A proposal need not be an Insta moment
Prospective brides and grooms are going increasingly over-the-top in their social-media-friendly wedding proposals, but Frances Whiting says the best way to pop the question is to keep it real.
When my husband proposed to me, I was wearing flannelette pyjamas, and I was not happy about it.
When he said “Frances Whiting, you are the most beautiful, brilliant, frankly bordering on genius, selfless, charming, musically gifted, generous woman I have ever met” (or words to that effect, I may have added one or two) I said “I can’t believe you are asking me in my pyjamas”. Then, he said “Well you insisted on getting changed into them”, and then we had an argument.
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To be fair, I had insisted on wearing them, and to rewind; my husband and I had been out to dinner, where he intended to propose but found he couldn’t find the words, rendered no doubt speechless by my beauty/intelligence/charm/musical gifts.
Instead, when we returned to our holiday home we were renting at the beach, he suggested a stroll to a nearby lookout to have a glass of champagne overlooking the ocean and beneath a full moon.
I felt this was an excellent idea, but being a bit chilly out, said I would just quickly change into my flannelettes. The lookout, I hasten to add, was very near where we were staying and being late, there was no-one about.
My-now husband looked stricken by this idea and kept saying “Are you sure?” and “let’s just go now”, “it’s not that cold”, and I kept answering “what’s the big deal?”, “I’ll only be a minute” and “it’s freezing” and “why don’t you change into yours too?”.
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This last suggestion he wisely rejected on the grounds that, should we take a photograph of the two of us to mark our engagement, only one of us would be looking like Wee Willie Winkie in it.
So, when he did indeed get down on one knee beneath that gorgeous full moon, I was wearing a pair of pink, flannelette pyjamas, which, momentarily spoiled the moment.
Until we stopped arguing and started laughing and it was just right for us, and just lovely.
Now, the reason I am publicly sharing the fact I got engaged in nightwear is because I am rather glad of it.
I am rather glad I got engaged at a time when these things really could be as simple as that, and not the full scale productions that seem to be demanded latterly.
The advent of social media, most notably Instagram and YouTube has seen many occasions, once considered private affairs, now public extravaganzas.
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I just saw a social media story that followed the engagement of one couple, a five day affair which began with the would-be-groom putting a blindfold on his loved one, then surprising her with a new home, followed by shopping sprees in Beverly Hills, trips to Disneyland, and culminating in a proposal in front of the Eiffel Tower.
Honestly - good luck to the happy couple, but I was exhausted just reading about it. In fact, it made me want to pop on that pair of flannelette pyjamas for a bit of a lie down.
This trend of everything having to be on public display and ever more extravagant really concerns me, because as we all know, it is not the real picture.
The real picture is a nervous, about-to-betrothed man looking at a woman with messy hair, no make-up, and a slightly bloated tummy from dinner, wearing flannelette pyjamas with baby llamas on them, and asking her anyway.
We’re replacing the kangaroo with this? What a waste of $10m
