My sonographer shared the sad, shocking responses she sees at gender scans

"I've had dads storm out because the baby is a girl; pregnant women left sobbing on the table. Some are so disappointed, they terminate." Please note: sensitive content

I’m lying on the table having my 20-week pregnancy ultrasound and the sonographer asks whether we’d like to know the baby’s gender?

Although the suspense is killing us, my husband and I look at each other and smile. “No thanks, we’ll wait and see,” I say.

We’ve always loved a surprise on the big day. There’s nothing like having your partner or the doctor say those magic works – “it’s a girl” or “it’s a boy” – after nine long months of anticipation.

For our second child, we actually carried an envelope with us across Europe with our baby’s gender written neatly inside, but we never opened it because it just didn’t feel right.

Now, the sonographer looks visibly relieved, and being a journalist, I can’t help but ask why.

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"They return for a second scan to confirm"

She tells us that she hates sharing the baby’s gender with parents because of the negative reactions she sometimes sees.

I probe a bit more. “What kind of reactions?” I ask.

The sonographer goes on to share some of her experiences over the years. Husbands flying into a rage and leaving the room when they hear the baby is a girl. Pregnant women left sobbing on the table.

What she says next genuinely surprises me.

“Some are so disappointed, they terminate based on the gender,” she says. “I know this, because they come back to me for the ultrasound evaluation to confirm they are no longer pregnant.”

This blows my mind. I’m 100% pro-choice when it comes to abortion and I believe women have the right to choose whether having a baby is right for them or not.

But I didn't think it happened based on gender. Apparently, research may suggest otherwise.

Image: iStock

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There's a cultural preference for sons

In 2018, researchers from La Trobe University found indications that prenatal sex selection was taking place in Victoria, despite legislation that banned the practice.

In the first study of its kind in Australia, the research, which was published in the International Journal of Epidemiology, revealed that a cultural preference for sons among some ethnic groups had led to more boys than girls being born in Victoria in recent years.

An SBS investigation also found higher numbers of boys than girls being born in some ethnic communities, raising questions about sex selection in Australia.

As a mother to two daughters, the idea that women may feel pressured into having an abortion after discovering they’re having a girl breaks my heart. I also can’t help but feel for the sonographers, like mine, who have to navigate this.

When the big day finally arrives for me to deliver our baby and to find out the gender of our child, we couldn’t be more excited.

My husband’s voice is filled with emotion as he proudly announces what we’ve been hoping for. “Honey, it’s a girl,” he says.

Tears stream down my face as I say a silent thank you to the universe for my husband and for this precious gift – our daughter.

Originally published as My sonographer shared the sad, shocking responses she sees at gender scans