Gold sandals and semi-dried tomatoes: Mel Buttle’s 19-point guide to Mother’s Day

Running a bit behind and still wondering what to get your mum for mother's day tomorrow? Mel Buttle has you sorted. Here are the things that all mums like.

It’s Mother’s Day weekend, heres your heads up, get yourself to a David Jones and buy some soap with two scents, something like Lime and Lillypilly, trust me it’s what mums like. I think I have a pretty solid insight into what mums dig.

Let’s be clear here, I mean mums as in my mum, this list applies to women over 55. Not your young, cool, yummy mummies with their tri wheeled prams and toddlers called Finn eating hummus in an Oxford Street cafe.

Here’s my surefire guide to things all mums of a certain age love:

White, three quarter length pants, I’m not sure why but once mums are over 50 it’s their ankles time to shine.

Gold sandals, scan your eyes down from the 3/4 length pants, I guarantee you they’ll be a gold sandal.

Geoff Jansz, Geoff was a bit of mid morning crumpet back in the 90’s that mums still hold dear to their hearts.

The delightful Geoff Jansz.

Any new cleaning system that requires a special cloth and one product that does it all. A mitt, a microfibre cloth, all these things are very tempting to a mum.

Semi dried tomatoes, mums will put them in a salad, on a sandwich, they’re on a cheese board, semi dried tomatoes are how mums show they’re a little but fancy.

All mums hit an age where they find themselves having two handbags, a ‘good one’, and another one that has their lunch and a crossword book in it.

A Touch of Frost, Midsomer Murders, any long winded British crime drama is like catnip to mums.

A Touch of Frost anyone?

Spending an entire Saturday afternoon in Kmart, and walking out with two full bags of things that, ‘might come in handy’.

Mums are the only people who buy and use odour eaters in their shoes.

Mums love creamy pastas, a carbonara, or a creamy chicken pesto pasta are purely on the menu in case a group of mums come in.

Phone cases that look like books and have a little charm hanging off them, on the topic of phones, their phone is always in the very bottom of a huge handbag, with either the screen saver the phone came with or their grandkids.

A long coffee order, half strength, extra hot, skinny cappuccino in a mug is the favoured drink of mums.

Mums have a friend that has a weird nickname, she’s known, ‘since before you were even thought of’, this woman’s real name is Pauline, but your mum calls her Nance.

All mums have a friend called Lyn, fact.

Fancy soaps must have two scents.

Nice soap, for your reference, nice soap has two or more scents, the more scents the fancier, Basil, Lemon Verbena, Goats Milk and Citrus is more beloved by mums than, Pomegranate and Sage.

Mums love keeping receipts and cross checking them off their credit card statement, just to be sure.

Mums spell out things in front of your little cousins in case they get too excited or refuse to go to, p-l-a-y-g-r-o-u-p.

I would bet my house on this, all mums have a welcome sign in the hall or door mat, they’ll have something made of shells in the home and a comical magnet on the fridge about getting old.

Mums possess a burning desire to fly business class, ‘even if it’s just to say I’ve done it’.

Have a great mother’s day tomorrow!