'I walked in on my seven-year-old son watching porn'

Mum Sophea's heart sank when she saw a disturbing Facebook post in a mums' group.

"I walked in on my seven-year-old son watching porn."

This is a comment I saw recently in an online Facebook mothers' group.

It completely blew my mind. How could this possibly happen? I expected to see a lot of shocked parents and possibly a lot of judgment in the comments - it is Facebook after all.

But I did not see that. What I saw was much worse.

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"Not a one-off case"

When I looked at the many comments, I saw that this was most definitely not a one-off case. It had happened to many parents.

“The same thing happened to me when my son was six.”

“I know how you feel, my daughter was in a similar situation recently.”

I've since had a horrible realisation how unknowingly naive so many parents are to technology. This is in no way about blaming parents, judging them, or making them feel bad. It is a warning to all parents out there with devices.

A wake-up call - that we must talk about the realistic danger of kids on devices more - and hopefully educate every single parent out there so that this can be avoided.

Our children should never have access or come even close to being in a situation like this. 

The mums in the group were genuinely scared and asking for help, they felt terrific that something like this had happened so easily.

"We need to be prepared for this"

My kids are only young, not even five yet. So we haven't had the pressures from school to get devices yet, however, we firmly have no iPad or let our kids play on our phones.

I get it, it's easier while they are young, they don't know any different.

But I know the day will come when they ask for an ipad to play a particular game, or want to watch YouTube, or perhaps want to borrow my phone.

And my husband and I want to be prepared for that day, like all parents should be.

Lucky for me, my husband is a primary school teacher and we are both quite tech savvy. So we understand how things can happen.

We understand that the internet is not all games and fun things. There is a very real and dark side to all of it.

Image: Sophea Manzl

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I spoke to expert Adam Whittington

I also follow Adam Whittington on Instagram so have learnt a lot from him about the dangers of the internet (if you are a parent and are worried about online safety, go follow him now).

I was lucky enough to speak to Whittington recently and I asked what his top piece of advice is to all parents out there letting their kids use devices at home, and how they can keep them safe. This is what he said:

"Parents must regularly monitor their kids' devices. Check all devices, & recheck periodically.

"Know what they are watching, who they are chatting to, and the apps they use. It’s crucial parents understand and become experts on each app their kids use. Know the safety guarding settings each app has and use them.

"For the actual devices, make sure parental safety settings, like GOOGLE’s SafeSearch are turned on. One of the easiest ways to block porn is by activating Google SafeSearch. When activated, Google SafeSearch will filter out explicit content from the search results, restricting kids’ access to them. Before activating Google SafeSearch, ensure that Google Chrome is your default browser.

"I wouldn’t say turn off the internet completely because kids especially in advanced countries now have their school curriculum on smart devices. Cutting off your kids' internet actually prevents and limits their education. My kids' school lessons are all on smart devices now, even in class."

Adam Whittington has over 1.1 million followers and aims to end child exploitation. Image: @adam_whittington23

My advice for parents of younger kids

So it has me planning for the future. What will be our rules one day when our kids are a bit older and start to want devices a bit more? I'll explain, although my opinion might not be popular.

Avoid connecting their devices to the internet altogether, except for when they are doing school work; if possible.

And if we do, we will make sure we can visibly see what they are looking at.

I honestly believe, if you don't have the time to see what they are doing, maybe they shouldn't be on the device at all.

I'm talking about primary aged children. Do they really need to be online when school work isn’t involved?

YouTube? Completely banned in our house. TikTok? No way my kids are going on that. Online games like Minecraft where they can chat to 'strangers'? No way. To me, the dangers of these apps are black and white.

It's not worth the risk.

And when they do need the browser, I'll be making sure there are strict parental policies in place and I will ALWAYS keep an eye on them.

No devices in their rooms. Only apps that I completely 100% understand and trust.

You are probably thinking it's easier said than done.. but when it comes to the safety of our kids I honestly believe this should be a standard set of rules.

These are my opinions on the matter. I understand a lot won't agree and think my rules are impossible.

But children are so smart, when things are explained to them and role modeled to them, they can understand.

Don't feel judged if you let your children have access to these things. It's not about judgment and it's not about anyone telling you what to do.

But please make sure you take the time to research the very real dangers of many online platforms.

It's our duty as parents to understand so we can protect.

Originally published as 'I walked in on my seven-year-old son watching porn'