‘I felt embarrassed … and even worse, unAustralian’: Sunrise presenter Edwina Bartholomew’s confession

The Sunrise presenter reveals what she really thinks about Australian sporting codes – and the reason she calls herself a ‘fraud’.

Pack away the party pies for another year – the footy season has wrapped up.

In case you need a recap, the Brisbane Lions roared and the Sydney Swans took a dive. In the NRL, the mighty Penrith Panthers delivered a historic fourth consecutive premiership, with talk already of a fifth next year.

Do I sound like a convincing sports nut … or can you tell I am a total footy fraud?

You see, I didn’t grow up with a team; we never had the footy blaring from the TV at home, the esky packed next to the couch with Mum and Dad’s drink of choice or mates over for a big barbecue. When I was a young girl, the ALFW and NRLW weren’t national competitions yet and, although the Matildas kicked off in 1974, they didn’t capture the attention of kids in the early ’80s like they have this generation.

In her latest column for Stellar, Sunrise star Edwina Bartholomew, pictured wearing Witchery, has called herself a ‘total footy fraud’ for her lack of dedication to Australian sporting codes. Picture: Witchery

I didn’t think too much about it until the AFL Grand Final last month. I was walking through Fed Square in Melbourne when a Swans fan, decked out in red and white, asked what team my kids were supporting.

I didn’t have an answer, so I mumbled something footy-ish and walked away, feeling strangely embarrassed and even worse, un-Australian. Am I letting my own side down by not indoctrinating my children with a love of our national codes from an early age?

The answer, says my sports-mad mate Matt, is a resounding yes. Asked to describe what it’s like to love a team, he told me: “A win isn’t just a win. It’s an unbridled eruption of increasingly elusive dopamine and that curious thing one might call ‘life force’.

To hear the elderly, the young, the fanatical and the hysterical hurling abuse – to truly revel in that passion – is to go close to the meaning of life.”

In my defence, I’ve made sure the kids have every kind of sporting apparatus at home.

My two-year-old son often sleeps with a Sherrin but doesn’t yet equate the bright red ball with the game of AFL.

Cheer, cheer the red and the white? Edwina Bartholomew is conflicted about Aussie sports such as the AFL (pictured are the Sydney Swans during their Grand Final loss at the MCG in September). Picture: Phil Hillyard

My almost-five-year-old daughter often wears the obligatory Matildas jersey but I think she just loves the colour yellow. We’re a far way from revelling in a passion that reveals the meaning of life.

Let’s start with historical allegiance. My husband’s family are big Parramatta Eels fans.

Makes sense, right? They won three premierships in a row in the early ’80s, when he and his siblings were born. Sadly, it’s been slim pickings since, and yet the annual exchange of Parra paraphernalia continues unabated.

We didn’t receive the usual kit when our kids were born because my husband’s devotion died out around the same time that legendary halfback Peter Sterling stopped playing in the late ’80s. Looks like the Eels are out of contention as our home team.

Perhaps I should decide by team song? “Cheer, cheer the red and the white/Honour the name by day and by night.”

The Swans’ song has a ring to it. “Go the mighty mountain men/We’re here to be the best.”

I could get on-board with the Panthers, but it seems the easy option to back a team already on a high.

Geography? Colour of the jersey? Picked out of a hat? Should we select the underdogs so our kids experience the collective suffering and solidarity of the annual wooden spoon? That feels a bit cruel.

I’ve settled on this equation: by triangulating the birth year of my children with their favourite colours and short attention spans, we’ll choose: the Swans but only until half time; the Panthers but only when they wear pink jerseys; the Matildas all the time; the Sydney Sixers because T20 cricket is short and sweet, and has fireworks. “Faster, higher, stronger … confused” will be our family motto. Bring on next season.

Edwina Bartholomew is a presenter on Sunrise on the Seven Network. Read Edwina’s full column in the latest issue of Stellar.

For more from Stellar and the podcast, Something To Talk About, click here.

Originally published as ‘I felt embarrassed … and even worse, unAustralian’: Sunrise presenter Edwina Bartholomew’s confession