Mum's 'outrageous' demand about maternity ward is 'from the 1950s'

"This is standard with most births - front up for a private room or hospital if it's such an issue," she was told.

A mum has made a demand about a maternity ward, which feels so strange to some in 2024 that it's been called "outrageous" and "from the 1950s."

She posted her feelings in an online parenting group, asking if she was alone in not wanting any men to stay overnight on the ward.

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"A load of other blokes"

The woman wrote:

"Booked in for an elective C-section  for breech baby. Just going through this week's mail and find a letter from the hospital about what to do/not do prior to the op, what time to arrive etc.

"At the back is a letter for my 'support person', with a list of do's and don'ts for their stay on the ward with me after my section.

"Sorry, WTF?! I love DP [darling partner] dearly but not a chance do I want him or more importantly a load of other blokes on the ward.

"I was already going to discharge myself the following morning but was realistic about staying a bit longer if needed - bollocks to that I am definitely leaving as soon as my catheter is out and I can walk again!"

The mum added that she is fine with men visiting, but doesn't want any men on the ward overnight, when new mums need their privacy.

It seems that an 'open curtain' policy is the most alarming part of the hospital's information.

"The letter clearly stipulates curtains have to be kept open so nurses can monitor you, so absolutely no privacy at all from all the random people on the ward. "

Image: iStock

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"You can't ban a dad"

Speaking to Kidspot, two dads shared their thoughts on the idea of not being permitted to stay with their newborns in hospital.

"It would be discriminatory; it doesn't really matter how I felt about it personally. You can't ban a dad from being there for his child's first night just because some lady doesn't like the possibility of being seen after giving birth.

"If the woman is that worried, she can front up the costs for a private room or a private hospital birth. Otherwise, she has to acknowledge the biological reality that most births come with a dad who is just as excited about their child as the mums are."

The second dad added: "I think this is an outrageous idea and it feels like it's from the 1950s when dads stood outside with cigars."

RELATED: I should have listened to my midwife when she warned me

Most commenters on the mum's post agreed with the dads.

"If you need privacy just draw the curtain round, stand your PARTNER outside IF need be as a guard. Just appreciate the fact that you will actually have time straight after the birth to bond which so many couples don't get," wrote one.

Another added a reality check: "Who do you think is going to pass baby to you and back, help you get comfy, pass you a glass of water/nappies/nipple cream every two mins? Cos it sure as hell won't be midwives. They're busy.

"You should think yourself lucky that you have the option to have someone advocate for you and see you as their only priority. I really hope everything goes like a dream for you because otherwise you are in for one hell of a shock."

But some parents could see the mum's point.

"I think it is horrible that ladies who have given birth are expected to be ok with other peoples partners being on the ward 24 hrs per day," read one comment.

This woman also had a different perspective: "Because they are not patients, they shouldn't be allowed on 24/7, women who've just given birth deserve privacy and dignity, childbirth however you do it is hard enough (especially afterwards).

"Women should have the right not to have strange men in their personal space. A curtain does naff all really to make you feel private and safe." 

Originally published as Mum's 'outrageous' demand about maternity ward is 'from the 1950s'