Harrison Beil’s Dalby family ‘heartbroken’ after 21-year-old’s sudden death

Shattered parents of a young man who died suddenly say the small Queensland community they call home has been rocked by a spate of suicides in the past month.

The heartbroken mother of 21-year-old boy who died by suicide in February says she constantly replays their last conversation in her head and is haunted by the question of whether she “missed” any red flags.

Before his death, Harrison ‘Harry’ Beil was just like any other 21-year-old – he loved camping, fishing and hunting.

He had nearly finished his apprenticeship as a fitter and turner, loved a drink at the local pub and had recently started a new relationship.

Emily Jayne Beil, 20, Elisha Beil; Robert Beil and Katie-Marie Marvis Beil, 15. Picture: David Martinelli

But on February 11, his mother Elisha Beil was blindsided by the news that her first child and only son had died by suicide.

“You feel your heart break into a million pieces,” she said.

Mrs Beil said Harry was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 10 and, in the years leading up to his death, he had struggled with drug and gambling addictions.

“He hated having (Type 1 diabetes) … from the age of 10 we’ve had ups and downs – probably in those last 11 years, every 3 or 4 years there were some major downs, we would have to intervene and get him back up again, but it would only ever take us about three months and then he would be good,” she said.

“Pokies was his last thing … it was all just too much … (Harry) was quiet by nature but then loved to have a good time with his mates.”

Harrison Beil was just 21 when he took his own life.

The Beil family own Southside Quality Meats and Butchers Pantry Coffee and Takeaway in the tight-knit community of Dalby where several young people have died by suicide in recent weeks.

But Harry’s father Robert Beil said, “death by suicide is not the answer” while Mrs Beil said

there needs to be more mental health services for teenagers and young adults in rural towns.

“We just lost another girl last week … we’ve lost about seven kids in Dalby in the last month and a half,” he said.

“That’s not talked about … people leaving their lives and we are not talking about it … it’s like hushed for some reason.”

Asked about her last conversation with Harry, Mrs Beil said: “It was the day of … Robert and I were away camping, he just rang and asked, ‘Where’s the dog?’ and I said ‘he’s there, remember I told you Reggie’s there’ … it was kind of weird … he asked when we would be home and I said ‘tomorrow, just tomorrow’ … and that was it.”

“I sometimes think ‘was there anything in that conversation that I should have recognised’ … I would have come home … but there was nothing.”

Harrison Beil died by suicide in February, 2023. Picture: David Martinelli

Mrs Beil said Harry’s girlfriend and close mates had spent February 11 with the 21-year-old.

“They were all going out that night for someone’s birthday and (Harry) said ‘No, I just want to stay home’ but nothing was unusual about that,” she said.

“In Dalby there’s only pubs with pokies … I hate it … I love this town and I love this community, but I hate that there’s nothing here for young people.”

Harry’s girlfriend returned to the Beil family home later that night but Harry wasn’t home.

“She thought maybe (Harry) had gone out with his mate because he wasn’t in his bed … it all came out in the morning,” Mrs Beil said.

“I try to not think about (Harry’s) death, because it is the death that is very upsetting.”

Harry had started to turn his life around but Mr Beil said the 21-year-old still felt “burdened”.

“He just couldn’t see the greatness that he was becoming. He had this darkness … but he would never grasp it and ‘let’s move through life’ … he always had this heaviness that carried with him,” he said.

“Now we have to struggle for the rest of our days, every day we get up and feel that he’s not here with us.

Mr and Mrs Beil want more mental health services for young people in country towns. Picture: David Martinelli

“Yeah, he lost his licence, it wasn’t a big deal, we are getting it back in a few months and we are going on holidays … Sunday breakfasts … I’m cooking a barbie and ‘where are you Barry?’ … I’m looking for him … I hear push bikes not coming in anymore.

“I know he will be up there listening, watching and if you’re up there buddy, you know I’m pissed off at this decision … If you’re happy, you’re happy but this was not the right decision to be happy … we need to work through things.”

But Mrs Beil said: “the issue remains that suicide is an option that young people, old people take”.

“I’m now passionate about the fact that you can’t solve everything, you can’t fix the world,” she said.

Mrs Beil has tried to fill the “hole” in her life by speaking to other young adults about suicide and recently joined The Push-Up Challenge, Australia’s largest mental health and fitness initiative where participants take on 3,144 push-ups across 23 days in June, putting the spotlight on the tragic number of lives lost to suicide each year.

“(Harry) chose to leave us … we wish he didn’t make that decision … a person leaves a hole, a gap in your life – you just naturally find yourself wanting to do something for them or in memory of them,” Mrs Beil said.

Harry struggled with drug and gambling addictions. Picture: David Martinelli

“My husband and I went back to the gym just a couple of weeks after … I can’t just hide in my house – now I can really appreciate that life is what you make it, I’m choosing to make it better, choosing to get through this.”

Harry struggled through high school but managed to secure himself an apprenticeship shortly after he left in Year 10.

“He might have only had one or two friends, but it wasn’t enough to keep him happy,” Mrs Beil said.

She said Harry was the protective older brother who wanted to “guide” his sisters Katie-Marie, 15 and Emily, 20, through life.

“He loved them but they were very different … He always wanted to hang out with Emily because they are closer in age … even though he was older, he looked up to Emily … I think Harry really admired her,” Mrs Beil said.

“Katie is a fair bit younger, so they clashed a lot … but he loved (his sisters) … he was always trying to teach Katie, always trying to teach her the wrongs and rights – he was using his own mistakes to guide her.”

Asked whether there were any red flags in the lead up to Harry’s death, Mrs Beil said “no, even in hindsight”.

“We did know about the gambling, and we were constantly on his back, trying to give him other things to do … but in hindsight I wish I had done more,” she said.

Mrs Beil said “grief is just such a process … we have been trying really hard to keep living, you have to try and find happiness,” she said.

“If you asked me a month ago, I would have said ‘I’ll never be happy’ but I have found help in (mediums) … Harry sends us signs – lots of different things will come through and I just know that it is Harry so I’m just trying to focus on that … he’s not here but he is still here.

Mrs Beil said about 550 people attended Harry’s funeral in Dalby.

“(Harry) is special to us but it wasn’t until the funeral that we realised how special he was to so many people.”