'What if the baby isn't white?' I have a story just like Meghan Markle's

 "I liked you, Kate Middleton, but not now if all the rumours are true: that you're a racist."

This sad, and frankly ridiculous, tale of who said what about Archie's skin colour started way back in 2018, when some socialite shared she was worried that Meghan Markle's unborn baby would "taint the royal seed."

Yes, those were the words she used.

I remember it clearly, because I have a biracial kid whose skin is as white as proverbial snow, so I paid attention. Then, in 2021, I watched as Meghan revealed to Oprah that two senior members of the Royal family - that is, her family, the family she had married into - had also expressed concern about the tone of her unborn baby's skin.

And now, in 2023, I'm carefully observing the world react to Catherine, Princess of Wales, being outed as apparently one of those senior royals, along with King Charles.

The revelation is not surprising, I suppose, but it is deeply disappointing. 

I'd held high hopes for the impact Meghan would make on the traditional British Royals, but instead, all I've seen is an utter sh*tshow. And I'm not just talking about that terrible Netflix special.

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Let's blame it on Omid Scobie's book

So, to be fair, if Omid Scobie had perhaps thought of the children, we wouldn't have this fresh debacle. Instead, he was thinking of his wallet. Shame.

But Scobie must have been confident enough naming Charles and Kate to go so far as to put it in his high-profile book. True or not, we all know that once a rumour is outed, its tar will stick.

That's why Kate has tar all over her face right now. (Not literally, of course... that would be... racist.) 

I remember Meghan explaining to Oprah:  "In those months when I was pregnant, all around this same time, so we have in tandem the conversation of [Archie] won’t be given security, he’s not going to be given a title, and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin is going to be when he’s born."

Oprah was agog. “What? What? Who is having that conversation with you?”

Meghan (perhaps, you know, thinking of her unborn child who will grow up to surf the interwebs) refuses to name names, as does Harry, when Oprah asks him later in the interview.

But he does admit, "I was shocked."

The whole world was, and I was too - when it happened to me.

Image: Nama Winston

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"What if the baby isn't white?"

You see, it may seem like an innocent 'thought', but that's not what it feels like when it's about your child.

I had been married to my husband of British heritage for five years by the time I became pregnant. I thought I would be embraced by a new family by getting married and delivering an heir (LOL), but instead, it was suddenly clear to me they had always seen me as different. As an outsider.

"What if the baby isn’t white?" they had whispered behind my back upon my pregnancy news.

My baby daddy also reported (so unhelpfully): "Mum's really worried about having a brown baby in the family. It will look strange. People won’t know it’s mine."

Then it was clear to me:  having me in the fam was bad enough – it would be even worse if my baby looked like me.

There's no coming back from that – it's always in the back of your mind. It is shocking and insulting and leaves you remembering who your real family is.

So, I understand why Meghan felt defensive and offended, and super protective of Archie at the time. And I get why so many are turning against Kate now.

Oh, Catherine: you were a shining beacon in a crap year: your clothes, your smile, your wearing of invaluable and stolen jewels at black tie events. You seemed 'modern', 'relatable', running around talking about motherhood and mental health.

Now, you've been revealed to be more worried about your kids' cousins in family photos. You've been outed to think similarly to King Charles. Shame.

Here's some advice for the future: zip it and carry on.

Originally published as 'What if the baby isn't white?' I have a story just like Meghan Markle's