Rory Gibson on the ‘blatant lie’ all women tell men

There is one thing women always say at the start of any relationship that is a blatant lie, columnist Rory Gibson says. And it’s causing marital tension.

THE first night the woman who would become my wife stayed at my house, she said something she didn’t mean and later came to regret.

The background: because much of my newspaper life involved working at night, I used to watch some wacky TV. It led me to become a fan of American football, because the late Don Lane, an expat Yank, hosted a weekly round-up of what was happening in the NFL and would also explain the rules and nuances of play. There was also a match replay. It screened at about midnight.

When I let Kate into the house on that first night of our 20 years together, she asked to use the bathroom. While I waited for her I grabbed the remote and fired up the TV so I could see who was playing and what the score was. A few minutes later my new girlfriend reappeared.

I turned off the box, eager to show her the wall-hangings in my boudoir. It was then she uttered the words that would come back to haunt her.

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“Keep watching. I DON’T WANT YOU TO CHANGE ANYTHING BECAUSE OF ME.”

As any man who has had a relationship with a woman knows, this was a blatant lie. Women make it their life’s mission to change the men in their lives.

U on Sunday columnist Rory Gibson at the beach. Picture: Nigel Hallett

Most of the time this is not a bad thing. But Kate’s frequent attempts thereafter to unscramble my egg were thwarted when I reminded her of those words, because of course it brought into play doubts about her truthfulness – or at least that’s how I positioned it.

Love is a battlefield, so the song goes, and men need all the help they can get.

My mate Gazza is growing his hair longer. He’s got good hair. He’s also added a horseshoe moustache. No reason, just because he can. His wife is nagging him incessantly to cut it all back to what it’s been like for the past 30 years.

We caught up for a beer, and his marital tension was the first item on the agenda. “Why do women want to change men all the time?” he asked in exasperation.

Many beers later we still hadn’t unearthed an answer.

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