Kylie Lang: Ignoring problems at elite schools does not serve students

Schools caught out by student scandals should seek to learn from mistakes and unfortunate incidents. But so many past students think exposing the problem is worse than the issue itself, writes Kylie Lang.

Poor behaviour by students at Brisbane Boys College has been exposed in recent times. Picture: Facebook

If you’ve allowed your school to define you – and cause you to ignore or dismiss issues that might taint its public image – try stopping. Immovable pride – in any institution just because you’re part of it – is a dangerous thing.

All too often, ‘old boys’ and ‘old girls’ of private schools, most notably, will feel aggrieved and personally attacked when an alarming issue makes headlines.

It’s as if their own identity has been targeted and found wanting – and it can explain why they close ranks and, like a scene out of the film A Few Good Men, “can’t handle the truth”.

For some people in these tight-knit fan clubs, such as alumni associations, the first instinct is to ask who blabbed.

I’ve written countless articles over many years about schools – independent, religious and state – and that those with strong leadership do best, taking swift and meaningful action.

Shouldn’t the objective be constant improvement through learning from mistakes and unfortunate incidents – and not pretending they didn’t exist?

Ridiculous, really, for anyone to have their sense of self enmeshed in a school – because like first names, they are chosen by someone else, specifically parents.

If I had been able to name myself, I wouldn’t have been Kylie. I rather like Valentina. Had I been in charge of deciding on my schooling, I wouldn’t have left my first one to attend another.

I am grateful my parents sacrificed, including holding down several jobs, to give me a private education from years 1 to 12 – but it was their decision, not mine.

Nudgee College in Brisbane. Picture: NCA NewsWire/Tertius Pickard

So I do have to call out this obsession with old school ties. How is it logical to attend an institution for a few years of your life then allow it to define the rest of your life?

And why do people, particularly in Brisbane, persist in asking where you went to school, and decades after you left, as if your answer determines if you’re an acceptable individual to know? Snobbery or insecurity, perhaps, but it’s a bit silly, not to mention limiting.

This week I interviewed an alumnus of Brisbane Boys’ College who told other old boys to “stop closing ranks and grow a backbone”.

This followed two examples of poor behaviour – BBC boys sharing allegedly serious and potentially illegal nude content on social media, and trashing an Airbnb house during an out-of-control party. Both sparked police investigations.

Some old boys shrugged off the incidents as “boys will be boys” and maintained that BBC always would be a great school.

Last week a parent alerted me to a “disgusting” video made and shared on social media by St Joseph’s Nudgee College boys about St Rita’s girls.

Nudgee said “the behaviour did not meet the standards expected at this college” and was investigating. An appropriate response.

The biggest scandals at Queensland’s elite private schools

Yet some parents like to vent. A Nudgee mum emailed, asking if we “stop to consider the broader impact these stories have”.

“My son loves his school and wears his uniform with pride,” she continued.

“How unfair it is for his pride to be undermined by criticism based on the actions of a few.”

Hmmm. Pride, in any school, is to be earned and not automatically present because of its perceived pedigree – or the significant financial price parents pay for their kids to belong.

The broader impact is why it matters.

I like how a parent in a general Brisbane schools chat group put it when another questioned why the story was newsworthy: “Because silence protects the wrong people.

“Parents, schools and the public need to be informed so we can guide our children, hold institutions accountable and create a culture of respect – not secrecy.

“If girls from St Rita’s or any other school are affected, their experiences matter.

“Brushing it aside minimises the harm and perpetuates a dangerous silence.

“We must talk about it – loudly, honestly and without shame.”

Principals and teachers have to deal with problems that didn’t exist when I was a kid – with social media enemy number one.

But it’s time past students and current parents wearing rose-coloured glasses ditch them in favour of perspective.

Schools are complex entities and will never be perfect.

They may shape a person, but they should not define them.

Kylie Lang is associate editor of The Courier-Mail

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