I’m dreading Xmas: I'm not emotionally prepared for this upcoming mum milestone

"Will this be our last magical Christmas? I'm planning to hide and sob in the bathroom," writes mum Melissa for Kidspot.

My son is two years old. It’s the first Christmas where he understands who Santa is and why it’s all so exciting.

 

 

He can’t believe his luck as he runs into the living room to find a mountain of presents under the Christmas tree.

Then, my son is three years old. It’s the week before Christmas and we are making a gingerbread house together. We sing Christmas songs and I can’t help but feel like my heart might explode with happiness.

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"I know these years are limited"

Next minute, my son is four years old. It’s Christmas eve and I tell him it’s time to get ready for bed because Santa will be arriving any minute. Usually the bedtime routine takes a good hour and he drags it out as long as possible.

As we jump into his fire truck bed to read a story, we hear Santa’s bells in the garden.

My son yells, “Mum, get outta here!” and pushes me out the door. He leaps back into bed at lightning speed, closes his eyes and is out like a light, snoring in seconds. I keel over laughing in the hallway.

When I think back to these memories, my eyes fill with happy tears, but there’s also a feeling of sadness and dread lurking underneath. Because I know these years are precious and limited.

Harley Noble, aged three. Image: Supplied

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"My neighbour said I was old enough"

I’ve always loved Christmas. In fact, one of my favourite things about becoming a parent was being able to relive all the wonder of childhood, and in particular, the magic of Christmas.

I’ll never forget when one of our neighbours decided to spill a few not so magic Christmas beans and let the cat out of the bag when I was eight. My mother was so furious she confronted him about it. He simply said I was old enough to get the full story.

My son is now eight and I have been dreading when the inevitable question might arise. I can’t help but wonder, will this be our last ‘magical’ Christmas?

A study I read revealed the average Aussie kid learns the truth about the man in red at the age of seven. Great, so we’ve already reached that checkpoint and I’m technically in time extension.

The study revealed the most common online offender was advertising, with 44 per cent of children questioning their belief in Santa after seeing ads online for the gifts they’d wished for in their letters to the North Pole.

Over a third said a quick Google search on Santa returned web pages explaining the ins and outs, while 25 per cent of children simply watched on in the background as their parents shopped online for Christmas presents.

Facebook also exposed Santa’s true identity to one in 10 Aussie kids.

"The jig is up"

I know that it’s only a matter of time before a child at school says something or my browser betrays me.

I hate lying, so if my son does come to me with that particular question, I’ll fess up and tell it straight. But I already know I’ll hide in the toilet and sob afterwards.

After all, it will be the end of a chapter. One that has given us so much joy. A little bit of magic in this often all-too serious world.

Originally published as I’m dreading Xmas: I'm not emotionally prepared for this upcoming mum milestone