Darwin Men’s Shed co-founder Peter Hendy shares father’s heartbreaking ageing story

Darwin men’s shed co-founder Peter Hendry shares the day he will never forget, as new research shows what Territorians fear the most about getting older.

As Peter Hendy saw his father lose friends with each passing year, he realised that ageing was not just hard on the body.

“He had a lifelong group of friends and when the last of them died, he couldn’t even go to the funeral because it was just too hard for him,” Mr Hendry, 63, said of his father, Peter senior.

“One of my best mates was his son, and at the funeral I had to apologise to him and say, ‘I’m sorry, he just can’t be here’.”

Peter senior passed away two years ago at 81, but seeing his father grow older led Mr Hendry to co-found Darwin’s first men’s shed back in 2011.

Darwin Men's Shed public officer Peter Hendy. Picture: Pema Tamang Pakhrin

Since then, it has swelled to more than 50 active members that regularly meet and practice craftwork at their Coconut Grove clubhouse.

New research by national advocacy group LiveUp revealed 87.5 per cent of Territorians aged 50-plus worry about the consequences of getting older, particularly losing social connections.

“Many men who are retired in most instances are staying at home, unhappy, and in most circumstances, all on their own,” Mr Hendry said.

LiveUp community engagement professional John Bradshaw with Darwin Men's Shed public officer Peter Hendy at the workshop. Picture: Pema Tamang Pakhrin

“They might have lost their partner, or they’re a long way away from their families. They just want somewhere to go where they can relax a bit and not feeling like they have to bare their souls – they can speak as little or as much about what’s going on in their lives.

“We wanted to show older men they could help people by using the skills they already had … It might be metalwork, gardening, carpentry, whatever, but it’s just fantastic to seem them doing it.”

The Darwin Men’s Shed members have also raised “thousands” for charity through fundraisers according to Mr Hendry, and even built possum boxes and other emergency animal enclosures for the 2021 east coast floods.

LiveUp community engagement professional John Bradshaw said that mental health research showed that “getting out with others is the key to improving health”.

“You are often confronted with unique challenges as you grow older, including

concerns about declining health, loss of independence, and changes in your physical

and mental capabilities,” Mr Bradshaw said.

“However, staying connected is a great way to look after yourself and maintain your independence.”

Originally published as Darwin Men’s Shed co-founder Peter Hendy shares father’s heartbreaking ageing story