How parents are keeping their kids off social media

Parents are resorting to bribes such as cash, cars and holidays in an attempt to keep their children off social media until they turn 18, but a psychologist says it won’t stop them. VOTE IN OUR POLL

Parents are going to extraordinary lengths to keep their children off social media, including splashing cash and promising cars and overseas holidays when they turn 18.

The bribes are kicking in at age 10 and are in response to fear over the potentially damaging impact of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and other online platforms.

Brisbane mother Danielle Westport said she didn’t want her daughter Cleo to become “obsessed with wellness, models and unattainable goals”.

“My wife Linsay and I have real concerns about the detrimental effect social media can have on kids, especially girls and their self-esteem,” Mrs Westport, 40, said.

Mums Danielle and Lynsay Westport are bribing their daughter Cleo to stay off social media from age 10-18 when they intend to reward her with a car. Picture: Steve Pohlner

“I recently heard about a mum paying her child to stay off social media, and while we might be naive in thinking a bribe will work, we think it’s got legs.

“So for every year our daughter refrains from using social media, from the age of 10, we’ll give her money and if she makes it to 18, we’ll give her a car.”

The Wynnum event planner said children needed something concrete to motivate them, be it a piece of jewellery or a trip to Europe. “We’re flexible with what the final reward will be,” Mrs Westport said.

She said social media exposed children to unhelpful and potentially dangerous images and was a huge time waster. “We also don’t want her needing validation from others based on the number of likes and followers.”

Brisbane psychologist Judith Locke said she knew of other parents bribing their kids to stay off social media but it was unlikely to work in most cases.

Psychologist Dr Judith Locke doesn’t believe the bribies will stop children from going on social media. Picture: Jamie Hanson

“It reminds me of those purity ceremonies, where fathers get their daughters to promise not to engage in sexual activity, but research shows those kids are having riskier sex in other ways,” Dr Locke said.

“In an ideal world the whole thing (social media) would be banished, but you can’t blame it for all the evils in society and besides, kids can get hold of phones anywhere and set up accounts parents don’t know about.”

Dr Locke said a preferable approach would be to teach self-regulation skills and resilience.

“The medium itself is not the harm; if parents are worried about their child ending up in some nude photo drama, it’s better to talk to their child about consent and healthy relationships and to raise a child able to make sensible choices that are right for them.”

Dr Locke, who works with schools across Australia on child wellbeing, advised parents to limit social media use.

“Don’t let them on it until they are mature enough, and prove they can handle it on an ongoing basis.

“Set deliberate screen free time as a whole family, such as no phones at the dinner table, and make sure your child has the skills to resist silliness.”

Parenting P58