'I had a crush on my male midwife, it was a heart-fluttery attraction'

“I left his office glowy and full from his attention, his knowledge for my body and the baby I wanted so fiercely to protect.”

Writer and journalist, Milena Nigam, openly admitted to having a crush on her male midwife in a recent post for ScaryMommy. 

The now mother-of-two shares how she felt butterflies for “Mr. Midwife” (as she refers to him) after her first appointment.

After her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, she was elated when she fell pregnant again and was able to be cared for by him. 

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“I loved the feeling of pleasing him”

“A year later, he was in a new office and we had a new pregnancy underway. We heard our baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Our midwife held the foetal doppler to my abdomen to let the sound fill the room; his goofy, wide, awe-filled smile told me, Your baby’s existence makes me so happy. Your body is a thing of wonder.”

Milena added, “I loved the feeling of pleasing him, and there was something else there, too. His calm brown eyes.” 

A woman admits to having a crush on her midwife. Source: iStock

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As her pregnancy progressed, so did her flame 

Once Milena knew that her baby was healthy and safe, she started to feel things each time she went in for an appointment.  Like something out of a romance novel.

“He helped me pull my T-shirt back over my still-flat belly and I felt warm all over," she said.

“He had strong hands, weathered skin. We would talk for an hour, about his daughters, about my family, his adventures, my travels; he never rushed me, there was an intimacy to those appointments.”

Even though Milena knew that Mr Midwife was seeing other patients, she would gush to other expectant mums about him. 

“I always felt an undertone of competitiveness, like we each needed to prove we were his favourite patient.”

Milena’s feelings towards her midwife started to strengthen as the weeks of her pregnancy progressed. Admitting there was a physical aspect to what she was feeling for him, “his nearness was part of the intimacy I craved.”

Milena’s feelings towards her midwife started to strengthen as the weeks of her pregnancy progressed. Photo: iStock

Like a teenager with a crush

As her appointments became more frequent, there was a joy she felt each time she saw him, like a teenager with a crush.   

“There was that extra skip in my stomach each time Mr. Midwife picked up the phone to answer one of my questions,” she recalled.

“Yes, I thought more carefully about what I wore to appointments, how I did my hair and makeup. I left his office glowy and full from his attention, his knowledge for my body and the baby I wanted so fiercely to protect.” 

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This wasn’t just a twosome, it was a threesome

Yes, Milena does have a husband, who also attended almost every appointment with her. And no, she didn’t worry about what he thought about her crush. 

“Given how much we both talked about Mr. Midwife, how much we both loved sitting in that office — unhurried, listened to — it seems we were equally crushing," she said.

At the end of Milena’s pregnancy, she had concerns, and initially Mr Midwife couldn’t find a heartbeat. After a few tense moments, he was able to find the baby’s heartbeat, alleviating any worries for Milena and Kamal. 

It was what happened next that kicked up the butterflies. 

“I wanted to cry, with relief, with unbounded happiness. And then Mr. Midwife told us to go home and have rock-star sex to get labour underway, and I flushed from head to toe.” 

“Our baby was fine, and here was my crush, winking me into the bedroom.”

"I thought more carefully about what I wore to appointments, how I did my hair and makeup." Photo: iStock

After giving birth, the glow started to fade 

Did the crush continue after the birth? It did, but only briefly. 

“And just like that my crush ended. What I’d needed while pregnant was something light, like sunshine, a heart-fluttery affection to soften what could have been an almost paralysing fear of loss,” she said. 

“We met Mr. Midwife during a miscarriage; his kindness, empathy and corny jokes carried me through the second pregnancy.”

A year and a half after her crush ended, Milena was back at Mr Midwife, pregnant again. 

“It was lovely to sit on that couch, to show off the baby he’d delivered and monitor the progress of the next one. The crush may have been over, but we could still celebrate the strength of my body, and his expert care, together.”

Milena Nigam is a Pittsburgh-based writer.

Originally published as 'I had a crush on my male midwife, it was a heart-fluttery attraction'