Divorced women don’t need a new husband, they need a break

Many women share a fantasy of what their life would look like if, one day, their partner suddenly wasn’t there anymore. Lucky for my husband, I know exactly how things would look, writes Frances Whiting.

Good morning, and I do hope you have the prime minister you were wishing for.

If not, don’t worry, there’ll be another one along shortly. They’re a bit like buses, prime ministers, aren’t they?

Although hopefully both major parties’ stricter rules regarding replacing their leaders before their end of term means that we may actually get to keep this one for a full term.

Right, enough politics. I think I can safely say you’ve probably had quite enough of that. Instead, let’s talk about another kind of replacement; the husband variety.

I would like to share a fantasy that many, many, many women have, and no it’s not the one about going to hospital for a bit, or for the more desperate among us, prison.

You know that one, girls, it’s the one where you are sick enough to require some sort of hospital bed stay with no visitors and meals served to you on a tray — some sort of infectious disease perhaps — but not sick enough to be really, really ill or cause great unhappiness to your family.

After her highly publicised separation with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, it’s time for MacKenzie Bezos to join a walking group. Picture: Jerod Harris/Getty

This is a different fantasy, and one that as I walk endlessly around my neighbourhood with my middle-aged friends (middle-aged women are, I have come to discover, OBSESSED with walking) I have found very, very common.

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It is this. Should any one of us lose our partners, through mortality, divorce, infidelity or just plain carelessness, none of us would go looking for another partner to replace him.

Not one of us. Oh, God no.

Could not bear the thought. Especially trying to find a bloke on Tinder or Bumble or any one of those dating sites where you swipe right on an image if you find someone attractive.

Why find a second husband when you could live in the relaxing bliss that is being alone? Picture: Scarnici/Getty

I don’t know if there’s a middle-aged dating equivalent to Bumble — Grumble perhaps — but I

tell you what, my friends and I would not use it.

If John and I ever split — and I sincerely hope we don’t, but if we do it will be because he’s restacked the dishwasher one time too many — I would not look for another man to replace him.

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Do you know what I would do?

I would cuddle up with a good book. I would read, and go on long walks and go to the theatre and travel, and so would all of my friends.

Not because we don’t like men — on the contrary, we like them very much — but because there is something very attractive, after being in a long-term relationship, about suiting yourself.

Also, we don’t wish to iron any more shirts.

@franceswhiting