Edwina Bartholomew: Asking your child to consent to a nappy change is absurd

In the parenting Olympics, nappy changing combines jujitsu, Roman-Greco wrestling and shot put skills, says Edwina Bartholomew.

I’m training for the Olympics. I’m not a swimmer, can’t play tennis and I’m pretty useless at the 10m air pistol.

No matter, this is the parenting Olympics. The first event; nappy changing. It combines some of the skills of jujitsu with Greco-Roman wrestling and shot put to throw the nappy in the bin with only one spare hand.

This is not a team sport. Instead you are up against a mini, poo covered opponent who always seems one step ahead of the competition.

That’s why I find the suggestion that you ask your child to give consent before changing their nappy to be a little absurd.

As reported this week, staff from Only About Children childcare centres suggest making nappy changes “respectful” and to ask toddlers for “co-operation”.

A newsletter went out to parents with nappy-changing tips that included waiting for toddlers to stop playing before changing their nappy because they “don’t like to be interrupted”.

It also suggested to “Ask for your baby’s help, talk them through what you are doing and encourage the use of senses”.

Edwina Bartholomew and her daughter. Picture: Instagram

Finally, “When toddlers become mobile, nappy changing may look quite different. Continue to ask for co-operation but understand that your toddler may wish to now stand for their nappy change”.

I completely agree with the need to show respect to your child at any age.

We always have a conversation about what we are doing, get her to help where we can, and as for the senses, that sense of smell is definitely activated for the whole family during the nappy-changing process.

We also do adapt and change nappies standing up but not by choice.

That risky technique has already claimed a number of rugs in our house as my slippery little toddler outruns the nappy and my reach or she flicks open the tabs on the side with a cheeky glint in her eye.

Asking for consent is a nice thought but just not practical on a day-to-day basis when you are juggling Sudocrem, wipes and nappies with a less than co-operative small person.

Reading advice like this from well-meaning childcare providers leaves me feeling like I’m not a good parent.

I did briefly think about revising our at-home policies. Instead I’m going to settle on a compromise.

I will start asking for permission to change my child’s nappy when she starts asking permission prior to a poo-nami. That feels like an even playing field.

Originally published as Edwina Bartholomew: Asking your child to consent to a nappy change is absurd