Odd question new mums are asking their partners

“I am the problem, but am I alone here?”

It seems new mums are adopting a daily habit they don’t even realise.

One mum has posed the ultimate parenting question to the internet:

"Why do we ask our partners if it's okay to have a shower?"

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"Biggest ick"

Gab Redwine, a new mum, has taken to TikTok to deliver a reality check we didn’t know we needed.

“The biggest ick about myself. I feel like I have to relieve my husband from watching the baby,” she revealed.

While casually folding laundry, she unpacked a brutal default parenting truth.

@newmom.samegab

I am the problem, but am I alone here???? #momthoughts #newmom #parenting #amiokay #anxiousmom

♬ original sound - Gab Redwine

“I’ll be like, ‘Hey, sorry, do you have just a minute? I just want to quickly take a shower. I’ll be two minutes and I’ll come right back. Is that OK?’ And he’s always like, ‘Yeah… go shower,’” Gab shared.

Despite her husband’s unburdened tick of approval, her mum guilt still takes hold.

“I’m like, ‘NO… I can skip! I can skip! We’re fine! It’s fine!’” she said

“Why am I like this?’” 

The ingredients of societal norms, mum guilt, and default parenting have concocted the perfect recipe for self-doubt among mums worldwide.

In the caption of her video, Gab wrote, “I am the problem, but am I alone here?”

She’s certainly not.

Image: @newmom.samegab

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"Patriarchy"

The comment section was flooded with mums echoing her sentiments.

“My husband is literally such a good, hands-on dad who never complains and takes initiative, yet I still feel that way,” one commenter shared.

“It’s patriarchy,” wrote another. 

“The worst part is like there is no explaining that feeling to your husband cause they don’t understand,” a third added. 

Other mums shared similar experiences:

“I asked my husband if I could go on a walk while the baby was napping,” one mother revealed. 

“I found myself apologising to him tonight when the baby was being difficult at bedtime,” admitted another.

“I realised I was in the other room for 20 minutes yesterday and ran out saying, ‘I’m back! Sorry!’” shared a third mum.

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Some even joked that the feeling disappears when grandma is on baby duty.

Gab reflected further in the comments:

“Why do we feel like the baby being …a baby is our fault?” she asked.

Originally published as Odd question new mums are asking their partners