Readers rail at school bullying policies in response to Charlotte’s sad death

The grieving parents of Charlotte, 12, who killed herself after being bullied have expressed ‘disappointment” with the school’s response. Readers reveal they’re not alone. Here’s what they said.

• Grieving father ‘disappointed’ in school’s response
• ‘Mama please share my story’: Charlotte’s final wish

The grieving parents of a 12-year-old Sydney year 7 student who killed herself after being bullied have expressed their deep ‘disappointment” with Santa Sabina College’s response.

They’re not alone.

Many readers touched by Charlotte’s sad death, and final plea that her story be told shared similar experiences of desperation at other schools as they tried to protect their kids.

Many found moving schools, or taking their children out of the formal system altogether to home school them the only options.

Others said all the policies in the world won’t work unless the bullies themselves are addressed, and lamented privacy concerns that prevent the actual bullies being identified.

“If it was my child and after approaching the school and also recording every interaction and if nothing was done I would go straight to the police,” wrote Lynette. “Don’t be fooled by people who say they don’t know what they are doing.”

Charlotte tragically died by suicide on September, 9 2024. Picture supplied by her family.

SCHOOLS’ ROLE IN PREVENTION

“If a young child is continually being bullied, it is brought to the school’s attention, and they do nothing to intervene, the school should be named and shamed. Protect our kids please, or at the very least try,” wrote KJM.

Greg’s son is mercilessly bullied at school.

“My heart is broken for this family. My son has been a target and remains so — but it’s the same story every time,” he said.

“The school ‘investigates’ and reassures those responsible are being ‘dealt with’,

“They won’t say who they are for privacy reasons, but last time they wouldn’t even say what punishment they got.

“They get a suspension and come back to school bragging … and go on to do it all over again.

“The ‘policies’ do not work. I fully back Charlotte’s parents’ calls for the schools to re-examine their approaches.”

Greg’s son has been offered counselling. He says bullies should also be counselled to understand the ramifications of their actions.

Suzanne’s daughter is at her fourth school in 12 months.

“We had her homeschooling prior to that for 18 months. We even repeated her back to year 6 from year 7 to try and boost her maturity and growth in comparison to her peers,” Suzanna said.

“She started getting bullied because she is slender. Running from toxic behaviour when it is in every classroom is impossible. The only advice or answer we are ever given from school or doctors, and even family and friends is ‘you’re going to find those kids everywhere’.

People thought Bob was “crazy” for moving his son to different schools until “I found a good one”.

“Don’t expect the school to do anything … Don’t send them back to be abused,” he said.

“I can’t imagine paying a psychologist for advice that suggests staying one more day in an abusive environment.”

Ted said referring to “policies” is a cop-out.

“Saying ‘the anti-bullying policy is on our website’ does not solve the issue of school bullying, only direct intervention can do that,” he said.

Parents are also the problem, some said: “Often parents don’t want to hear that their little darling could be a bully. Then attack the school for how they handle things. Can’t win either way,” said M.

“The majority of parents of bullies will go on the offensive if called up to the school, insisting that their child can do no wrong,” said Greg.

Kas said removing kids from the bullying situation was paramount.

“All I want to emphasise to parents going through the pain of their child being bullied at school (is) do not hesitate to just remove them and then work out what to do next,” Kas said.

THE BULLIES AND THEIR PARENTS

Others spoke of the consequences of bullying going seemingly unchecked.

“This type of behaviour goes from the schoolyard to the workplace,” said Sharon

“I hope that the ones behind this unnecessary death will remember this for the rest of their lives,” said Hayley.

Diahann took matters into her own hands: “My daughter went though this. The school did nothing … so I went to the houses of the girls bullying her and fronted the kids parents. The bullying stopped almost immediately,” Diahann wrote.

“Yes, the school needs to act on the bullying but kids need to be controlled and disciplined by their parents. It’s not up to schools to teach kids morals. I really feel for this family and poor Charlotte. Sorry you were let down by our pathetically soft system.”

Mel suggested outing bullies: “Name and shame all those who bullied her to end her young life. Let them know what it’s like to be bullied, maybe they might understand the feelings and hurt she felt before she ended her life.

“From our experience, the kids who bully and exclude are unaware of their behaviour being damaging to their victims” said Lisa.

“Their parents believe their version of the story and don’t appreciate their child is troublesome. The pattern continues after school and they become mean adults.

Ted wants to be told by the school if his child is suspected of bullying.

“The one thing that schools don’t do is start to involve the parents of the kids that are doing the actual bullying. I want to know if my child is bullying others” he said

“Call me up to the school! Put my kid in the spotlight! Kids are so mean these days, but when they’re put on the spot and their behaviour is cast for all to see, it would surely be a big step in stopping it in future.

“It’s almost like the schools are too frightened of being sued. They prefer to ‘handle it in their own way’ — in house.”

Readers said social media means the bullying doesn’t stop at the school gate.

SOCIAL MEDIA

Others took aim squarely at ever-present phones and social media.

“Children need to have “no phone” times, maybe after 5pm everyday …. The torture of bullying on phones when kids are tired is not healthy,” wrote Tina.

“Schools have limited to no power. Report abuse to the police. Especially online stuff,” said Ron.

“Bullying no longer stops at the front gate, it is relentless with technology, it is 24/7,” said Eric

“Some facing this issue have given their children a ‘dumb’ phone and even that is taken away at night,” wrote Louise.

“No contact with anyone outside the family at night and weekends. They may miss out on some social events (but usually not) and they may complain bitterly and endlessly to parents and friends but they have the excuse that my parents are evilly strict and thus they are saved from hours a day of this stupid, vapid and often dangerous chat.”

LOVE AND SUPPORT

Others had nothing but love and support for Charlotte and her parents.

“Charlotte’s mum should never feel she has not done enough. As a mum she just did the typical thing. There’s no rule book to being parents. Stay strong. Live for Charlotte and the others,” wrote Catherine.

“Unfortunately, Charlotte’s story is not a one-off. I am so sorry you were hurting so badly Charlotte. I hope you have found your peace and know how much you were loved,” said Ted.

Originally published as Readers rail at school bullying policies in response to Charlotte’s sad death