Palmer’s return to politics is for one person only

His proposals don’t add up, his ads are a visual eyesore, and his choice of electorate could be described as questionable at best. Make no mistake, Clive Palmer’s comeback is not for you, writes Paul Williams.

I call it “aorta” politics.

The lament of the whiny voter — and the populist pollie who panders to them — who impossibly demands more for less.

“Aorta lower taxes, raise the pension, build more infrastructure and pay down debt,” the angry voter urges. And what about a cure for baldness and free Netflix while we’re at it? It’s the kind of dubious doublethink that would make George Orwell cringe.

Regular readers of this column know my long exasperation with Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party.

For two decades it has exploited the whingers who want the world for nothing, all the while hoovering up taxpayer-funded election dollars for every failed campaign. Little wonder PHON strategists snigger behind their hands at the gullibility of those who hate mainstream politicians without really knowing why.

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But PHON has now been exposed as a self-interested outfit unlikely to secure a seat anywhere on May 18. Yet, the next parliament may also be compromised if one Clive Palmer — with his bottomless bucket of cash — pinches at least one Senate seat (and maybe more) after a migraine-inducing advertising blitz costing up to $80 million.

Clive Palmer and his supporters attended a Pro-Adani protest over the weekend. Picture: AAP/Steve Pohlner

While unsubtly painting himself as Australia’s Donald Trump — we can only groan at Palmer’s meaningless pledge to “Make Australia Great” — Palmer is genuinely unique in Australian politics. We’ve never really seen before an elite populist attack the very democratic system that’s made him mega-rich.

Apparently, Palmer is just a battler denied a fair go. Or so those gaudy yellow advertisements — shouting snake-oil cures like a corny carnival spruiker — suggest every three minutes. But are they working?

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It seems so. With polls indicating Palmer’s United Australia Party is attracting up to 14 per cent support in some seats — not enough to win in the Lower House but enough, with Scott Morrison’s Coalition preferences, to win in the Senate — it looks like Palmer’s propaganda is penetrating enough minds like so many of Pavlov’s dogs.

So let’s drill into Palmer’s claims that he and he alone can return us to the land of milk and honey — such as lowering electricity prices without explaining how — at no cost and with no effort.

Just one day before the protest, Clive Palmer was seen leaving the Supreme Court in Brisbane. Picture: AAP/Glenn Hunt

First, Palmer promises to “reduce taxes” while promising a $150 increase in the aged pension that, independent analysis indicates, will blow out Australia’s finances by $1 trillion. It’s magic pudding politics for the New Age.

Then there’s his claim Chinese imports and foreign investment are killing Australia, all the while giving his campaign workers Chinese-made caps and T-shirts.

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And let’s not forget his promise to establish a system where resources will “flow back to the community that generates the wealth”. Does that means a less productive Townsville, with a GDP of $16 billion, will receive less from a Palmer government than a more productive Gold Coast with a GDP of $35 billion?

Almost as galling is how he treats voters like dills. Not content at shouting vague promises, Palmer thinks the good people of Herbert can be won over only by a former football celebrity as their candidate and not a real-life nurse, teacher or taxi driver.

If he truly believes Townsville is Australia’s greatest city, why didn’t he nominate there himself? Because polling says Palmer — still on the nose among unpaid Queensland Nickel workers and others — cannot win in Herbert, but he might be able to sneak into the Senate on the back of preferences.

The main problem with Palmer’s promises is that they simply don’t stack up. Picture: supplied

But surely Palmer will be the strong and stable leader Australia needs? Well, ask the seven MPs who split from the original Palmer United Party, including Jacqui Lambie and Glenn Lazarus, who accused him of bullying.

As we saw with PHON’s own implosion, any candidate elected under the UAP banner is unlikely to still be there in three years’ time.

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But surely Palmer will put Queenslanders first? Well, ask the good people of Fairfax on the Sunshine Coast, who saw Clive Palmer MP absent for 36 per cent of Parliament’s sitting days in 2014, and for 46 per cent in 2015.

If Palmer continues to focus on making billions for himself while serving in Canberra, expect him to be a part time pollie.

Make no mistake. Clive is in politics for Clive. And it is his democratic right to seek election so he can amend taxation and regulation laws affecting him and his business. Now, make it your democratic right to ignore the Palmer propaganda and think for yourself.

Dr Paul Williams is a senior lecturer at Griffith University.