Theatre power couple reveal why they want to inspire a generation

This Australian theatre’s power couple reveal what it’s like dating an actor, how they handle success and why they want to inspire a generation.

THEY’RE one of Australian theatre’s power couples. Stephen Madsen is currently on Brisbane stages starring in Muriel’s Wedding The Musical while his partner, Queensland-born Matthew Backer is a Play School favourite. The couple reveal what it’s like dating an actor and how they hope to inspire a generation. Here is there story:

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Matthew Backer, 34, actor, Brisbane born but lives in Sydney

For ages, a mutual friend of ours was keen to set us up. I didn’t know much about Steve before we met, I only knew he was also an actor. The friend of ours brought Steve along to watch me play Ariel in The Tempest at the Sydney Opera House. They introduced us at the end of the show in the foyer, then, rather unsubtly, left us alone to ‘go get drinks.’ Steve and I have been left chatting ever since.

Brisbane born Matthew Backer and his partner Stephen Madsen at a theatre in Sydney where they met.

I laugh when I think back on that moment. The first time Steve saw me in person, I had bleach-blond hair and was walking on stage like a fairy (Ariel is a spirit). I suppose I did something right.

I knew Steve was a performer, and a good one too because I’d heard people talk about him in Heathers: The Musical. They raved about him. Soon after we met, Steve started working in Rent. This was the first time I saw him perform and I was blown away by his talent. I still am. It’s amazing to be dating another actor and be so inspired by them.

The industry can be tough but having constant support from someone who really gets it is huge. You’re constantly judged and that can start to impact you. But sadly, it’s
a feeling I’ve grown to know having grown up as a gay man.

I was born in Brisbane between Camp Hill and Tingalpa and even though I live in Sydney now, I’m wholeheartedly a Queenslander. My dad, Brad Backer, played for Queensland in the State of Origin in 1981 and 1982. I’m grateful my parents have always been supportive of me and encouraged me to be who I am and do what I want to do. But not everyone has been that way. I had a tough time at school and was bullied. It was awful but it helped me build the resilience I needed as an actor, something I always wanted to do.

I initially wanted to become a journalist but loved acting. In 2007, I was accepted into NIDA and in 2008, I moved to Sydney. I’ve been in lots of productions over the years but for the last Two-and-a-half years, I’ve been on Play School.

Matthew Backer from Play School

It’s the most wonderful job, I have to pinch myself at how lucky I am. I also get to tour with the concert series and meet the kids. The kids, and more so their parents, recognise me now and that’s a big thrill. It’s also a huge coup for my nephews to have their uncle on television.

The best thing for me though, is going through life side-by-side with Steve. He’s been there for me through everything. In June, 2017, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was incredibly tough for all of us.

I was rehearsing in Cloud Nine for the Sydney Theatre Company during the day and performing Only Heaven Knows at the Hayes Theatre in the night then trying to be there for my mum.

It was challenging but Steve got me through. As well as being a wonderful partner, he’s incredibly talented.

I’ve seen him in Muriel’s Wedding The Musical about seven times, he’s so bloody good in it and perfect for that role. Not to mention, he looks incredible. Those abs. A lot of people want to know his fitness secrets after seeing him come out of the pool in the show.

I owe a lot to Steve. He allowed me to be myself. Before I met him, I was quite protective of myself and closed. A lasting impact of being bullied, I suppose. I didn’t want to get hurt again and never allowed myself to show who I really was. We’re proud to be able to share our story. It would have meant a great deal to me as a teenager struggling to like or accept myself to read something like this on a strong gay couple working in the arts together. It’s a reminder that it’s OK to be yourself and Steve has always championed that for me. He immediately loved me for me, warts and all, which is all one can ask for.

Stephen Madsen, 27, actor, Sydney

I met Matt at the Sydney Opera House when I watched him in The Tempest. I’d heard his name being thrown around and was keen to see him in action. We hit it off from the beginning but to be honest, I was really intimidated by him. There’s a seven-year age gap between us and I couldn’t get over his talent and experience. He
was incredible.

When we met, I was pretty shy but Matt has this way of putting anyone at ease. He’s funny, smart and immediately, I knew he was the one for me. We exchanged numbers and ended up hanging out every day for about two weeks. We went to the movies, out for lunch, dinners and couldn’t get enough. We gained momentum quickly and a few weeks after we met, I asked him if he wanted to make it official.

We make a really solid team, both personally and creatively. We’re supportive of each other and helped each other through really challenging things.

As an actor, you’re dealing with a lot of rejection and that can impact your mental health. You can really question your self-worth. To protect yourself, you put up an armour because people say ‘no’ to you more times than they say ‘yes.’ There’s a lot of judgment and as a young gay man, that feeling is all too familiar. But I’ve been lucky to have huge support from my family and from Matt. It’s important to have Matt to come home too. He’s my biggest fan and I’m his. He’s such a star on Play School, he’s wonderful to watch and the kids love him. He was born for that gig.

Stephen Madsen from Muriel's Wedding the stage show, pictured at The Lyric Theatre in Pyrmont. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

I’m there cheering for him and he’s always cheering for me no matter what. Of course the industry we’re in has its lows but the rewards more than make up for it. I wouldn’t change a thing. I always wanted to be an actor. I loved doing plays and musicals at school and I knew that’s what
I wanted to do. It helps enormously having a partner in the same industry and somebody who gets it.

The hours are crazy, the work is sporadic and we’re both so busy. We’re lucky we have a small age gap because we’re never going for the same roles and we’re not pitted against each other. There’s never any competition between us.

I’ve lost count how many times Matt has seen me in Muriel’s Wedding The Musical. I play the Olympic swimmer, Alexander Shkuratov. It can be a bit nerve-racking because I’m in DTs but I’ve made sure I’ve kept a good fitness regimen. I ride an hour
a day to and from the theatre for rehearsals, do four to six weight-training sessions a week at the gym and swim laps a few times a week to keep up the swimmer shape. I’m also a vegetarian so I eat regularly and healthily to maintain the muscle mass. I’m naturally quite a lean guy.

It’s nice to be in Brisbane so Matt’s family can see the show but I can see where he grew up. Matt means the world to me. He makes me laugh, he’s smart and I like the person I am when I’m around him. He makes me feel safe.

Muriel’s Wedding The Musical runs at QPAC until October 26