Mum does the worst thing you can ever do to a teen's bedroom

“It’s like she has no idea who I am and impulsively bought the first thing she saw on the Amazon trending page."

My freshly-minted 18-year-old son was super annoyed with me last night. 

My crime? Collecting the 175 (or three) Pepsi Max cans littered around his room.

He was cross because I'd even set foot into his man cave. To pick up the trash that he'd created from drinks I'd paid for... in a room I'm paying for.

Yes, he was having a moment, and yes I respect his space,  but I'll still never understand how teens get so territorial about their bedrooms over things we do for them, like put freshly laundered and folded clothes on their bed.

I simply can't imagine raging at anyone if they did that for me. But apparently, it's crossing a sacred boundary. I do get that.

Now, a young woman of a similar age has given the entire internet an explainer on the issue - and I have to admit, her mum was way more intrusive than I was.

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The  19-year-old says in  her post: 

"My mum has a habit of cleaning and redecorating on her days off because I think she genuinely finds it fun.

“No matter how many times I’ve told her I don’t want her to buy me stupid furniture for my room and spend money on something I hate she does it again."

The latest 'upgrade', the woman reports that it looks like it was “designed by a 12 year old."

The mum has selected bright pink furniture and AI-generated artwork... “It’s like she has no idea who I am and impulsively bought the first thing she saw on the Amazon trending page."

Image: iStock

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The woman says her dad was also there for the 'room reveal' - and wasn't supportive of her reaction, accusing her of being "ungrateful."

“He said I should like it because I’m a girl,” she recalls - even though she's a woman.

Nevertheless, the woman says she hugged her mum and apologised for being upset. Although the teen told her that she "really appreciated it," she still “just can’t help but be mad” about the lack of consultation.

“What’s the harm in just asking me if I want it? There’s no way she thought I’d like this at all."

Commenters on the post had varied reactions.

"Your feelings are valid. It's not a stupid thing to be upset over," one reassured her.

"She and your dad walked all over you and did not care how you feel, that's why it hurts. You even feel guilty for a) feeling upset, and b) your mum's spending.

"Even though if you look at the events logically, you did not want any of this to happen and you clearly have no power to stop any of it. So where is the guilt coming from? Speaking as someone who has similar dynamics with family - whenever you can afford it, move out and get therapy.

"In that order. It would save you a lot of pain in your life."

But there was also this perspective: "You know your situation better than anyone on here. I’d say help her if you can but also you need to live your life and don’t sacrifice too much of yourself if you feel like you can’t help.

"She’ll still always be your mum. You only get one."

Would you consider this crossing a boundary with your adult child? Tell us in the comments on Facebook.

Originally published as Mum does the worst thing you can ever do to a teen's bedroom