‘I’m a recovering alcoholic and my in-laws gave my kids drinks behind my back’

“I’m so upset but my husband thinks it’s harmless,” the mum reveals.

Kids are little mimics.

We see it in the way they mug and pose for the camera, looking like little influencers when they’re barely out of nappies, or the way they declare “oh f**k” in a very grown-up tone when their magnet tile creation collapses.

It would follow then that if kids see their parents vaping, or drinking, or doing anything on a regular basis, they might be more likely to pick it up.

“… the longer you delay your child’s exposure to – and their own drinking of – alcohol, the less likely they are to develop problems with alcohol,” Dr Vicky Phan said in an interview with HCF about drinking.

“Don’t get drink in front of them, say no to alcohol so they can see it’s ok. Don’t use alcohol to cope with stress.”

For her kids and for herself, Marie gave up drinking completely two years ago.

The mum-of-two said it was “becoming problematic”, and three years before she quit drinking, she’d watched her brother die from alcohol poisoning.

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The in-laws had given their grandkids a drink behind their mum's back. Photo: iStock

In-laws give grandkids alcohol

Drinking is a tricky subject for her, but with her kids only eight and 10, she thought she had some time before she’d have to consider the effects of alcohol on her children.

But then her husband took the kids to visit the in-laws, and they gave them champagne.

“Just sips,” her husband explained, but Marie was furious.

“I think this is inappropriate on its own, but an especially odd choice given they have a sober mother,” she explained on Reddit.

Marie acknowledged that given her history, she might be more sensitive to the topic, but she still thought it was the wrong thing for her in-laws to do.

“Husband thinks it’s harmless and I’m upset about it,” she said.

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Some people thought it was an issue between Marie and her husband.

“If your husband was there, and it sounds like he was, this is a spouse issue, not an in-law issue,” one person said. “He, the other parent, approved what took place.”

“You’re blaming the in-laws, but your husband was there,” agreed another person. “It sounds like the two of you weren’t aligned on whether you were OK with having your kids sample alcohol.”

Some thought it was a good time to have a conversation with the kids about alcohol, while others thought they were too young.

“I’m an alcoholic,” one person said. “My oldest is eight and I’ve had several conversations with him specifically and in general about alcohol, addiction, drugs. I’ve done this because I do not want to miss the starting shot.”

And while some thought giving kids a sip of alcohol was harmless, others disagreed.

“I am not opposed to letting older children – like teens- try. I gave my 14-year-old a sip on NYE. But eight and 10 is insane to me. I would seriously question that judgement.”

Originally published as ‘I’m a recovering alcoholic and my in-laws gave my kids drinks behind my back’