a boozy bravado, tell each other what they truly think. A verbal stoush among co-workers will make the next day a little uncomfortable. But telling off the boss is likely a career-ending move. And elevating insults to fisticuffs is not just a sackable offence; it could also see you in court.

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Then there’s the big one: sexual harassment. While a consensual snog in the photocopy room will probably result in nothing more than embarrassment come Monday morning — or outright humiliation if witnessed by others — unwelcome sexual advances toward co-workers will spell legal trouble well into the New Year.

So who’s to blame when the office party goes pear-shaped?

Given the courts will blame drunken office party offences on both the individual and the firm that freely supplied the alcohol, it’s clearly not worth the risk for any office to serve alcohol at any function — before, during or after hours. Nor is it worth the risk for employees to drink the grog offered.

There are plans workplaces can put in place to mitigate the risks created by drinking, including the boss remaining entirely sober. Picture: iStock

But, given that Australian culture demands we celebrate Christmas by pouring gallons of ethanol down our throats — the birth of Christ and Goodwill to all Men clearly demands a six pack of rum and Coke and a vomit behind the dumpster — there are steps workplace managers can take to mitigate the risks.

The first is to plan the party, its safety requirements and contingency plans down to the letter. Draw up a list of volunteer sober drivers to get tipsy workers home, or issue cab vouchers. Order just enough alcohol so that each guest can enjoy two or three alcohol drinks during the evening, with plenty of non-alcoholic alternatives available. Offering a non-drinker just warm tap water as the only alternative is hardly welcoming. Trust me; I know.

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Moreover, hire a professional bartender with a Responsible Service of Alcohol certificate, and have a predetermined and well-advertised termination time for the party.

Second, circulate an email — or deliver a staff lecture — regarding expected standards of behaviour, including social media behaviour. No company can afford the damage of a drunken tweet or Facebook post. Moreover, list any activities that breach professional standards, and remind workers that disciplinary action, including dismissal, is a potential outcome. By attending the party, guests are then deemed to have agreed to the conditions.

Third, the boss has to be the party parent and remain entirely sober so that her or his employees are kept safe and well. That means walking the corridors to police illicit drug taking, identifying tipsy tipplers who’ve had enough, and rescuing staff uncomfortably cornered by handsy co-workers. In short, this is no time for the boss to be the workers’ mate.

If all this sounds wowserish, then so be it. I’d rather be called a wowser than see an innocent injured.

This Christmas, whether at home, the office party or in public, drink responsibly. Your future depends on it.

Dr Paul Williams is a columnist for The Courier-Mail.