‘I knew it was the last time I would see them’: Heartbroken mum’s final act for twin babies
Earlier this year, Cassandra Oest gave birth to twins after seven years of trying for a baby. But instead of the happiness she had hoped for, she was met with pure heartbreak.
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Earlier this year Cassandra Oest gave birth to twins after seven years of trying for a baby.
After the birth, her and husband Jake did what many first-time parents do – they invited family to visit, took newborn photographs and snuggled with their new babies.
Only for Cassandra and Jake, their newborns Ellie and Aiden were not alive.
Heartbreakingly after a severe infection forced Cassandra into a premature labour, Ellie was a stillbirth and baby Aiden died only two hours after taking his first breath.
“It was supposed to be beautiful and natural and none of it was,” the 27-year-old told The Advertiser.
“I had gone into the hospital with two babies and I was leaving with none.”
The couple decided to keep Ellie and Aiden with them as Cassandra recovered in hospital for five days following the traumatic birth.
“I wasn’t ready to leave them,” Cassandra, who is a registered nurse, said. “I knew once we left them that was it, that was the last time I was ever going to see them.
“I knew that was the only time that I was ever going to get to hold them, talk to them and do all … the things I wanted to do.”
Jake visited the hospital gift shop and purchased a children’s storybook to fulfil Cassandra’s dream of reading to her children.
“I’m a big reader and it was something that I’ve always wanted to do,” Cassandra said.
The Elizabeth Vale couple had been trying to fall pregnant for seven years.
“I’m the oldest of 10 … I’ve pretty much always wanted to have a big family,” Cassandra said.
But after years of trying, many specialist appointments and a plethora of medications, doctors told the couple they would be unlikely to conceive without IVF.
Three days prior to the couple’s first IVF appointment, on August 26 2023, Cassandra discovered she was pregnant.
“I actually broke down and collapsed on the floor,” Cassandra said. “I was bawling my eyes out.”
At 20 weeks doctors were able to confirm Cassandra was having a boy and a girl and they were progressing “perfectly”.
“Then at the end, the ultrasound tech said ‘I want to check your cervix again’,” Cassandra said.
It was then Cassandra knew something was wrong. Further tests showed Cassandra was one centimetre dilated and her cervix had shortened. She required a cerclage stitch to keep her cervix closed.
Two weeks later doctors discovered Cassandra had chorioamnionitis and needed to be transferred to the Women’s and Children’s Hospital.
“I was told that the only way to clear the infection was to clear my uterus, which obviously meant delivering the twins,” Cassandra said.
“They told me, ‘the twins are only 22 weeks and two days … we can’t help them … but we need to help you’.
“I didn’t expect to be … told my children were going to die and I had no control over it, no say in what happens.”
Cassandra held on for days to try and reach 23 weeks, the marker Cassandra said doctors are able to intervene and attempt to save premature babies.
“They were very, very concerned I was going to become septic and essentially … all three of us would die,” she said.
“But I needed to give these twins every chance they’ve got because I knew that if I made it to Tuesday, when I was 23 weeks, the hospital would intervene and they could at least try to save them.”
Two days shy of 23 weeks Cassandra’s water broke and Ellie and Aiden were born on January 7.
“Ellie was (still) born and they put her straight on my chest … Aiden pretty much came out with one push … he was moving and trying to take little breaths,” Cassandra said.
Jake joined his wife and twin babies in the bed and they lay together as Aiden passed away.
“The midwives took them and they dressed them for us and put them in their little blankets and everything while Jake helped me have a shower,” Cassandra said.
“We pretty much spent the next five days cuddling with them and we laid and watched movies with them and spent time talking to them.”
The day Cassandra was healthy enough to leave the hospital, she packed memory boxes with Ellie and Aiden’s things.
“I just felt numb … I didn’t believe that it was actually happening like that,” Cassandra said.
“I still struggle to look at myself in the mirror because I’m so used to being able to see them and to see my belly.
“We’ve gone through the four hardest things … we got told our children were going to die, I had to give birth to them and hold them while they died, we have to leave them at the hospital which is still something I’m not okay with and then we’ve had to have a funeral for them … that’s not something that’s supposed to happen.
Cassandra and Jake have decided, when they are ready, to try for another baby.
“We know that we’re more than likely going to have to go through a full IVF cycle which is not cheap,” Cassandra said.
“It’s definitely something we want and we’re not done fighting for our family, we’re not done fighting to have a baby.”
If you’d like to donate to Ellie and Aiden’s memorial and support the Oest family, you can here.
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