‘Never thought I’d see this day’: The insane trend making a comeback

I never thought I’d see this day, but this crazy trend from the 80s is back ladies, Frances Whiting writes.

Guess what’s back ladies?

All right, girls (and when I say girls, I mean middle aged women), it’s time to break out the Aquanet. Also the L’oreal Studio Line mousse. Also someone should probably warn the world’s climate scientists that the hole in the ozone layer is about to be in even bigger danger. Because - and honestly, I never truly really thought I’d see this day - big hair is back.

Yes, from the eighties. Yes with the weird, scrunched front fringe.

Several variations of eighties hair have been seen on the catwalk in London recently, including in the latest collections from Vivianne Westwood and 16Arlington, both brands often setting the trends of what is to come.

Big hair is back, just like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.

And what is to come is apparently hair so big you never have to take a handbag out with you again, because you can just pop your keys and wallet in there and be done with it.

Now the reason I never thought I would see this day come is that while I predicted, as the international fashion trend spotter that I am, the return of both the bodysuit and the bubble skirt, hair from the eighties just seemed a bridge too far.

It was just so extreme, wasn’t it? It was so over-the-top, it was so excessive, it was so... rock hard.

I don’t know about you, but my hair in the eighties was so hard from all the maximum strength gel and mousse and holding spray I’d loaded it up with, it could have withstood a category four cyclone.

And it was big. How big? Well, as we used to say: ‘The higher the hair, the closer to God.’

To achieve it such lofty heights, you would have to wash and blowdry your hair, then backcomb it to within an inch of its life, then tease it with a special comb that looked a little bit like a pitchfork, then flip your head over and do it again, only from the back and upside down, then flip it back again, grab your industrial strength hairspray and hit that nozzle until all the spray had run out, or you had passed out from the fumes.

Then - no, I’m not finished yet , we haven’t even got to the fringe, you would section off the front part of your hair, apply more mousse, take the back of your hand, and sort of smoosh the hair against your forehead round and around in a circular motion until you had reached the desired effect. Which was to make your fringe look like a brillo brush. Or a small nest.

Sarah Ferguson. Picture: Gareth Fuller

Then - no wonder I had a headache for the entire eighties - you would choose a bow - I blame Sarah Ferguson - also the bigger the better, tie it up, and stagger out the door under the weight of your own head.

It was, as I said, a lot. But it was also fun. So much fun. I remember getting ready with my girlfriends at each other’s house’s and laughing uncontrollably while we were doing it. We’d be falling about laughing because it was so hilarious - either that or we were all as high as our hair on chemical fumes from our products.

FRAN LOVES: Movie World’s Fright Nights. The theme park comes alive at night with all sorts of things that go bump in the night. Too scary for me, but my son and his mates loved it! Bookings essential for this great night out. Go to the website for all details.