The cheat sheet for a happier life, according to a psychologist

Work smarter, not harder

Here's why ditching the pressure to read 427 self-help tomes or set lofty resolutions and opting for a more practical approach in 2025 could be the secret to finding – and holding onto – joy.

 

There’s something about the start of a new year that feels almost magical. It’s as if we give ourselves an internal permission slip to wipe the slate clean and look ahead to our future with optimism and a renewed sense of hope.

While much of this is undoubtedly a construct that exists more in our minds than anywhere else, there’s a reason more self-help books are published in January than at any other time of year as for many of us, January is when we finally find the time to self-reflect and conduct a mini life audit of sorts.

“There’s a collective focus on ‘starting fresh’ with the new year, which creates an expectation that we should all be setting goals.” explains clinical psychologist, Sarah Garby. “Social media, marketing campaigns, and even casual conversations amplify this, encouraging us to strive for self-improvement and jump on the resolutions bandwagon.”

But even if we don’t play into the pressure to set official New Year’s resolutions, it’s only human for us to want to do more, be happier and find more joy as we move through our lives. “Many of us genuinely value growth and achievement, so the idea of setting resolutions can feel exciting and motivating,” says Garby. “But it can also bring a sense of overwhelm or pressure, especially when goals are overly ambitious or don’t align with what we truly need.”

To help mitigate any sense of disappointment, however, Garby says it’s important not to get swept up in what everyone else is doing. “Over time, it’s become the norm to reflect and make resolutions leaving many of us feeling like we should do it – even if it doesn’t feel meaningful. The key is finding a balance: setting intentions that resonate with you personally.”

So with that in mind, perhaps instead of feeling the pressure to read 427 self-help tomes or set lofty resolutions that, in reality, are far too big or vague to tackle – we should opt for a more practical approach in 2025. Perhaps we could even ‘cheat’ our way to happiness by thinking more broadly about what actually brings us joy.

Perhaps we could even ‘cheat’ our way to happiness by thinking more broadly about what actually brings us joy. Image: Pexels

According to Garby, finding happiness begins with our values. “Happiness isn’t about grand gestures or ticking off every item on a to-do list – it’s about living a life guided by your values and finding meaning in the small, intentional actions you take each day.”

“Your values act as a compass, guiding your actions and decisions toward a life that feels fulfilling and authentic,” she says. “Think of values as the qualities or principles that matter most to you – kindness, growth, connection, or creativity, for example. They’re not specific goals but ongoing actions that give direction to your life.”

And if you’re unsure what your values are, Garby suggests asking yourself the following questions:

• What do I want my life to stand for?
• What kind of person do I want to be?
• How do I want to show up in my relationships, work, or community?

Once you’ve identified your values, break them into small, actionable goals. Image: Pexels

“Once you’ve identified your values, break them into small, actionable goals,” advises Garby. “If connection is a key value, for example, schedule regular coffee dates with friends or take five minutes each day to connect with loved ones. Keeping it simple and intentional helps you focus on what really matters.”

It’s also vital to practise self-compassion and kindness. “We’re often our own worst critics,” says Garby. “But practising self-compassion – treating yourself with the kindness you’d offer a friend – makes all the difference. Growth happens in the small, imperfect moments, and that’s okay.”

“But just as we care for our bodies, mental maintenance is essential. Checking in with a professional, even when things feel fine, can help you stay on track and build resilience. The struggle is real, but there’s always someone to listen,” Garby says. And drop the perfectionism in your pursuit of happiness. “Happiness isn’t about chasing perfection. It’s about leaning into what feels meaningful, embracing small steps, and remembering that even the tiniest shifts can create a ripple effect.”

Cheating your way to a happier life could also be as simple as compartmentalising your focus. “Breaking happiness into key areas – relationships, work, friendships, leisure and personal growth – helps us focus on what truly matters,” says Garby. “Here’s a quick guide:

Connection is the heart of joy in relationships. Image: Pexels

Relationships

Connection is the heart of joy in relationships. Think about what you value – kindness, honesty, quality time – and look for small ways to prioritise them. Regular check-ins or showing appreciation can strengthen your bonds.

Work/Education

Happiness at work often comes from feeling aligned with your values. Whether it’s creativity, growth, or helping others, finding ways to bring these into your day can make work feel more meaningful.

Friendships

Strong friendships thrive on care and connection. If life’s been busy, reach out—a quick text or planning a catch-up can reignite your connection.

Leisure

Leisure often takes a backseat, but it’s so important. Whether it’s a creative hobby, time in nature, or simply reading a book, make space for what brings you joy, even if it’s just a few minutes a day.

Personal Growth and Health

Personal growth and health are key to overall happiness. Think about what growth looks like for you – learning something new, being kind to yourself, or focusing on movement and nourishment.”

At the end of the day, while we inherently know there is no single track to happiness – or a rulebook to live by that will deliver the joy and contentment we crave – as Garby says, “happiness isn’t about doing it all; it’s about focusing on what feels meaningful and taking small, intentional steps.” The most important thing is to be clear about what we want as we do our best to become the best versions of ourselves possible. “And remember,” says Garby, “it’s all about mindful maintenance – because we’re all a work in progress.”

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Originally published as The cheat sheet for a happier life, according to a psychologist