Dalby mum Elisha Beil shares heartbreak ahead of Mother’s Day
This Mother’s Day will be Elisha Beil’s first since the devastating death of her son, Harrison. Despite her crushing grief, the Dalby mum has opened up about finding strength in motherhood and cherished moments.
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Mother’s Day in the Beil house usually involves a lot of food, games and laughter, but this year the usually-anticipated day will be a more sombre occasion.
This Sunday will be the first Mother’s Day for Elisha without her son Harrison, who was just 21-years-old when he took his own life three months ago following a battle with depression.
Mrs Beil has opened up about the loss and the ongoing heartbreak she felt having her beloved son missing from both everyday life and special events like Mother’s Day.
“Harry would do breakfast with us,” she said.
“He had moved back home for mental health reasons, he just wasn’t coping on his own.”
Mrs Beil let tears fall as she reflected on how devastated she felt that he wouldn’t be sitting at the breakfast table this Sunday.
“I just miss him, and that’s the worst part is missing him,” she said.
“I don’t have anything else to compare it to, it really is the worst feeling in the world.”
Despite the visible heartbreak the mother of three still feels, she and her husband Robert along with daughters Emily, 19 and Katie, 15, have continued to work and keep themselves busy with sporting and social commitments.
“I want them to be happy, I want to be happy too,” she said.
“I don’t like to focus on the negative but you worry that your happiness will never ever come back and I don’t want my kids to feel like that.”
Focusing on her two daughters has been one of the greatest strengths that the mother has found, attributing them as her motivation.
“Mothering is so important right now,” she said.
“At the end of the day it boils down to love and comfort and if they feel love and comfort then that’s my job done but I’ll keep doing that.”
While experiencing great bouts of sadness and hurt the mother finds herself considering other people’s emotions and needs before anything else when she revealed she was concerned about making other mothers feel sadness due to sharing her story.
“I originally thought, ‘I don’t want to make another mum feel sad’,” she said.
“I hate to think of myself as a grieved mother. I hate that label. I just like the label ‘mum’.”
As Mrs Beil reflected on what her fondest moments of motherhood has been she said all of her memories come back to her children growing and succeeding in their goals.
“I’m picturing all of these different things,” she said.
“I picture them being happy with their friends, having financial goals. With Katie and her sports I’m so proud of her for keeping herself involved in them.
“With Emily it’s her independence. She’s an independent young woman and I’m so proud of her. She has an amazing group of friends and they’re so awe inspiring, I’m excited to see what they’re going to keep doing.”
She said looking at Harrison’s life it was the same thing: “I’m super proud of him”.
“I’m going to keep doing my job, but we have done an amazing job.”
In the lead up to Mother’s Day many Dalby residents nominated mothers they believed to be super mums with Mrs Beil being among those recognised.
“Elisha Beil is the best, even in the hardest time of her life so far after the loss of Harrison. Elisha has continued to take care of others, in her family, friends, Harry’s mates, her business and the wider community,” Belinda Hess wrote.
Mrs Beil said she had felt the support from the wider community since Harrison’s passing and appreciated the kind words coming from other residents.
“The community support has been super helpful but very much needed and appreciated,” she said.
“I’ve always said I liked Dalby and love the people, but now this has showed it really is the people I love.”
Mrs Beil was nominated alongside other Dalby mums doing great things within the community.
If you or someone you know needs assistance:
Lifeline on 13 11 14 or www.lifeline.org.au
Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or www.beyondblue.org.au
Your say
Anna Mickelborough
“Awesome mum to three young boys; Swim Fit instructor teaching babies the basics of swimming; home hairdresser to family and friends; travels to the Gold Coast regularly (over the last 12 years) to continue hairdressing service to clients she had prior to her return to Dalby … For Anna nothing is too much trouble at short notice, she takes everything in her stride and it all goes smoothly.” – Sharon Mickelborough
Teghan Salase
“ … She is the best mum to my grandson Elijah, he is such a happy, boisterous and loving kid. After losing baby Justice, she now has another lil man due in July. Teghan is still working full time and is getting ready for our bundle to arrive. I am so proud of her and how hard she works for her gorgeous growing family.” – Elin-Wayne Edmons
Vanessa Firman
“(She) is a police officer, which I think in itself says something about how incredible she is. But not only that, she is a single mother to three well-mannered, beautiful kids. She volunteers her time to multiple different causes in Dalby, including advocating for victims of DV and attending events to raise awareness and money for such a worthy cause … ” – Amy Brown
Cheryl Smith
“(She) is one of the most hard working, inspirational women I’ve ever known. She always puts everyone else first and makes sure everyone is happy and looked after. I’m so proud of her and all of her achievements with her business Beautiful Soul Relaxation Massage …” – Sharna Smith
Emily Velez
“ … She has three amazing and very boisterous little boys that can be very challenging at times but she wouldn’t change it for the world. (She is) also doing uni studies, taking one to paediatrician appointments and working just to give them the best she can …” – Debbie Arnold
Kourtney Inskip
“I have known this woman since she was a teenager, heck, maybe even before that. I have watched her grow, marry and become a mum. She moved away from Dalby with her husband and family for a little while but began to recognise the beauty in community and having her own family close … I am so proud of this woman and how she has overcome and sought solutions that work not just for her children but for her and her husband too …” – Tricia Willson
Kaysey Wilkins
“(She) is the most fabulous mother to her four beautiful children, she has raised these children while her husband works away, they have learnt from the best, Kaysey always puts her family first, she goes above and beyond for her family …” – Jennifer Hallinan
Jolene Shelton
“(She) has two great little guys who are spoiled with extra curricular activities. Jolene encourages them in all avenues including swimming lessons and participating in entries for the Dalby Show (of which they’ve won plenty!).” – Kaitlin Deneen
Valda Burns
“My mother lovingly donated and gave up her kidney to save my sister and make blankets for the homeless. She really is amazing, full of knowledge and does so much for many people.” – Charmaine Miller
Helene Leahy
“A hard working mum, running a successful business while managing a toddler and expecting her second child. She is an inspiration to all of those around her.” – Melissa Cameron
Emma Topp
“(She) has two beautiful babies who are so lucky to have her undivided attention when she isn’t working. Everything she does on her days off is for them, prepping delicious baked goods, taking them to swimming lessons and opening their eyes to books at the library.” – Kaitlin Deneen
Danielle Small
“She is my beautiful daughter, she owns and runs Southern Star Dance schools so she is so busy. She has two little girls Pepper is three and Emery is nearly two, even with her hectic days she is the BEST mum spending time with her mini me’s always her family is her first priority when ever they are together she devotes all her attention to them …” – Karen Wilkin
Kara Mckay
“(She’s) an awesome mum to her three children, such a great friend being there for me when I really need a friend …” – Casey Glenbar
Annette Peterson
“(She) is such a loving mother and grandmother even extending that love to others, always helping and supporting people in our community. We moved to Australia and had no one, she took my wee family under her wing as if we were her own even though she did not know us and I will forever be grateful for her love and support.” – Kylie Ireland
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