Every parent needs a hobby

DEVOTING every waking hour to your children might feel like the right thing to do, but well-balanced parents with their own interests will create well-balanced kids, writes Lanai Scarr.

Kids can take all of your attention, but it’s important to cave some time our for yourself. (Pic: Crispin Rodwell)

AS a mum to four kids aged four and under I have no hobbies.

Unless of course you count stuffing my face with cake and fairy bread at kids birthday parties, dreaming of sleep-ins beyond 7am and drinking cocktails with my mums group on our rare nights out of the house.

Between holding down a full-time job and raising a four-year-old and two-year-old triplets, life is crazy.

I rarely get to read a book in full, I can’t remember the last time I tried to study a new language or take a dance class.

Life is filled to the brim with appointments for the kids, cleaning, cooking, attempting to make a dent in Mount Washmore and just generally surviving.

New research revealed by News Corp today shows 77 per cent of Australian mums have given up a hobby or passion to instead put their kids first.

A total of 59 per cent of Australian women have all but stopped pursuing their passion or interest with one in five stopping completely.

Mums on average spend 10 hours a week doing soccer runs, dance or swim classes or pursuing their kids’ passions above their own.

And while many of us out there in parent-land would be nodding in agreement, it’s a shocking statistic to know that so many mothers simply sweep aside their sense of self in order to give the best to their kids.

James and Lanai Scarr at Perisher with their children Molly (3) and triplets Jim, Nate and Edy (18 months).

And it’s not just about mums either, dads do it too.

I can’t remember the last time my husband went to an organised basketball game or did something that was part of his pre-parenthood routine.

And I think to be honest it’s doing a disservice to our kids.

I’m guilty of it, but I think we need our kids to learn that self-care is important. That you’re a better mother and human when you give back to yourself.

They need to learn that hobbies and passions are normalised parts of our lives — kids very much pick up on their parents’ cues.

Research earlier this month showed kids in homes where parents played a sport were more likely to be physically active themselves and therefore less likely to be overweight.

We need to treat passions and hobbies with the same refrain.

If we show our kids that doing things we love and carving time out for it is a good thing then they will too.

If they see us reading books for our own pleasure, they will be more likely to read books themselves.

And if we carve out time for ourselves as parents we are also less likely to feel that overwhelming sense of difficulty that can often come with being a parent.

Lanai Scarr is a senior News Corp writer.

@pollietracker

Originally published as Every parent needs a hobby